the weight of the world {Chester day 4}

C H E S T E R .

The stupid delivery word flew away. Just like the life of those who have fallen before him. Rory didn't deserve to die, he paid the ultimate price for the crime Chester committed. And yet he was still alive. Still prancing about. Still doing whatever he could to keep himself and Teddy alive. It meant the world to him. Every second of every single day, and now he had one last thing to do. Catching this was important, but the damn critters were avoiding him. All he had was the pocket whales residing inside his pockets. But he wanted more.

Watching the sun slowly setting over the horizon meant the world to him. It meant he was alive despite how fake it may have been.

Back in district seven, many nights he rest in the wood after the lumberjacks had gone home, and he made himself a bed facing the sky. Watching the sky change from blue to red and purple to black offered a sense of hope. A sense of freedom. None of that existed here. He was trapped like a wild animal caged waiting for execution, but maybe he had the strength to carry on. He lacked the skills Rhetoric and Rory had, yet there he was alive while they were dead.

Rory's cannon still fresh in the back of his mind. All he had to do was tell Wendell who killed him. Tell him that Chester slit Dandy's throat, and maybe Rory wouldn't have died. But right now it didn't matter. He was alive. He had survived.

Another honk filled the air.

Chester took a deep breath, placing his feet firmly on the ground hoping and praying he didn't fail.

C H E S T E R .

For crying out loud. How hard was it? Animals just seemed to attach themselves to his friends, but he had nothing. Nothing but the two little pocket whales swimming around inside his pocket. And yet he kept eyeing the bird flying further away. A heavy sigh left his chest, and he knew he needed to move soon, grab his friend and run further away before Wendell and his little pawns found them. But so far he heard nothing but the honking bird taunting him.

"Okay, little birdie." He muttered through gritted teeth. "I said I wasn't going to eat you, but maybe you want to be food."

Part of him wondered what people thought as they watched the foolish boy talk to the animals lingering inside the dome. Chester didn't care for food. He had plants to devour when his stomach called for more, but right now he would do whatever it took to catch this stupid thing.

"How does that sound?"

The bird only answered with a loud honk, and Chester wasn't sure what it meant. Surely it wanted to survive. All it needed to do was deliver a message. Send it across the arena to wherever the destination was, and Chester hoped it was enough. "If you don't want ate, you best land here now."

Time wasn't on his side, and the longer he stayed here the more likely he was to get caught. Carefully wiping the sweat away, he prepared himself mentally to catch the little bird. It was needed, and hopefully it understood.

C H E S T E R .

His attempts were futile when it came to catching the bird just like he failed to save Rory and he failed to save Rhetoric, but right now it was just him and the bird, and the bird was doing more than he ever imagined possible. But the bird didn't understand. Chester wasn't going to harm it. He wasn't going to do anything bad to it. What was so hard for it to understand? Was it the blood caked against his face and hair? The streaks from the sweat? What was wrong?

He would never know.

But right now he felt like an idiot.

He turned back looking to check on his friend hoping and praying he was still okay, but so far a cannon hadn't sound. The last one he heard belonged to a friend. And it hurt him more than he could ever imagine. "Dammit, Rory." His voice faltered once more, "You didn't deserve what you got."

His gaze lowered from the bird. It wasn't about it. It wasn't about trying to send just any message, this one was important. "I deserved it." The guilt was slowly eating away at him, and the only way to put it off to the side was to catch the bird that taunted him. "Me." But it wasn't enough because he wouldn't hear him. Rory was dead, and the dead didn't talk to the living.

"I deserved it."

He took another breath before wiping his brow once more.

"Please, bird, just come here, and I'll never bother you again."

C H E S T E R .

How did they do it?

It was a question lingering on his mind as he thought about the koalas that Teddy had gathered and the birds Rory caught. Right now it felt impossible, and he wondered what he was doing wrong. What did he need to change to catch it? Begging wasn't working. Asking nicely. Threatening. All of that was out of the question.

He was defeated, though. Trapped within the reality of his own mind. The words didn't want to send the message, but that was their job. To make sure things were sent throughout the arena. But right now he was failing miserably. The bird kept taunting him with its loud honk. It didn't want Chester to catch him. Maybe that was where he was going wrong. Maybe he should pretend he didn't want it. Use reverse psychology and the bird would fly to him.

