𝕕𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 // puppy's victor AUs

𝕕𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 // puppy's victor AUs May 7, 2020 16:34:36 GMT -5

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Post by pup on May 7, 2020 16:34:36 GMT -5

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lily hope
district eight

One week after the end of the 70th hunger games

I doubt my dreams will cease. The fear within me as I ducked and hid, the knife whizzing past me as the careers hounded me down. At night I see that knife flying straight into my eye, Circe Lyon and Orion Hammerfell standing over my lifeless corpse. Each time I wanted to scream out to them that I was just making a sick joke, that the note I sent them hadn't been serious. That the death I had seen and caused had been what drove me to the terrible things I said.

But no, instead I had thrown my axe that I had become so accustomed to at them. It was miraculous that I was still alive and they weren't. I had become what I had thought I was, the queen of the scrap heap, the pile of junk stacked high that symbolized our withering minds.

Then, I had become queen of everything as I stood over Wyatt and Kirito's bodies. I had let them fight it out before my small body inched forwards with an axe, finishing them off. I had killed, so, so many people at this point. Each of their faces lit up in my memories, mocking me as I dropped Frank to the ground. The word/pocket dragon amalgamation failed to provide any form of solace. Tybalt, Circe, Orion, Wyatt, Kirito.

I could hear my doppleganger's laugh in my ears as I struck her down too.

I had been lifted out of the arena to flashing lights and cameras, all trying to turn my story into that of the underdog victor, the one that I'm sure capitolites would eat up. They tried to capture the sweet side they wanted me to show, the side that said I was just an innocent little girl who had gone into the games and come out unchanged. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't smile anymore. Eva had wrapped me up in her arms and Paige had cried into my shoulders. But I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything besides remember the departed.

My doppleganger's laugh as she slashed at me scratched in my memory like nails on a chalkboard as Preston, Mom, and Dad had tried to comfort me. I was so close to dead. They kept saying things that I feel like were just ways of soothing themselves. I don't know what we would have done if you had died. They kept saying, over and over again. They're relieved I am alive. But I don't know how I feel.

Would I be better off slain in that arena. Was Circe's knife a saving grace? Would it have cut short the screeching laughter from monsters in my head?

All I know is that I am paraded around the capitol as the smallest victor. Who knew that I, the child from District Eight could have bested the careers five years older than me. But this life isn't mine. The ghastly voices in my head tell me that. They tell me the stabs in my stomach and back were never meant to heal. They were meant to fade into nothingness along with my body.

I shake myself from my thoughts back to reality, or at least, what I thought was reality, avoiding the light flashing in my head and ears from Tybalt's bomb. I became insane in there. And that's how, deep down, I know that my dreams will never stop. I'll spend years and years living through this hell, not knowing what death could be like until past my time.

made by anzie

finally got around to it - also just reread the 70th and im e m o now because alkjsdflks those games have me in my feels