bruises and blood [eugeo/nina]

The guilt of letting the Capitol take Alice away six years ago still eats away at me so heavily, every single day. Some days, it even turns into a form of anger: rage, really. Today was one of those days. I wanted to get back at the Peacekeepers, and I'd even managed to track down when one of the Peacekeepers who took Alice all those years ago would be on shift here in Six. His name was Jefferson Lorry, and I was determined to get back at him for what he'd done.

I wondered if he even remembered what happened that day. Whether or not he did, I certainly did. I would never forget that. I lost my best friend to the clutches of the Capitol as they cut out her tongue and sold her off as a Capitol slave. I've hated the Capitol my whole life, but that incident just reinforced my hatred. Every single day, I pray for rebellion, but it never seems to come.

I'd stolen a knife from a shop a few days ago with this exact task in mind: get revenge on Peacekeeper Jefferson Lorry. I feel guilty whenever I steal things, but it was a necessary evil sometimes. I didn't work a job, and most of the money that my father gave to us kids went to my older brothers. It wasn't exactly fair, and I was certainly jealous, but it was just how things were. If I wanted certain things, I often had to take them myself.

Making my way to the District Square where I knew Jefferson would be posted for the day after having studied his schedule for so long, I tried to act casual at first. I wandered about, glancing at him from time to time, and he didn't seem to take any notice of me. Honestly, he must not have been that efficient of a Peacekeeper, seeing as he seemed like he was zoned out in the moment.

I eventually passed behind him, getting close enough to make a move. I pulled my knife out and attempted to stab him in the back with it. It was fitting, seeing as Peacekeepers always seemed to stab the citizens of the Districts in the back in a more metaphorical way, anyway. Unfortunately, Peacekeepers must wear some sort of protective clothing, because I didn't stab hard enough to break through whatever the material he was wearing was. Although, he certainly felt it, because it immediately turned around, gun drawn and now pointed at my head.

He demanded to know what I was doing, and told me to drop the knife. I hated Peacekeepers, but I really didn't want to get shot, so I complied and dropped the knife. He grabbed me by the arm and started to drag me to the center of the square. I was tied to a post, and my body started to shake.

I knew what was coming.

"Please, no!" I yelled at him. It didn't matter, though. He ripped my shirt away to expose my flesh to the world, and although I couldn't see what was about to happen behind me, I knew. This was a whipping. A flogging. A lashing. A punishment.

I was terrified.

The first lash of the whip meeting my skin was horrendous, but it only got worse. I let out a yell when it connected with my flesh. He hit me with the whip again and again, and I weakly begged him to stop.

"Please, stop... please... no more..." I begged.

My voice was weak and shaking, so I wasn't sure he even heard me. Then again, Peacekeepers never really cared, either. I just wanted this to all be over with. The sting of the whip continued to meet my back, and I'm not even sure how many times he hit me. I could feel the blood trickling down me, and I couldn't stop it.

I eventually started to collapse, unable to hold myself up any longer. I lay draped against the post, my hands still tied to it with absolutely no options of what to do. I felt like I was going to fade into nothingness when the whip eventually stopped hitting me. I could hear conversation behind me, but I couldn't make out what was being said. The best guess I had was that it was two Peacekeepers talking to one another, because they eventually came over to untie me. When they released me, I collapsed to the ground and lay there, unable to get myself up.

Was all of this worth it, for Alice? I hadn't even managed to get my vengeance on the Peacekeeper. Would she be proud of me for having tried? I supposed I'd never know.

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777 words