kraygon truus ; emsrocks/mattio ; white elephant

The sun sits high in the sky, and a gentle winter breeze fills the air, but the sun is deceiving. The temperature is much colder than I thought. Each hair on my arm stands straight, and chills run down my spine. I hate the sun for deceiving me. For making me leave my jacket at home, but the constant moving around makes it better until the icy breeze flies through me. Dead grass crunches beneath my feet with each step I take. It's only been a few days since I left the letter and the locket with her turning my life around forever. The withdraw from the alcohol is killing me, but it's worth it. For the first time in a long time I have found a reason to smile, and it's not one of those fake smiles. No, it's a genuine smile laced with happiness. In all honesty, it feels amazing to live a life of freedom. Don't get me wrong, I'm still living moment by moment, breath by breath, trying to survive the small steps. I learn every step of the way to appreciate the small victories, and it has helped me in so many ways.

People file through the district. Constant chatter echoes through my ears bouncing through my skull before sinking into the mindless abyss forever. Most are celebrating the winter holidays while others are fighting to find a way to survive. I feel for them, honestly, because I have been in their shoes, and right now I am in their shoes. Food is scarce, and at the farm we have no animals ready for slaughter. The chickens are still laying eggs. The cows are still giving us a decent amount of milk. Well, all of them except one. Cowie is sick, and she has been for a long time. Perhaps that's what sent me out today. To find her something that could help her. Maddy has done so much, but her efforts seem worthless. Cowie is a part of the family, and her place in my heart has grown much, much stronger since the death of Esme. I'll never forget the day you brought her home. I'll never forget your love for her;

I'll never forget you.

Walking into one of the shops, my eyes dart from item to item. Perhaps it's a chance to bring something special to my family. I've already broke myself of the ways of life. Breaking the rules. Destroying the evil around me. Maybe it'll show them the good can rise and the evil can die. But what is evil? Under the eyes of the Capitol, I am evil. I demolished their perfect district square; since then it's been repaired. I assaulted a peacekeeper. I am a criminal. Yet in the eyes of myself, and a few people I know, the Capitol is evil. The peacekeepers are their puppets. Those who follow their ways with honor and integrity are evil. But even that can't make up for what they've done. I stride through the shop looking at items along the way until one item in particular catches my eye.

A beautiful locket like the one I left for Esme sits in front of me, yet the price is out of my range. I could never afford it, but I have to get it for Evelyn. She can out her memories inside of it. She can use it like I used mine although I'm not sure she would understand. Taking a deep breath, I look around praying that nobody sees me. Fragile fingers wrap around the chain lifting it off the shelf before tucking it away in my pocket. Ma would kill me if she knew what I had done, but she's not here.

Lowering my head, I make my way to the front of the store doing what I can to keep the attention away from me.

All I hope is to make it home without anyone stopping me.