This Is The Bad Place {39ers/Blades/DJ Quest ft. Shy Guy)

Home is so far away, yet spending time with friends in the arena makes a difference. Carmen reminds him of district eleven in ways he can't even explain, but just having Oliver and Fiona at his side reminds him of the good times. Right now Faux yearns to play cards with Kaiba, or even spend time with Vera as she sings songs while running through the tall grass in the fields, or manhandling his nephews. Even sitting at Harbinger's house eating a nice home cooked meal. All of those are gone, and they're slowly tearing at his soul.

Thinking about home is easy, but returning back home is extremely difficult.

Reaching into his backpack, Faux removes the purple pen and the notebook someone sent to him. It's beyond him what he's going to do with it, but maybe it's a way to escape. A way to take his mind somewhere else.

A diary.

Growing up diaries were only for girls, but here now that every moment makes the difference between life and death, what's wrong with writing thoughts down? Maybe someone would allow the words etched inside to reach his brother. A boy could hope, right?

Gripping the pen, he turns open the first page.

Harbinger;

It's Day 1. It's the beginning of what could be the end. I didn't stay in the bloodbath because I'm afraid. I don't want to die, but I don't want to kill anyone. How did you make it out of this alive? I need advice, but you're so far away.

I think of Crusader, Weaver, and Tamron.

I think of how close Crusader and Tamron were to surviving, and how quick people jumped on the train to kill Weaver. I just wonder if that will be me?

I'm alive. I don't know how, but I'm alive. I'm afraid though. Terrified. I don't think I can do this. I have some friends. Oliver, Fiona, and Carmen. I'm worried about her, Harbinger. I'm terrified of what she's done in the Capitol. Temple from Ten warned me, and I'm worried she's made it worse or us.

Thank you for the gifts. I appreciate it so much more than you'll ever know.

I like Fiona, a lot. She's a really good friend, but I know our time is limited, so I should distance myself from her. I just don't know if I can. I hope I don't have to kill her.

I don't want to kill people. I don't want to harm the critters either.

I'm scared.

I hope to make you proud.

I just want to make you proud.

He puts the pen and notebook back inside his backpack. Those words are private for now.

A heavy sigh leaves his chest when the anthem plays, but a single face doesn't light up the sky. Everyone is fighting for something. They all have a reason whether it's a sick family member, or a brother waiting for a sister to spend time together, but Faux's story is different. It started when Crusader entered the games twelve years ago, and it grew worse as time went on. Harbinger survived, but at what cost? Is it even worth it to kill people just to make it home? It is worth it to break the chain holding him together? Faux doesn't know the answer, and he really doesn't want to find out.

The sea is relaxing, and it almost puts him to sleep, but the idea of one of his allies stabbing him in the back crosses his mind. Carmen is young, and not so innocent. Oliver has a boyfriend back home awaiting his arrival. Fiona, she's someone he finds himself intrigued with. She's nurturing, caring, easy to get along with. She's someone he wishes was back home in eleven, but they're both here, and Faux knows both can't live. Yet he can't deny the feelings his heart is preaching.

Time moves slow until a hand reaches for his beard. His eyes snap open, and Faux finds himself staring at Carmen. "Carmen! What the fuck are you doing?" He shouts louder than he means to, yet his words drown out her words. Something about waking up, but doesn't she realize Faux isn't asleep? He's awake, yet his eyes remain close to keep unwanted people away. Using every ounce of strength inside, he turns over facing away from her; "Leave me alone, I'm sleeping."

But those words don't get far before she fires back.

Ugh. This is what I'm stuck with, but I care for her and don't want anything to happen to her.

"Fine. I'm up." Arms fold across his chest as his eyes turn towards the other two, and it doesn't take long for them to start moving out. A peaceful night is all he wanted, and it came true, but the storm is growing bigger. No deaths day one only means a monster is coming for them. It's slightly warmer, and the fog is gone. In a way it's eerie, but he doesn't say a word.

Calloused fingers wrap around the knife holding it close. Attacking isn't what he wants to do, but it's the only way to stay alive. How did his family figure it out? How did Crusader kill those people? How did Harbinger make it out of this mess alive? Why was I chosen for this?

None of it makes sense, but what kind of world is this?