But would it work?

Or was it just another mind game the gamemakers wanted to play.

He lowered his head into lap hoping nobody would find him. It was one thing to find him as a sitting duck, but without him Teddy didn't stand a chance. Without a leg they could kill him easily, and Teddy needed him. The bird was pushing him away, and Chester was slowly falling into a pit of trying and failing.

Mother and father wouldn't approve, but that was why he didn't give in. He learned the hard way the meaning of failure.

Chester wanted to find success.

C H E S T E R .

He was close to screaming, but he remembered Teddy off in the distance, and he didn't want to disturb him. This bird was giving him a workout, and Chester just wanted to run away and rest pretending like none of this had happened. It didn't matter if he had the bird or not, but he wanted it. He needed the bird to help him. It was important, but all he could think about was how many times he had failed in life. His family. His friends.

Rory.

Teddy.

Rhetoric.

He had let them all down, and now he was letting himself down. It was important to do this. Important to make sure he didn't give up because the only failure was those who gave up. Those who failed didn't keep trying. No matter how many times this bird knocked him down, he would stand up and keep trying. That was what set him apart. The bird may have the upper hand, but soon he would have it. Soon the thing would tire out, and that was what he needed.

Maybe all he had to do was tell the bird he was done. Pretend the battle was over. Maybe the bird would realize he wasn't be threatened - saying he would eat it only tore his chances away.

"Okay, bird. I'm done fighting with you."

It didn't work before, but maybe it would work this time. He wanted to yell, he wanted to shout, but right now he didn't. He kept his cool. Maybe it was what the bird needed.

C H E S T E R .

It wanted to die. That was all there was to it, but it kept flying around. He wasn't sure what to do anymore. His mind was racing, trying to come up with ideas, but he was at a loss. Nothing made sense. Nothing would make that bird come to him, but maybe he was getting close. Maybe all Chester needed to do was keep trying - perhaps his movements scared it.

"Okay, bird, you want to die."

Chester taunted it like it was taunting him. Maybe this was the punishment from the gamemakers for scratching up their floor. Maybe this was his punishment for letting Rory die, but whatever the case, he wasn't about to give up. He looked around, eyes darting back and forth. Nothing would stop him from getting what he wanted. At first it was the crown at the end of the games, but right now it was the bird flying before him.

But what could he do to catch it?

He took a deep breath doing whatever he could to remain calm, but his arms were warm, and his face burned as the flame spread through his body. He had been gone for so long, and if Teddy knew he was just trying to catch a bird, he probably would laugh at him.

He blinked a couple times still wondering what he could do. The bird had outsmarted him for far too long, and Chester couldn't let him stand. Sometimes the predator needed to become the prey. He took a breath, before flailing about. This was what he had to do. It was a shame that most of Panem was watching.

"Just let me catch you, and you can have the happiest life of all."

C H E S T E R .

He threw his arms down. It didn't matter. No matter how many times he begged the beast, it just wouldn't give in. Perhaps it was time to walk away and give up. Just throw in the towel because it didn't matter. All he wanted was to do something important. Something that was worthwhile, but right now he wanted to sit down and cry. It was heartbreaking watching himself fail over and over. Why did he even bother? Why try to do something nice for once? It wasn't something to destroy anyone, it was something of peace. Something he needed to do. But right now the bird just didn't care. Nobody had sympathy for the broken heart crying inside the chest of a murderer.

But walking away would make him a failure.

This was a mission he wanted to complete no matter how long it took, but soon he would have to call it quits. He would have to go back to Teddy so they could move to a safe place further away. Chester wasted a lot of time, and he wanted to succeed. It all came down to the bird and himself. It came down to how much more strength the tiny thing carried. It was bound to be getting tired soon, but what was the purpose anymore.

Walking away would make it easy, but Chester wasn't a quitter.

He too a deep breath locking his gaze on the bird;

"Just let me catch you." His voice was quiet as he lowered his gaze, "It's for a friend."

Pleas didn't work before, but Chester needed them to work now before he ran out of time.