Take This Weight of Mine [Cinder | HG Museum]

The pain of losing someone you care about to death's grasp never really goes away completely. It wasn't pain that brought me here, though. It wasn't the guilt of it all, either. The guilt of not volunteering in her place. No. It wasn't that. Instead, it was the joy of getting to see her again, at least in some way. Yes, I knew it was just a simulation, and not really her, but in a way, it was like I could have at least a piece of my friend back.

For once, Panem had done something that I liked. They had given the people of Panem the chance to interact with those that had been lost to the Games, at least in a sense. We could go to the Justice Building, call up the name of the tribute we wanted, and we could speak to them. They'd even speak back to us, simulating what may have been an actual conversation with them had they still been alive. It sounded too good to be true, but it was true.

I could see Ping again.

I signed in at the museum, and called up the simulation of who I wanted to see by speaking to the interface.

"Ping Lanhua, District Eleven female of the Seventy-Ninth, please," I said. I'm not sure why I said 'please' to a Capitol-created interface, but perhaps I was just in a good mood today.

In front of me, the image of Ping shimmered to life. She was just as I remembered her. Her dark hair and delicate features were there in front of me. I knew that a fierce personality lied beneath those delicate features, though. Most people didn't expect that from her, but she was strong. She was brave, and had she been given the chance to do so in the Games without having died so quickly, she would have shown them how amazing she was. Unfortunately, her life was taken far too quickly when that boy put a spear through her neck in the bloodbath at the Cornucopia.

Ping smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"Cinder, I've missed you!" she says to me.

"I've missed you, too, Ping. It's been far too long," I told her, a smile still wide upon my face. I wished I could hug her, but then I remembered that she was merely a hologram. That wouldn't work.

The smile on my face dropped a little bit, but not completely. As long as I saw her face, I didn't think my smile would really go away completely.

"We all miss you," I continued. "Merida, Moana, Punzie... all of us."

"They should come say hello," Ping said. "I miss all of you." She still carried a smile.

"Can I ask you a question?" I said to her.

"Of course." Ping nodded.

"You and Merida... you were a couple, I learned that, but... would you want her to move on? I haven't seen much of her in these past several years since you... left... and if she's still stuck in the past, I think it might be hurting her," I expressed to her.

"No one should linger in the past forever, Cinder," Ping told me. "Merida, just like the rest of you, should move on in life without letting me hold you back in the past."

I nodded, now realizing that my smile from before actually had faded from my face.

"I have one more question, Ping," I continued.

Ping stood there in her hologram form, and it seemed as if she were listening intently.

"Should I have taken your place that day?" It was a question I'd wished I could have asked Ping long ago. I always felt guilt for not having taken her place in the Games, but I was never able to express it to her. I was never able to ask her if it was something that I should feel guilty about.

Now I could at least get an idea of what she would have thought.

"Cinder, I would not have wanted you to volunteer for me," she said. It was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders right when she said that. "I fought to bring honor to my family, to my District, and to all of you. I could not have done that if you took my place, and I don't think I could have handled you dying in my place."

"Thank you, Ping." A tear streamed down my face. "Thank you."

I then ended the simulation.

Maybe now I could feel peace.