Happiness can't exist, and the hope became real for the Rhodes family. Four years without any pain was too much, and now it's up to Faux to erase the curse. To make it home. To stand side by side with his brother.

I hope I'm making you proud.

Oliver speaks first, and Faux doesn't mind. It'll give him the chance to keep his distance for now, but Carmen asks why he's being so bossy, and it takes every ounce strength not to say anything.

Shaky hands remove the blue bow tie before throwing it on the ground. It's hard to breathe, and a fight is about to happen because Oliver is moving forward without any care in the world. Whoever decided these suits were good for the games needs to be shot, but Faux didn't have the ability to pull the trigger. All he can do is unbutton the top button and try to catch his breath.

Carmen is running, and then she stops.

"Carmen!" He shouts before more tributes are standing in the area, but what really catches him off guard is the giant thing two girls climb out of, well one falls out of. "What the devil is that thing?"

But he doesn't have time to wait for an answer.

Every hair is standing on end as he runs towards his district partner. Wide eyes dart around from person to person. A frantic heart pounds against the walls containing it.

I don't know what to do.

Tears pool in the corner of his eyes. Nobody deserves to die. Nobody deserves to feel the pain, and yet Faux wants to run like the coward he is. He's not the strong boy he appears to be. But he thinks of his brother. Harbinger is somewhere watching, and he needs to be strong for him.

Help me, Harbinger, please. I'm so scared.

Gripping the knife, he moves forward tripping over a root of one of the trees. Sorry only goes so far, and this isn't the time nor place to apologize when they all only want to survive.

---

table by Kaplan
art credit: Kap's photoshop work

Sleep was supposed to come but it took forever. As I lay down, I kept my ears prickled with fear. I told them I wanted to sleep first so I could watch over the night. I wanted to be able to keep my alliance members safe while we were so vulnerable, but what they didn't know was that the sleep that finally came after a few more words from Oliver was flames that licked around the edges and screams that came from within. It was the same as always, but instead of my sisters and brother, it was the faces of my allies. They took on the appearance of my family being perished before my eyes.

After the dream, I didn't wake with a start. I woke with peacefulness as I realized that this place was the reality that I knew was worse then the dream. Death could apparate and slaughter each and every one of them. I'm sure that the sleep hadn't lasted too long as only one had fallen asleep. "I'll take the watch." I told them easily and I sat up watching them the rest of the night until somehow my body shut down and I slipped into another realm unlike my own.

Luckily, death decided to evade us all, at least for one night.

The morning began with Carmen's voice calling for Faux. Somehow she thought that nicknames were her way into the alliance and with us, but the nickname for Faux was nothing like I would choose, nor for my own. However, my little sister seemed to come up with a fun name for me almost every week. So, just this little bit of a memory, even though this was not Hollyn, it made my heart soar. I tollerated it and I tollerated her as well. Her rambunctious nature told me that she was still a kid at heart. No one had any right to tell her otherwise. When Faux's responce to her wake up call sounded out, I couldn't help but grin heavily and take a peek at her district partner. Four years his junior and she was ruling him with her innocence.

"Yeah, Faux. Wake up." I whisper out as I pushed off the ground, stretching the stiffness out of my muscles. Sleeping on the ground was definately not ideal, but it was better than waking up with a spear in my gut. I felt ashamed for falling asleep when they needed me most, but we were set to perish in this arena anyways. I could only hope that it would have been myself first.

As the morning drew on, I knew that with the anthem showing no faces, the future was going to be grim. On the games where no deaths were given, the days that followed were more hell then should have been.

I just happend to be in one of those games.

Fear wasn't something I took to well, but it still lingered near in my heart and as such, I heard Oliver talk about the hat and I could only wear a shit eating grin on my face to taunt him with in return. I hope he knows that I will cherish these moments with him. I can only hope that he will cherish these moments as well.

It wasn't until a little while later, that Oliver caught sight of something in the distance. I gripped the glaive with my fingers tight. The blade was my strength. I never thought I'd be here fighting for my life. I never thought that I'd be watching this monstrosity of a structure come closer with people inside or the view of two others coming straight for us as well. Oliver's movements startled me. I could only watch as him and Carmen both took off in two different directions and their weapons made contact with the supposed enemies we were set to fight. Had the game makers set this up?

