death wishing // kaplan {blitz}

Sage was more than frustrated over the fact that Affron had decided to volunteer as well, and the boy rarely even got angry. Boarding the train, he went to a different car than his best friend. At the moment, all he really wanted to do was be by himself. His guess was that, if he volunteered, he'd be by himself. Unfortunately for him, his prediction was incorrect. Instead of just letting Sage march into a death match, his closest friend had followed him. Although Sage was glad that someone cared that much about him, he was infuriated that Affron was going to risk his life just to stop Sage from losing his.

As time passed, Sage had munched on a few of the Capitol delicacies that had been provided on the train. Eventually, after sitting on a comfortable, plush couch for a while, he decided that it was best that he approach Affron about what had happened at the reaping. Despite the fact that he really didn't have any desire to start a potential argument, he knew the conversation would have to happen sooner or later. Therefore, Sage got up out of his seat and made his way to the car that the other boy was in. The automatic door slid shut behind him, and as it did, Affron seemed to have noticed his presence, as he spoke up, clearly displeased.

He wanted to know why Sage had a 'death wish' all of a sudden. The younger boy didn't get caught off guard with this comment, though.

"You seem to have one as well," commented the boy.

The look on Affron's face was certainly one of displeasure. He had shot back right at Sage after the younger boy made a comment. Affron was quick with his reply, and it was somewhat clever. It also made Sage really think. The words that had arrived at his ears weren't ones that made him happy.

"There's a difference between having a death wish and not being afraid to die," Affron had expressed. Sage raised an eyebrow in response to this. What his best friend had said was not something he wanted to hear. Why wasn't he afraid to die? Instead of questioning it, however, Sage remained quiet. There was already tension in the air, and he had no desire to cause it to thicken. That was certain to only make the train ride less pleasant.

"I have nothing to live for," Affron stated. This took Sage slightly off guard, but once again, he remained quiet, listening to the rest of what was to be said. "You still haven't told me why you decided to volunteer," he added with what seemed to be a look of concern on his face. Sage almost felt guilty for volunteering. Almost. Then, Affron added one last thing that really got to Sage. "When you know damn well you don't have a chance at winning."

Sage scoffed. "Don't have a chance?" he questioned. "Even if that is the case, shouldn't you have a bit more confidence in your friend?" He paused for a moment before continuing.

"I volunteered because I don't have a life that I really enjoy. You and Parsley are the only ones that actually care about me. I have the worst luck in all of Panem, so if I didn't volunteer, it's likely I would have been reaped, anyway. No one would miss me."

After they'd already been conversing for a decent amount of time, Affron finally turned to face Sage. They were looking one another in the eyes, now, and Sage didn't break eye contact with Affron. He almost did, however, when Affron told him that he was going to do anything in his control to make sure that Sage made it out. He even promised. Sage clenched his fist. In all honesty, Sage didn't want to make it out. He didn't even have a brief moment of wanting to. Perhaps he would have if Affron didn't follow him in, but now that he knew he wouldn't even have his best friend to return to, he had no desire to make it out.

Sage felt the pressure of Affron's strong hands on his shoulders, his frail body knowing how much weaker it was than that of the older boy. He was weak due to how little food he consumed in his life. Perhaps he really didn't have any sort of chance. Anyone bigger than him, which was likely most of the other tributes, could snap him in two without too much effort needed. The next words that Affron released into the atmosphere sent the first feeling of guilt Sage had had since volunteering through his body. When the older boy spoke, Sage didn't interrupt. He even took a minute to process what was said before he responded.

Affron had told him that his own parents didn't even visit him in the Justice Building. Of course, Sage's hadn't either, but Affron wouldn't have known that Sage didn't even have parents anymore. They'd died years ago. Affron also insisted that there were people back in the District that loved Sage. In part, this was true. There was Parsley, his sister. Though, was there really anyone else that wasn't here with him that cared about him? He doubted it. It was the last part of his friend's words, however, that really got to him.

"'Cause if I wasn't riding this train to hell with you, I'd miss every fiber of your being," Affron expressed.

Sage looked down at his feet, no longer wanting to make eye contact. His new-found guilt was taking over his mind. He couldn't think about anything else other than the fact that he had just sentenced at least one of them to death. Then, Sage looked back up, into Affron's eyes. The older boy's hands still rested on his shoulders, but Sage didn't try to slip away. In a way, it was comforting.

"I'm sorry. I know there's nothing I can say to change what I did. I should have thought about it more before I jumped into this, but there's no turning back now." He paused a moment, then continued. "Oh, and you're not dying for me, if that's what you had in mind."