Round One - Yellow

I can hear the ocean in my ears, but it is on memory and not on feeling. A part of me wished that I could have died in the water, at least then, it would have been easier for me to drift away. I could barely breath at this point, and I think that this is the closest to drowning I would ever be.

I am able to hear Ruth through the waves crashing in my ear, and I cant help but smile even though I am in excruciating pain. I want to laugh, but I only manage a smile. "Thats what I hope for." I say sporadically through heavy breathing. "If thats the case, then I guess ill be gone before she is." I give a somber expression instead of one that is hopeful. I am on borrowed time.

I can feel it.

Ruth explains that she is not the best fit for anything in life. She mentions religion, but I am not phased. I dont think she completely buys into it, and I do not blame. After all, what kind of God would make a child struggle without his parents? Even more so, what kind of god would let something like the hunger games take place. Its laughable, but I do not participate in the action, mostly because I cannot breathe.

"I think believing in yourself is the only thing you have left in here Ruth." I try to reassure her, realizing that this conversation has been the single most intimate thing I had participated in in years. It had been all work, and no time to just stop. It was a shame that I had to be on the verge of death to experience this. My hands are tired, and they do not move over the spear, a part of me wanting to take one last jab at her because I am not one to be trusted. "Do you trust yourself Ruth?"

I have a hard time comprehending exactly what she means, but the blood is still running out of my wounds. "Living a life that puts yourself before anyone else, sounds like a life worth living." I know this all too well myself. "Its funny, I dont think I ever told you my name." I am weak but I think I can at least give her this little bit of info. "Alexson." I say with more effort than I wanted to admit. "But you can call me Alex." I smile, "I hope you make it out of here, and I hope you get to open that little cafe just for yourself." I hold my hand out to hers and squeeze it. "Do everything for yourself Ruth. Not for anyone else."

I look at her with soft eyes as I motion to her spear. "Just a little bit longer, and then you can finish me off."

My last wish.