Isaiah Norwood // D6 // FIN

. isaiah norwood ♔ 17 ♔ district 6 .

"They hurt people, you know."

I could never imagine the people who gave me lungs to breathe with and a heart to be human with would be so human themselves that they traded two lives for one.

I could never imagine they would be so human themselves they didn't know and never gave themselves the chance to know how to crawl out of the six foot graves they dug for themselves before it was too late.

I could never imagine that those two lives would be their own.

"I'd like to think this district to be the most helpful of all, Isaiah."

"Why's that, nana?"

"We can do so many things for the better of the people we're surrounded

by and care for so much! Technology for easier living, feeding,

hydrating, bringing each other back to health...it's such a wonderful

thing, Isaiah.


Your parents may not have taken advantage of this, but I know you can.

You've got the potential to be great."

But potential means possibility.

Just because something is possible doesn't mean that it's set in stone.

You can't be great if all you've done is show you're far from that.

"Oh, honey, your hands are really cold."

"Is that bad...?"

"Never. Where there's cold hands, there's a warm heart that nurtures

them."

But she's the reason I aspire to be, work hard to be.

I want to prove to her she's right, even though I'm all wrong--all starting with those who are the reason why I'm here.



Antiseptic walls and smell as I stand in crisp white, liquid crystal dripping from my hands and splashed onto my face to heighten an otherwise dull awareness for the day. I can sleep later, but not now.

Dark ovals under dark eyes under dark hair, the latter sometimes mostly slick but usually dry and messy. There was no time today to look more presentable. Some days are just better than others for racing against the clock. A luxury to be able to juggle schoolwork, this work, and the right amount of sleep all at once. I can have that later in life, right now so much needs to get done.

I blink at pale background against this darkness in the mirror like the pure haven I inhabit and work for. Skinny silhouette, I look to my trembling hands now even colder than before. Always washing them, always exposing them to the elements. I'd like to think nana's right in saying what connects them to the rest of me is a heart that burns with a loving which parents past could never harbor for me or especially themselves.

It's all I have besides her, I think.

But I can't give up just yet.

She can't be wrong, I love her too much to show her that she's wrong. Hand moves to my chest, closed eyes and deep sigh. Aid the mind so I can conquer yet another day and take a further step forward towards greatness. Stepping out to more cleanliness, hearing heels and boots clacking against fresh tile, another shift under the stars to push through.

Disinfectants, pills, and syrups, consumable instruments for the lips and for the masses wanting and needing assistance. For the greater good, I'm glad this is what I want to work with.

"It's necessitation, but they turned it into an addiction."

"...Y-you can't be serious..."

"I would never lie to you, my dear. I could never do that to you like they

did to me."

It's amazing how something created to make life better could be weaponized. Not just for others, but for the users themselves of them for the worse.

"Empty promises. They told me when they had you they would take care of you."

"...They didn't?"

"Not one bit--I always had to haul you out from their place because they

were too busy popping, dealing, seeking out for more.


It became a habit that I had to adjust to. They could never handle being

responsible."

Dark clouds gather and groan in the surface of thoughts, feelings, and memories. Brows furrow in more saddened thought but I have to banish the storm away, I can't think about what its collected now. Please, not now.

"Honey, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I didn't mean it, I didn't I didn't I didn't I--"

"What? What is it?!"

But it's not one that can be easily cleared away, I have to be in the rain once again. Getting soaked in self-manifested diseases that you never could really fight off with bactericidals, a feeling made all too familiar and I want to cry but this isn't the right place at the right time--

"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry--"

"Honey, please talk to me! You're scaring me, why are you crying?!"

"I'm a mistake, nana--"

"No, don't say that! Please don't say that...you're one of the best

people I've ever known, Isaiah. Please...please just tell me what's wrong."

They all see me differently since the incident, but I meant every single word when I had to explain myself as to how it came about and I hope that even if they don't believe me one-hundred percent, they still trust me to strive for no error.

Never meant to kill the poor girl.

Never wanted malpractice to be a blemish to my name, never wanted to misuse drugs like they had until they drew their last breath from gunshots ringing out in late night air.

Never thought prescriptions could be mixed up so easily, so stupidly, so absent-mindedly.

Never saw this happening to me, but I can't say it's that much of a surprise.

"You didn't mean it, you were just doing your job.


It's a terrible thing, but I don't think the girl would've survived much

longer anyway. We're only human, Isaiah, this is the inevitable of being

us.


You just gotta be careful and be more focused and diligent than before,

okay?


You're already great, but off days are just something we can never escape

from as people."

I wish I could believe her.

I wish I could believe in myself.

Second chances were made for humans but they're to me a reminder that we will all never be good enough.

I will never be great enough, but I'm human so I act like a fool and keep aiming to be because she needs to truly see that I am before joining them in the afterlife. Wherever that is.

She deserves the happiness, the satisfaction, so I continue setting out to give her that.

Defying the impossible, it's all I can hope for with this mind of mine.