Pulling my heart strings [ Cameo] JB/Deja

“…Cam?” That sweet voice of Scarlet’s echoes within my thoughts. “Camille…Honey, you need to wake up. You need to see Deja before they take her to the Capitol.” But it’s those words that truly alert me back into reality, along with a rupturing pounding across my skull. A single moment ago I was pleading to be waking up from a gruesome night terror…except that’s not the case, of course it’s not. When things are appearing better, evidentially now that’s all in preparation for things to crumble once more.

Automatically I force myself to return to my feet, despite the fact that a swirling daze overtakes my entire body. “Slowly…” Scarlet attempts to ease me to a standing position, but there’s no time for that. Once again another precious Life is being ripped from my heart. “Are you okay?” Concern drips from her words, though not with as much fear that’s consuming me at this moment.

“Where is she?” I demand, instantly derived by guilt because I’ve never spoken in such a manner to my Love. “I’m sorry…I just have to see her.” She nods, understanding that my own health can certainly wait.

“Justice building.” A point directs my swaying gaze to where I must go, and simultaneously that’s where I’m headed. It feels as though my stampeding heart is beating against my head, while that also doesn’t matter. Peacekeepers welcome me past the doors, preparing to halt me for the chaos I performed during the ceremony, but they also don’t matter. All that matters is Deja.

My knuckles are pale white from the clench I’ve yet to drop, willing to protest the Keepers I don’t stand a chance against. “Where the hell is she?” My own language is even foreign to myself, though I don’t care to correct it. “You have to let me see her!” Never before have I acted as such, though this is not like any time in the past. And thankfully, with the minutes ticking away, I’m not denied for my poor behavior.

The doorknob that holds one of my children hostage acts as yet another obstacle in my determination. Of course Deja barricaded herself in the room, I should have assumed. And to yet not another surprise she demands for whoever may be attempting to enter, to go away.

“Deja…Deja, it’s me…Camille.” I try to comfort her anyways; just as I did the morning she entered my Foster house. “Please, sweetie. Let me in.” I practically beg, desperate to be there for her while I still can be.

The obnoxious rumbling of a chair scratching against the floor at least allows me to know Deja’s permitted me to enter. And of course the second the knob budges in the slightest, I’m releasing the door between us. Except now a rush no longer controls every muscle within me. The last thing she needs to see is the fear upon my eyes or bones. Once again I must force myself to be strong for my Youngsters.

She cowers against the wall nearest to myself; unlike yet similar to the first day I met her. That initial welcoming into the Foster home she wanted little to do with me, and that I had to understand. Now the need for comfort glares from her view, while I waste no time to provide it.

Slowly but surely I approach, as her shaken, petite voice consumes the room. Why she’s been forced into this horrifying destiny is a question I’m for once unable to answer. “I don’t know Babygirl…I don’t know.” Being clueless is a state I absolutely despise. Usually I’ll conspire even a vague explanation for anything, but I can’t. All I’m capable of doing to shielding her in my embrace while I still can.

Soft arms encircle her gently, while my fingers comb through her red locks. “I tried to volunteer in your place, but apparently I’m too old.” I attempt at some humor, only to fail miserably within my tone. My cheek rests upon the top of her head, never wanting to release her back into this cruel Panem. “I could have sworn I was still eighteen.” Nope, the comedy still refuses to alter the mood.

“But look…you’re strong Babygirl, I know you are.” My hands shift to her shoulders, and my height shrivels to match hers at eye level. “You’ve already defeated so much in your life, I know you can with as well. Don’t trust anyone. Hide, and only fight when you absolutely have to. I’ll be right here when you get back. I know you can do this.”

There’s a kneejerk reaction to barricade the room again, or to help her escape…but I know none of that will work. And if I were to try, I could lose all of my children in the process. Deja is still alive. She can make it through this, just as she has in the past. So all I can do in embrace her once more, and beg that I’ll never have to let her go.