HAZE ROSE-IZAR // D11 FIN

( H A Z E ! )

She read the letter on her lunch break. 

The smell of honey stuck to her skin just like it sticks to anything else, Haze could barely focus over it. It was every damn day at this point and she was near sick of it - having it follow her home and stain her clothes and gloves. She put the keeper's mask down on the table before she was called up. It's usually just some dumb fuckin' work order half the time, some new rule change concerning her department. 

So Haze got up in a groan as she left her break table to make her way up a floor. "Next time, can't you just read it over the intercom for your girl, Heavensbee?" 

"You'd think- it's personal drop anyways." 

"HA," she let out an ugly laugh, turning on her heels as she ripped the letter open. She'd been waiting for it for a while, it had to be her grandma dropping off her higher education status. For a second she thought it would just be something regarding Nerys and the vineyard, a girl's never too young for a drink. 

She was certain for all of a half a flight of stairs when she saw her grandma's signature on the envelope, ripping it open with a stupid grin. Finally, it took what felt like-

"oh fuck." 

The five minute alarm pounded over head and she squinted trying to focus. A buzz louder than her normal swarm of bees, her eyes sticking to every word of the Bureau's letter. There's been an altercation with her database name as her family blah blah blah, she leaned over the metal stair railing. They say it's a deep sincerity when families are able to come together again and Haze feels hesitation in the way she swallows her spit. 

Celestine Haizea Rose-

Izar.

"Oh, mother FUCKER."

Congratulations, from Panem.

---

There was something close to disgust in her mouth as Haze stomped through the vineyard walking home that night. Heavensbee always kept her late and the mix of frustration and exhaustion held in her lungs. She didn't want to know. She didn't need to know that there was a father out there, not when she had already gone so long believing he was nothing but fucking dead. 

The fucking gall of it all burnt her alive, knuckles searing a white with the skateboard in her clutch. There was something dehumanizing about it all too in the way her mother signed that last name without any say so ahead of time. His last name. 

Part of her was tempted not to return home that night. 

Which wasn't something unusual, she dreamt about wandering away from the vineyard often, but fuck if it didn't hurt different this time. They found her father after sixteen years. He had found her, this was supposed to be a good thing, right? Panem itself fucking sent her a congratulations about it; it sat in the beehive trash can, sure, but it existed. Crumpled up and ruining her life and she hated it. 

That was something she was always awful with- change. 

Being out of control. 

It always seemed so hard for people just to do their fucking job and get on with the day. She found her seat on the back of her skateboard, laying down under the vineyard's lattice and looking up. To what, she had no clue, she hated how small it felt. The stars above her and the four letters on her name and the fact that- "how can they even do that." A mutter to herself, pity in its form as she clenched her teeth. 

Legally, she didn't even have to sign. Her mother never asked her and her grandparents never gave her a warning, only the letter at the break box. Haze couldn't find the spirit to get her ass up and go home; she couldn't risk opening that door and seeing a stranger named fuckhead Izar. She didn't want to know him, to know what the hell he's been up to. 

Hell, she didn't even want to know she was an Izar - that's a completely different bag of pissed off bees. 

She chewed on her caramel and thought into the sky.  

Well shit - can't wait for the family reunion.