Before I Cross That Line [Zagreus/Jacob JB]

The years have inched by.

Mere whispers in my ears as quiet reminders are always screaming in my face where I don't want to remember. Cecilia was in everything at the house: the bedroom, the kitchen, the front porch and in Lotus. The years have taken that tiny little baby and given her Cecilia's exact hair color and almond shaped eyes. Her pale, pathetically gaunt body resembles Cecilia's to a tee but I do everything in my power to make sure she eats until her belly is distended. The tesserae is mine to own, and even when I bring home every morsel I can, I sneak away a few extra bites for her. I know my parents work and they need food for fuel, they just don't understand the magnitude of guilt I feel knowing that my big sister had to die too early and here I am still living and taking care of everyone while missing her so much.

Per tradition, I barely slept and instead brought out the old, restored violin of ours. I tightened the strings as everyone got ready for bed that night. Lotus curled up with her head on my lap. Jory faced the wall, snuggled in a thick blanket as I knew tears would seep from his eyes and hidden so no one would see. Gage had taken off to our parent's room, as he had the last two years. As midnight approached, and those that stayed away would listen to the haunting tune of Cecilia's march played on repeat through the night, pausing only to get to my feet in order to make sure that I didn't disrupt Cici's spirit from leaving us too early.

Jory was weird when it came to playing the song. He felt that the song protected us. So far, he had been right. A hum of a string made its presence as the dawn approached and my lips had parted in a yawn, but today, I would sleep when I knew my family was safe.

Yet, I never dreamed that the reaping would take one of my own again.

"Zagreus Moon." His name was so familiar to me. He wasn't always kind to a lot but toward me, he seemed to act otherwise. For that, I respected him enough that when his name was called, my heart yearned to take his place, but my lips would never part. Fear gripped my soul and cut off the circulation. My heart stopped again, but with each step he took to the stage, my heart returned to it's beat.


I dropped my head in embarassment when he disappeared behind the closed doors and I had gathered with my family once more. Cecilia's arms wrapped around my torso and I felt the pressure of guilt paining me. Jory took off running from the town's center and I could only imagine that he was going to go sit on the hillside overlooking the cemetery. I did the opposite.

I found myself opening the door to the justice building room where Cecilia had been placed, or somewhere similar and stood in front of Zagreus. I stood there like an idiot, unable to speak but he spoke first. His voice would be lost on the wind after today and he would become nothing but a memory and I dreaded the moment when I would see his body burn or bleed out to an enemy fiend.

"I... I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders. I stood there, staring at him like I had walked into the room and forgot what I had come for. I turn away, taking a step toward the door. I halt. I take a deep breath and then my voice escaped into the tiny holding cell. "I'm sorry that I didn't volunteer for you. I wish it wasn't you. I wish it was someone that I didn't know - it would make this easier on me, but it's like it's happening all over again."

I turn to face him, my cheek pinched in with a terrible bite into the soft flesh. "Cecilia was too young to die and I don't want to see another person I know go into the games but at this point there's nothing I can do..."

Around my wrist, I unclamp the edge of the doubled bracelett string and hold it out for the man. "It belonged to Cecilia's and my violin. It was from the bow and I use it to protect me from the reapings. It's worked so far - you know how the capitol loves to take away siblings to past tributes. Take it so that she will look after you and bring you home."