Faux followed Carmen and I stayed halted in my steps. I felt confusion. Do I go after Oliver, or stick closer to Faux? Then of all the scenarios that could possibly come to persuade me, it was the hat. I made him wear the stupid thing and I'd never forgive myself for leaving him alone to fight some girl he raged after. "Oliver!" I glanced to Faux just in time to see his arm become littered with blood and my stomach dropped.

It was now or never.

It was Oliver or the girl's death that would save him.

My top lip clinched between my teeth and I bit hard as I soared into the battle that the youth started. If he was going to fight, then I would be there to protect him as well.

---

table by Kaplan
art credit: Dina Pecci

The girl I swung at with the machete I held in my hand wasn't the only one who ended up experiencing pain. After I'd launched my attack, Carmen was soon to follow, and I blocked out the words of the tributes around me for a moment or two. Carmen seemed as if she were frozen, however, as soon as she went to attack, and her weapon never collided with the target she had chosen. Faux was the next to strike, his knife slicing into the girl from Six. If I remembered correctly, she was one of the volunteers, and her name was Quest, but there was always a chance that I was wrong in that regard.

All of a sudden, upbeat music is playing quite loudly in the background of our fight, coming from a device of some sort that one of the other tributes had. I try my best to block out the music from my mind, as ignoring it would be the only way I could focus, and focusing was the only way that I would be capable of surviving this fight that I'd just started. It was my fault that we were in this mess, but I didn't regret it.

That is, until the boy from Two struck Faux. Things started moving more quickly and my blood was pumping even faster through my veins that it had been before. Fiona struck Denali as I had, but the girl from Six hit Faux like her ally had.

"Leave him the hell alone!" I roared at the two tributes that were attacking my male ally.

Before I could even register what was going on, however, Denali and Lex both attacked Fiona.

"Hey, Denali!" I yelled. "I'd tell you not to be such a jerk, but it doesn't seem like you know how to do that." My machete was in my grip quite tightly, and I swung it through the air, once again, still aiming for the same target as before. Now, not only had Denali hurt Carmen in the bloodbath, but she'd also hurt Fiona.

"I wouldn't say this to most people," I told her in my rage. "but I hope you know that you deserve to feel pain." I was gritting my teeth, doing what I could to make sure that all four of us got out of this alive. If anyone was going to die here, I would do absolutely everything in my power to make sure it wasn't Fiona, Faux, Carmen or I.

---

412 words
table by Kaplan
art credit: xrhize on DeviantArt

Water sits in the corner of his eyes threatening to break loose any second. He’s not a fighter, and his own feet are failing him as he stumbles around trying to make sense of all that’s going on. Chaos erupts, and Faux wants to run to leave behind everyone standing in his way. Maybe even find a nice tree to cling to as he begs his brother for some much needed assistance.

But his brother isn’t there. Harbinger is in the capitol somewhere watching this all play out -

I can’t do this.

The thought doesn’t last long because Harbinger’s voice echoes through his mind as if he’s standing right behind him. You can do this. I know you can.

It’s not right that he’s been put in a position to make important decisions like who lives and dies, and yet Faux can’t take his eyes off the girl his knife bit. If sorry would express the pain lingering inside, he’d share those words a thousand times, but they mean nothing now.

A lump sets awkwardly in the back of his throat as this thing begins blaring music setting the tone for the fight. It’s something he’s never heard of, yet the beat carries him on. It gives him something to go off - just like dancing back home. A small grin slowly creeps across his face, but it’s taken away in the blink of an eye. Blood gushes from a gaping hole in his arm. It’s running down his arm covering his hand. He wants to scream, to shout, to just find a way to let the pain escape his mind. For him, it’s not the worse pain he’s felt. His brother went through so much more. They suffered greatly, and he’s going to join four of them if he doesn’t get his act together.

Fiona charges slashing at the girl Oliver struck first beginning this entire thing. They’re fighting one another -

His attention left for a little too long, and he’s folding in on himself. The white shirt slowly turns a crimson red as blood leaks between his fingers. A waterfall flows from his eyes, and Faux isn’t sure what to do.

Oliver shouts.

Carmen responds rushing to his aid.

“I’ll be okay.” The words ring through his ears as he bites his lip trying to keep himself from falling over.

The world is spinning, and he’s fighting to keep the tether from snapping.

