Jonny Trumton D1 {fin}

Name: Jonny Trumton

Age: 18

Gender: M

District: One

Look, I don’t mean to brag, but, quite frankly, I’m the best there is. You don’t have to take my word for it. Just ask around. Many people, good people mind you, have told me, “Jonny, you’re a great guy. You’re really fabulous.” Not my words, theirs. And keep in mind, these are good, accomplished people, not some lower district scum.

But hey, you probably want a breakdown, right? I mean, look at me. What’s not to like? Where else can you find features like this? I’m telling you, and again, I don’t mean to brag, since you know, I’m quite the humble guy, but people have come up to me and said, “Jonny, you’re one of the most handsome people out here. Seriously, I’m in awe of your golden mane of hair.” Imagine that, describing my hair as a golden mane. I mean, it is, and you can come up to me and touch it, I’ll let, so don’t worry. It’s absolutely real. All natural, everybody, unlike some people I know, and I won’t name names here, but some people aren’t all they appear to be. I’m all natural, that’s right. That’s 100% authentic.

The same goes for my golden skin, you know. Some people, and these aren’t the good people, but bad, untrustworthy people, say I cover myself with all sorts of materials to make myself this tan. Come on, that’s just ridiculous. My features are nothing but the result of pure and perfect genetics. Where else could I get these piercing blue eyes, this hawkish nose, and that’s a positive feature, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, or this beautiful pointed chin? My father might be wealthy, one of the wealthiest in the district actually, and by the way, he had to work his way up to that position, not just get it handed to him on a silver platter like those in the Capitol, but I can’t get those fancy surgeries like they do over there.

Luckily I don’t need to change anything about myself. I’ve got my 6’ frame, my muscles, and hey, don’t let anyone tell you they’re small, OK? If they were any bigger I’d be bulky, and who wants to be bulky? Then you can’t move at all. You’re just a useless hulk of muscle at that point. So yeah, I’m not bulky but I’m not small either. Everything about me, arms, legs, chest, hands, it’s all just the right size. I mean there’s one part of me that’s bigger than normal, I promise, but that’s something only a select group of people can confirm, so you’ll have to take their word for it, or try to join that inner circle.

Now, look, I’ll be honest with you, and know that I’m always honest. I’m one of the most consistent truth tellers out there, just ask and see. People will come up to me and say, “Jonny, your candor really inspires me to be more like you,” and I can’t blame them for thinking that way. Seriously, I can’t even remember the last time I told a lie, unlike many of the crooked people all over Panem, especially in those lower districts. I only really see them in the Games, but they always strike me as dishonest, always hiding something, where our district always has smart, honest, good people. It’s a shame so few of them make it home, it really is.

But anyway, I was talking about how you can confirm a piece of interesting information. I’m telling you, as long as you’ve got good looks, not as good as mine of course, but good looks, and you’re not a complete fool, you’ve got a good chance of finding out for yourself. Now, that doesn’t mean I necessarily like to sleep around. I’ve got plenty of important things to do, but I want to give people the opportunity to have an experience of a lifetime. After all, it’s not every day you get to sleep with Jonny Trumton. Look, a few people have gotten the chance to do it more than once, just a few, and I’m not saying they’re not good people, though in retrospect, not all of them were, take that as a warning by the way that you don’t always know what kind of people you’re sleeping with, but none of them lasted long, and I know I prefer one-offs instead of any sort of relationship.

And by the way, I love everyone in the district, even those of you I won’t sleep with. District One is by far the greatest district in all of Panem. We have the greatest merchants, the greatest jewelers, the greatest warriors. Really, all of Panem envies us. That’s probably why we have so many wanderers coming in unnoticed. The little vermin from the other districts think they can invade under the cover of shadows, ruining the quality of life here in our wonderful district. Look, our fence is great and all, and the peacekeepers are tough, but it’s not enough. Really, look how many fugitives from other places make their way over here. When people leave other districts, they don’t bring productivity to ours. They bring crime, and we don’t need that hear. I know I said the peacekeepers are strong, but they clearly can’t help us here folks. It’s sad, I know. Just sad. But, there is a solution. We can replace the fence with a huge wall, impenetrable by those from the outside.

Obviously, I can’t spearhead that movement yet, but my father, a great man, mind you, might be able to. Some of you already know of the great Frank Trumton, legend among some of our greatest entrepreneurs here. He started from nothing, you know, just a man with a dream. He opened up his first store when he was just around my age, only 18 years old, and he was so successful with it. Really, he is probably the most successful person I know. You know some say, not me, though I agree with them, that without him, the district wouldn’t have become the Capitol’s favorite. He doesn’t just have one store anymore, but so many, that you could walk down any block with businesses on it, and chances are at least one of them, maybe more, is his. Anyway, you didn’t hear it from me, but he might go for the position of district mayor. We’ve had some pretty weak leadership recently, and I think he’s the strong man we need to really turn things around and make sure we really do solidify our spot as Panem’s greatest.

Obviously I’ll be right beside him when that happens, and I can think of no better way to boost support for him than to vouch for him as a victor. That’s right, not only do I plan living my life as a business genius and a weapons pro, both of which I am by the way, because of all the knowledge my father has shared with me and because of all of the time I’ve spent training, especially with swords, the weapon of the strong, but I want to enter the Games and bring honor back to the district in my own way. With my support, and the people’s of course, I am sure my father will become mayor.

Though now that I think about it, I might be able to achieve the same thing without taking part in the games myself. Now of course, it’s not because I don’t want to. Trust me, I’m more than willing to risk my life for the good of the district. I love it, I really do. But there’s only one person who gets picked each year, and the chances of that person being me are pretty small. Besides, on the tiny chance I don’t make it back, which won’t happen of course, but hey we have to be reasonable here, just in case that happens, what happens to the district? Nothing. It remains in the hands of weak leaders, dropping in standing compared to the others. We can’t have that, right? Luckily, I have plenty of friends, so many friends in fact, that I can’t name them off the top of my head right now, but all I need is one friend to win, and together, we will bring honor to the district. My friends all support me, so although I’ve always wanted to be a victor, I think giving someone else the ability to gain that privilege is much more honorable and, if I’m being frank, and I always am, much easier.

So don’t you worry about a thing. I care about you and the district as a whole, and I love everyone in it, rich, poor, whatever, and my father and I will do everything in our power to make the district great again! Now, if you’ll excuse me I’ve got some of the best dining available waiting for me at home, and you know, if you want to be the best, you’ve got to eat like the best.