Headed to the Battlefield {C’rizz/Destrii}
Jan 30, 2018 7:55:34 GMT -5
Post by kap on Jan 30, 2018 7:55:34 GMT -5
“
C’rizz had put himself forward at the reaping. He didn’t fear death- that much was clear. I don’t think he’s ever feared death, nor has the death or another truly ever impacted him. Like Uncle Lorenzo, he didn’t cry at Zagreus’s funeral. Then again, neither did I. Instead, I yelled. Neither Lorenzo nor C’rizz mourns Zagreus, but the same couldn’t be said for myself. I certainly mourned him, wishing he were still alive and with us, rather than dead in a casket that’s buried in the ground.
I wasn’t sure what exactly it was that I would end up saying to my cousin when I entered the room where he was in the Justice Building. Peacekeepers had led me to where he was, and I followed, my heart racing and fists clenched. In all honesty, I felt somewhat proud of him for having the guts to volunteer. At the same time, however, I felt anger. I was mad. Nearly inexplicable rage was very much present. I wasn’t sure, at first, why it was that I was angry at him. It didn’t take too long to figure out, though.
My anger was more toward the situation than anything else. I was mad that he’d abandon his family by going into the Games. At the same time, though, I was proud of him. He’d stepped forward to save someone else who may have died in fear. With all of the strange things C’rizz believed in, such as talking to the spirits of the dead, I always thought he was rather crazy. Now, though, I’m starting to think that it wasn’t a bad thing.
It prevented him from fearing death. It made it so that he was ready to face death if need be, whether he ended up conquering it and returning home alive or losing to it and returning home to us with no life left in his body. I knew then that I needed to meet the boy he volunteered for. I needed to know who he was. I needed to know that he appreciates what C’rizz had done for him, as I couldn’t let it be taken for granted. C’rizz very well could be dying in this boy’s place.
It did not matter in the slightest how much I wanted to think that C’rizz would make it home alive. In my mind, I just didn’t believe it was possible. Personally, I feel that Zagreus was a stronger individual than he was, meaning that it Zagreus couldn’t survive it all, it was likely that C’rizz wouldn’t either. I couldn’t tell him that I believed that, though. No. For once, I wasn’t going to be completely honest in what I was thinking, even if this ended up being my final goodbye to my cousin C’rizz.
When I entered the room, my fists were no longer clenched. Instead, I simply greeted C’rizz. He needed to know that I cared. I’d never visited Zagreus in the Justice Building and grew to regret it to this day. I would not let the same thing happen with C’rizz, even if I didn’t know him as well as my other cousin who’d faced a similar situation. I couldn’t be remembered as the girl who ditched her family when they went into the Games. I didn’t want that reputation.
”C’rizz,” I said with a slight nod to greet him. ”You’re really strong. I can tell. You volunteered for that boy because you have the strength to fight without fear, and I really respect that.”
It was much more than I had expected to say, but they were the words I ended up choosing. This time, I didn’t regret a single thing I’d said. So often, I’d feel I’d said something I wasn’t supposed to. This time I didn’t. Maybe it was because I wasn’t telling him everything that was on my mind. I didn’t tell him about the anger I felt.
I wasn’t sure what exactly it was that I would end up saying to my cousin when I entered the room where he was in the Justice Building. Peacekeepers had led me to where he was, and I followed, my heart racing and fists clenched. In all honesty, I felt somewhat proud of him for having the guts to volunteer. At the same time, however, I felt anger. I was mad. Nearly inexplicable rage was very much present. I wasn’t sure, at first, why it was that I was angry at him. It didn’t take too long to figure out, though.
My anger was more toward the situation than anything else. I was mad that he’d abandon his family by going into the Games. At the same time, though, I was proud of him. He’d stepped forward to save someone else who may have died in fear. With all of the strange things C’rizz believed in, such as talking to the spirits of the dead, I always thought he was rather crazy. Now, though, I’m starting to think that it wasn’t a bad thing.
It prevented him from fearing death. It made it so that he was ready to face death if need be, whether he ended up conquering it and returning home alive or losing to it and returning home to us with no life left in his body. I knew then that I needed to meet the boy he volunteered for. I needed to know who he was. I needed to know that he appreciates what C’rizz had done for him, as I couldn’t let it be taken for granted. C’rizz very well could be dying in this boy’s place.
It did not matter in the slightest how much I wanted to think that C’rizz would make it home alive. In my mind, I just didn’t believe it was possible. Personally, I feel that Zagreus was a stronger individual than he was, meaning that it Zagreus couldn’t survive it all, it was likely that C’rizz wouldn’t either. I couldn’t tell him that I believed that, though. No. For once, I wasn’t going to be completely honest in what I was thinking, even if this ended up being my final goodbye to my cousin C’rizz.
When I entered the room, my fists were no longer clenched. Instead, I simply greeted C’rizz. He needed to know that I cared. I’d never visited Zagreus in the Justice Building and grew to regret it to this day. I would not let the same thing happen with C’rizz, even if I didn’t know him as well as my other cousin who’d faced a similar situation. I couldn’t be remembered as the girl who ditched her family when they went into the Games. I didn’t want that reputation.
”C’rizz,” I said with a slight nod to greet him. ”You’re really strong. I can tell. You volunteered for that boy because you have the strength to fight without fear, and I really respect that.”
It was much more than I had expected to say, but they were the words I ended up choosing. This time, I didn’t regret a single thing I’d said. So often, I’d feel I’d said something I wasn’t supposed to. This time I didn’t. Maybe it was because I wasn’t telling him everything that was on my mind. I didn’t tell him about the anger I felt.
”
