raelia maude | eight | cb | fin

I was a sinner, not a saint, but freedom still came.

I was a drinker, a gambler, a pretty face with a silver tongue, and somehow, remained unscathed.

"Is it fair?"

"No."

But I was free, and still unchanged. No death for me yet, no destruction and turmoil. nineteen years old, and my brown eyes had only watched others suffer from the safety of my grandparents' living room.

("I would just die if that were you, Rae. I would just die."
"I'm safe, Grandma.")

(For now.)

I wondered if, when the baby inside me was all grown up, she would share my luck. I wondered if she would make it to 19 like me, or if she would be my punishment. My left hand rubbed the slight protrusion from my belly, the other pouring a bottle of spirits down the drain.

"I'm making a change, little one. For you. Once and for all."

And hopefully, it would be enough to save us both in the end.