ash [tate/willow]

kousei ♚
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now and forever

ash [tate/willow] Sept 16, 2017 15:45:27 GMT -5

Post by kousei ♚ on Sept 16, 2017 15:45:27 GMT -5

What am I even doing anymore?

There's nothing left to chase for anything worth chasing drained from this world long before I realized. Instead, I'm left dreaming of a time of color, where people could cast more than shadows and the darkness hidden within alleyways could take something from me that was worth defending.

I don't defend, I don't chase -- I just exist.

One step, two steps, three steps; the cycle breaks in power of threes I suppose, I'm left counting because I know it's the one thing I can't get wrong. Counting the steps from one place of zero worth to another. Work or home? What's the difference anymore?

A noise, a movement, a shadow.

I spin around on the second step, eyebrows raised but no panic or fear pulsating through this hollow heart of mine. I just spin around, stop and stare, wondering who will step forwards and reveal themselves. I decide it doesn't matter -- the only difference between the shadows we cast at this point comes down to the size.

"Who's there?"

marcellus rhodes 11b arc
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ash [tate/willow] Sept 16, 2017 16:06:36 GMT -5

Post by marcellus rhodes 11b arc on Sept 16, 2017 16:06:36 GMT -5

willow fields

Today was an okay day. Not the best. Not the worst. I can't say much shit against it because it wasn't an okay day if I talked down to it. So it was just okay. Nothing to say about it and nothing to consider.

A deed done good.

I've yet to really figure out what I want to do with my life. It's a sad admission, really. I've spent a lot of it just walking around and not minding anyone's business. It's a nice way to live. But its no life to live in the future. Though the future sucks. Why should I focus on it? I've got a while until I'll be on my own right?

Knock on wood.

Today was another walk around the boring old district that has been my home. Well, run, but walk is the same thing basically. Right? You still use your legs. Anyways, I had been running and this guy was in m way so I just zoomed by way around him and was on my way. Apparently I must've scared him but he turned around to face the area I came from like he had heard the word of God and was searching for it. "Who's there?" He had asked.

"Uh, me. I'm over here."

I needed a break anyways. Walking is hard.

kousei ♚
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ash [tate/willow] Sept 16, 2017 16:59:22 GMT -5

Post by kousei ♚ on Sept 16, 2017 16:59:22 GMT -5

"Uh, me. I'm over here."

He comes back, his eyes burning holes into the back of my head and his voice echoing throughout every darkened corner within this alleyway, carrying through my skin and shaking my foundations to its core -- opening old scars with the mere thought of his presence.

I almost call out for him but I think better of it -- dead is dead no matter how I smear shades of grey across this hollow universe of mine. He didn't call out to me, a younger girl did. His ideas are still smeared across those cave walls and she's here, breathing, moving.
And so am I.

I bury my hands within my pockets to hide from the cold. "You shouldn't surprise people like that y'know," I say lazily, looking to the night sky. "Especially not on a night like this." I step towards her, almost squinting at her before asking. "You lost girl?"

marcellus rhodes 11b arc
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ash [tate/willow] Sept 16, 2017 17:28:55 GMT -5

Post by marcellus rhodes 11b arc on Sept 16, 2017 17:28:55 GMT -5

willow fields

"You shouldn't surprise people like that y'know,"

Oh, great. On tonight's show we have Mr. Educational on the theory that you learn everything from a single breath you take. I'm not much of a fan, really, but I drug myself into this and I don't wanna drag myself out. It'd be weird and mean for me to do so.

"Especially not on a night like this."

He took a step towards me and I took a step back right after. I was not letting this man get near me. Sorry my dude. Cooties. Probably other reasons but I'll just say Cooties.

"You lost girl?"

I let out a small laugh at that.

"Nah. I know my way around."

kousei ♚
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ash [tate/willow] Sept 16, 2017 18:07:32 GMT -5

Post by kousei ♚ on Sept 16, 2017 18:07:32 GMT -5

She laughs and I do too because it's easy to, even though it comes out more as a weak chuckle than anything. "Nah. I know my way around." She replies and I not in understanding. She's just young, enjoying her life before the reality of the world she lives in comes crashing down around her, crushing her shoulders and pinning her to the ground. Just like how despair pins me to the ground, crushing me with every moment that passes -- I am breaking, breaking slowly.

I wonder if he'd be disappointed in what his brother had become, a stark contrast to the man I was at eighteen. Carving sculptures from soap because I enjoyed it, being creative because simple methods were lost on me, getting girls because I was handsome for my age. I was as lively as this girl, once. "Just enjoying a night out then?" I ask, staring at her feet before smiling weakly. "Enjoy it while you can, kid."