Harbinger Rhodes D11 Dec 17, 2014 0:58:59 GMT -5
Post by Liara Arterius D2f [Cato] on Dec 17, 2014 0:58:59 GMT -5
Name: Harbinger Rhodes
Family: Crusader (half brother)
Kay has dibs when this is done
My looks. Let me see here. I'm tall, not quite as tall as my half brother, Crusader, but I'm up there. I'm approximately six foot six inches tall. Just an inch shorter if that counts. I can't compare myself to him, though. I'm not nearly as dark completed as he is, in fact, I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I'm close to being a slightly tan piece of paper. I'm a big guy, but I'm not fat. I'm just large framed. Anyway, I have a kind of round face with a prominent jawline and a slightly pointed chin. Above my eyes sits slightly bushy eyebrows. My eyes are brown, and they are shaped like an almond. I have a large pointed nose that's kind of crooked, but not too bad, and my lips are tiny. Well, the top lip is tiny, the bottom one is kind of large.
I don't have much hair, but I have some, and it's dark blonde in color. Usually it pokes straight up, but I kind of like it that way. I have more hair on the top of my head than I do the sides, and I have no facial hair. I don't know why, but it seems like I'm unable to grow any. My voice is deep when I speak. I hope it matches me, but I'm not entirely sure. I'm more of a muscular man, but when it comes to running, I can run short distances better than I can long distances. When I was younger, I wrestled with Crusader a lot. One day we in particular we were out having fun just wrestling away when he hit my knee the wrong way. I felt something pop, and I couldn't put pressure on it for the longest time. Now my knee messes up a lot and it feels very unstable when moving, and sometimes I'm worried it'll mess up like it was before.
Sometimes when I'm alone, I see and hear Crusader. It's like he's standing right beside me. Talking to me, and it's in that moment I find peace. It's like he visits me late at night when everyone is sleeping. He's not the only one who visits me. Mom shows up many nights. I don't even know how long it's been. She visited a lot, and then he died, and now he shows the most. I see him during the day, but I put on a front. Nobody can know what goes on inside my body, yet a war rages on inside my brain. It's strange because I know he's dead. I know he's gone, but accepting it would keep him from visiting me.
It's been rough through life. I try being honest with others, but sometimes I feel like I'm a little too honest, and I hurt those I'm near because in all reality, I prefer being alone with my thoughts pretending he's alive. I miss my mom, but her death kept us alive where his death was completely unnecessary, and I just can't stand being around people. Crusader runs away from me when I'm in a group of people. He doesn't like being there, and all I want is for him to return. I know he's gone. I heard his cannon sound, but for now it's me and him living in the same body. I don't care what others say. I don't care if my honesty hurts them. Well, I do, but I wish they'd just leave me alone.
Before I was with people all the time. I had friends. I had people I cared about. I loved being around others, but now I don't. I lost the ability to communicate my words freely. I lost the passion for being around others. Maybe having a friend would help me. Maybe having someone standing by my side other than him and mom would make this journey so much easier, yet I don't know. I'm lonely, but I've done it to myself. I pushed everyone away, and now I'm alone with my thoughts, with him, just like I wanted. Maybe I was wrong in thinking this was right. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does. Life has one purpose, and that one purpose for me was shattering the heart of stone hidden behind my chest. It took a lot for it to succeed, but it did the moment he died, and now I'm all alone just like I wanted.
Crusader and I were bros. We had the same mom, but different dads. It didn't matter, though, because we were brothers. I spent a lot of time with him, and we were inseparable. I was always learning from him, and how he was able to help people. It always amazed me that he would stop what he was doing to help someone. Whether it involved healing someone in need, or hugging a crying child. I loved his protector side. Sometimes I wanted to be like that, but I'm different than him, yet it doesn't matter. I learned from him more than anyone could ever imagine.
Crusader tried to teach me plants and what they were all used for, but I never was interested. I was more interested in the healing process. I enjoyed bandaging wounds or trying to help people. He would bring the plants, and I would use them to heal. Burn victims were the worse to deal with. The pain they were in was the worse, and I can't do anything about it. It made me feel bad. But I tried. Got to do what I got to do. Its not to say plants didn't interest me. Knowing about the uses of each one was fascinating, but I wanted to put that knowledge to good use.
Everything changed after he died. Helping people seems so much harder than it used to. Having him by my side gave me confidence. Now when I walk around attempting to help me there's this empty pit in my heart. I miss him and everything he did to help me. I try to help me nowadays, but I'm losing motivation. He would want me to help, but I try. I do the best I can, yet I never feel it's enough. Nothing is ever enough. It was easier when he was by my side. He knew what to do and I did too, but now I feel lost. And alone. I've lived on without him I had to, but a big part of my life is missing.