heartbeat \\ {kou!train(6)} blitz

Ever feel like you can’t breathe
Does the water feel too deep
Lie awake 'cause you can’t sleep without it

One step forwards and the world twists and turns, I'm clammoring for railing and searching for repose in the eye of this red storm. We're likely to die, I'm likely to die with no one to blame but myself, no one name as a final curse on the tip of my tongue but my own. I volunteer. To step on the unsteady locomotive and scatter my blood into the eye of this death storm -- raging beneath my feet and clutching my throat.

I can't fucking breathe.

I don't know what brings me to this door in particular, perhaps it's the faint possibility that it'll lead me to seclusion. Somewhere quiet, somewhere away, somewhere that's anywhere but here. I swing it open, soft and quiet footsteps coming to a sudden halt when I spot a bed and Serena sitting on it. But she isn't angry at my sudden intrusion. I don't belong here. "Train messing with you too?" She asks, voice shaking beneath the promise of death. "I've never been on one, so this feels a bit weird." I manage a slow nod of my head.

And a smile.

I step forwards, always one for pushing boundaries if it meant rising with the setting sun and riding with black moon as courage in my heart bloomed into bravery. "Yeah, it's different." I say, feet carrying me forwards as I dare to take a seat next to her.

"Hope you don't mind, it's been a long day."

Ever feel like you’re alone
When you’re lost but your already home
Lie awake 'cause you can’t dream without it

[ dars ]

Ever feel like you can’t breathe
Does the water feel too deep
Lie awake 'cause you can’t sleep without it

Her body stretches across the bed and my cheeks burn with the gentle shades of the sun, her nervous chuckles falling on deaf ears as I just stop and stare until she replies. "Yeah, it's alright. I think we've both had a long day and all." Talk about understatement of the century, 'long day' -- what the fuck was I even thinking? Still, I force a nervous smile and a nod as my vision wanders across the sheets and the floor, scanning the profits that comes from Capitol greed.

"You know, finding out that at least one of us isn't coming back isn't a great reaping day present,"

My reaping day present was my father's fingers curled around my hand, seeds of courage being planted deep within my heart and the years it took for his values to bloom into bravery. Sometimes, I wonder if it ever did fully bloom from the age of twelve and if he regrets not being allowed to see it grow. "I suppose it isn't," I reply, looking back down at her as my mind drifts to what thoughts dwell behind awkward small talk and a pretty face. "But we just have to make the best with what we got in the short time we have," my eyes fall lock with hers.

"I hope you don't die though, that would be a waste."

Ever feel like you’re alone
When you’re lost but your already home
Lie awake 'cause you can’t dream without it

[ dars ]