Me And I Are Not Friends [kass and nell day 6]

nell cyprus

“You are not my enemy.” Kass’s shout is more hollow in my memory. More distant. I would be if you were smart, but no, the girl has proven herself more than capable. More than anyone could have expected.

She’s made top eight, after all.

Family interviews. Fuck.

Still atop the airlock, I watch the lights and willfully hate them. Their unending delight is nothing but torment, but that’s what I deserve. I bring destruction in my folly, leave death behind in each footstep. I am not a friend, or honest, or good. The wind howls at me, chapping cheeks hardened from tears. I shiver and pull my cloud coat tighter around my spacesuit. Is he going to tell them?

Maybe he already has.

ooo

I dig through my bag till I find something I thought I’d share with Sky, and with Dusty. I thought we’d laugh and eat and watch the sunset. Who the fuck was I kidding.

This is the Hunger Games. Not Nell Cyprus’s Best Friend Games.

Another beam of purple, another wave of green, and I spit out at the sky. I’m tucked inside the airlock door before my saliva touches the sea.

She’s here, too. Kassandra Nerys. She stands ahead, by the spacesuit cases. My eyes zone in to SPARK, but MARKHAM and HOPS are in my line of vision and I taste warm bile licking at the back of my throat. Dancing like the lights. I swallow hard and look down at what’s in my hand.

“Kass?” I call out, my tone uneven, hushed. “Would you … would you like some ice cream?” A bag of double fudge astronaut ice cream is extended between us. The closest thing to olive branch I can manage. She isn’t my enemy, either. I need her to know.

I take a deep breath. “We don’t have to be alone.”