ares fawcett d4 wip.

Athena might get a kick outta calling me Hades' bitch boy, but she doesn't understand what it's like to be an underdog.

School knew the second I walked in I didn't stand a chance in that kind of shadow. Child genius and her angry little brother, I don't know why I bothered. I was better at picking fights on the playground and stealing shit from lockers than any math test they coulda put in front of me.

I don't need smarts to be great, just took me a while to realise it. I can read well enough to know right from wrong and still consciously choose the latter. What teachers failed to see, Hades saw. Visited the fight rings and said he had a job for me, and I liked the sound of money. Said I had to be sober, I took my price down, he scratched that out and wrote 'sober-ish' and we called it a deal.

He knows I fight better with a drink in me anyway. 

The real gut-punch is that Athena could have vouched for me. We could have been working together, not at odds with each-other. That's what siblings are for, right? Blood is thicker than water unless you're from Four. We understand that nobody defeats the ocean. She's too unforgiving.

Maybe the ocean and my sister have more in common that I thought.

Putting my brotherly love in this gang though, figured it was best to channel the occasional tender moment I have into the people who actually want me around. Hades' is what I suppose you'd call a best friend. I've got to have his back because I'm paid to do so, but it's deeper than that. I feel like I owe it to him. He invested in me, I gotta invest in him. Won't ever say it to his face, but I'd take a bullet for that fucker for a penny any day.

Hestia, now there's a tender spot in this angry heart of mine. We both care so damn much and rip our hearts off of our sleeves, she stitches me back up and sews it right back on. Kiss her on the side of her cheek and I want to linger there for a moment longer, tell her I ain't an asshole always. I just want to keep her safe. She's too valuable to us. Too valuable to me.

Fuck, I don't know. We protect each other, in our own fucked up ways. I come around and loiter just for her company, poke the bear to see how she reacts. I need her more than she needs me, unspoken rule in this circle of comrades. Won't ever muster up the courage to tell any of them, but I care about them.

Not because I don't want to. It's 'cause I don't know how. Bruised ego from a sister, bruised knuckles for a brother, I know how to fight and got no clue how to do the opposite. I am an Aries sun, after all, Aries mars to boot. But I got a scorpio moon, cancer rising, gemini mercury -- you do the math. There's a person underneath all this rage. Not sure how to pry him out, but he's there.

Trouble is anytime someone gets close I freeze, walls-up, or clobber them in the face 'til they're black and blue.