Carmen’s so brave for being such a tiny girl. She’s strong. She’s everything Faux wants to be, and she’s much younger. Some mature fast while others are lost in the midst of the storm of losing family members one after another. Sometimes he wants to see them, but this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. He yearns for a family. A child to call his own. A wife to spend all eternity with, yet they’re stealing it away from him.

His eyes lock on Quest for just a moment before shifting to the knife resting awkwardly in the palm of his hand. The idea is to survive this entire game, but how can someone win when they are so willing to die and not lose everything they believe in? Help me, Harbinger. I’m weak. I’m a failure.

A broken heart crashes against the ground as he lifts the bloody knife into the air.

This is one thing he doesn’t want to do, but for the sake of all the stray animals in eleven looking for a home, he lets the knife fall. Yet his bleeding heart cries harder making it hard to breathe.

Faux looks away and prays.

---

table by Kaplan
art credit: Kap's photoshop work

I'm more than willing to protect one of the youngest. While Faux took off to protect his ally from home, I felt compelled to do that with Oliver. I had looked back, but once the two girls stepped, or fell, off their contraption, it was Oliver I felt needed more protection. He ran in there like a crazy, without provocation and took a swing at the girl from a district I never knew. I didn't pay attention as I should have. Most of these tributes didn't have a name in my book because I knew death would take them. I learned from early on to never take a name and place it in your heart for fear that it would disappear in the flames of hurt. So, mistakenly, I took three names and one more that seemed to be the only ones that I held in my memories.

Three of them were my allies, one was being attacked right now from the forefront.

I tried to keep my sights ahead of myself. I watched as Oliver had ran first and I had hesitated, but I did what I had to. I stood in front of Oliver as their blades were the weapons of their choice. They chose to attack me for what Oliver had done. What he had started, in my own opinion but as his ally, I promised in my heart I would never leave him alone. I had the choice to follow Faux or Oliver - I chose wrong.

Even though fresh wounds stung my skin and the fight was still so evident in my needs, I heard Oliver scream toward Faux. He'll be alright. The older tributes usually were better at protecting themselves. What I failed to remember was that Faux was that gentle soul. From the first moment I met him, I knew there was something about him that I simply adored. Something about Faux wasn't like the rest of this place or the people around and I hated that he had to be reaped among the would-be killers that would gain experience in this place. I was ready for death, he wanted to prevent it all.

Something that Oliver screamed at Denali, he said her name. Her district was still so foreign to me though, made me want to laugh. It was Oliver's personality that made me enjoy him even more. Even with the ears on his head, he was ready to fight so valiently to protect and try to survive this hell. I can't blame him though.

In the quickest of moments, as Oliver attacked once more, I had to check on my allies. I needed to make sure they were fairing as well as we were. Our fight wasn't as bloody but a schoolyard scrap is all. However, crimson pools fell down Faux's arm and his stomach.

I ghosted. I felt the color drain from my face but as Faux's weapon lept toward his attackers, he missed. He rebounded.

He missed again...

"Faux?" I whispered out and watched in a blurred motion and listened as a bubble was placed over my head.

"WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST LEAVE US ALONE!"

Believe me, if it was up to me, we'd be walking away already. However the boy with the weapon in his hand moved. Just as my Glaive was fixing to take another slice toward the skin of the girl hurting me, It fell to my side. I watched in horror as the boy's spiked weapon collide with my Faux.

"Faux..." I couldn't find the movements to run. I couldn't find the voice to call out for him, but I was always told that crying never brought anyone back. So they didn't. Oliver could deal with the girls himself.

I ran. "Get away from him, boy! GET AWAY..." I lurched my weapon forward, missing him completely but it was the threat I gave him in whole. I picked the weapon up as I got closer to Faux's fallen state and held the weapon to both him and Quest, the only other person I had ever taken a name into my heart, for whatever reason I can't remember now.

"Quest.. How could you let him do that? I thought... I thought you were different." I begged of her and stood in front of Faux. My chest was pounding with hatred and dismay. "If you really want to attack someone it should have been me. Why didn't you attack me, Quest?" Anger flew from my mouth and somewhere beside me I could feel Carmen's eyes. I was not prepared for this, but it had to be done. "Carmen, run! Get Oliver and Go."

Sadness will come, but anger is better to feel, right?

[Fiona does not fight, but merely protects Faux]

---

table by Kaplan
art credit: Dina Pecci