we should totally just stab caesar // plastics. day 1

"-solutely ridiculous! They literally just fucking turned and left right after we teamed up, Elvena, like who does that? Who fucking promi-"

I don't think I've stopped talking long enough to even breathe since leaving the bloodbath. Lucky for me, Elvena is either unbothered by my ranting, or uninterested by it. Either way, it's at least allowed me to vent my feelings for long enough that by the time I catch sight of Mer and Kiko, I'm at least able to refrain from literally slapping them in their faces. But whatever, I'm still not happy with either of them, and now I'm going to do my very best to make it abundantly clear. Call me petty. I don't care. You know why? Because the reason plans work, the reason systems function is because every little piece does its part as instructed. Looking at Mer, looking at Kiko, neither of them seem any worse off than me. Elvena ended up suffering from their temporary lapses in sanity the most, but even she doesn't seem so broken that she wouldn't have been able to keep pushing.

"Well, took you two long enough," Mer smarts. My mouth is open and speaking before I even know to reply.

"Fuck you," and then I look at Kiko as well, "And fuck you too. You're both on my list for the time being."

We're all standing within the mouth of the cathedral, haunted and silent and eerie. There's a fountain, large and ornate, spouting a viscus, deep red liquid. When I first finally notice it, I feel myself slipping into a sort of trance. My mouth begins watering again, I can feel my pulse quickening. What little light has made its way through the stained glass windows hurts my eyes. They definitely drugged me with something, and while part of me is absolutely disgusted by the fact that I just got an appetite from looking at a god damn blood fountain, there is a growing part of me which knows the only way to stop the feelings would be to... you know...

I can't even bring myself to say it.

I'm so distracted by the gentle crimson spray, pouring over the edges and into a small stream headed out the door that I almost don't recognize the dead human body on display. It's a tribute- the boy from 3 who wore those tacky goggles in the parade. He's dead.

"What do you think he did to end up there?" Kiko asks.

I clear my throat.

"I dunno Kiko, maybe the rest of his alliance flaked on him and he got jumped."

I hold on to the anger I'm feeling for my allies because it's strong enough to distract me from what I might have done had I spent another moment reveling in the fact that, standing this close to the boy, I can feel his body heat and it makes me feel hungry.

"We stay together from now on. This only works if all four of us are fucking in it. Understand?"

When no one immediately speaks, I clap my hands together, motioning for the girls to circle around Erwin's body. I don't know why I'm doing this, and I realize too late that the voice I'm listening to in my head is the same one telling me that this dead boy's blood is probably still sweet from all the Capitol food he's eaten. Oh well. I pull out one of my cross bolts and prick my finger with it. A pearl of red beads up to the surface.

"Now all of you," I say, handing off the bolt to Elvena.

"We are taking a vow of sisterhood- stat. My friends and I used to do it all the time."

We, of course, were twelve and pricking ourselves with sewing needles in the back yard in my friend Jenna's treehouse, and it was to squash some boy-crush drama that's too irrelevant to matter now. But still. It's a lot harder to betray someone when you know, somewhere inside you, a piece of them is always there, forevermore a piece of you instead. Or at least it should be harder. Blood sisters: a forever kind of deal, incidentally, and maybe that's why I feel such a rush about it. Everything for the past few weeks has felt so impermanent, having something so final makes things feel... I don't know, hopeful again or something. Plus, there's cameras around so I decide to make it a full performance.

"Trust, honor, respect, solidarity-" my eyes cut meanly to Mer and Kiko- "and secrecy. These be the tenants of our sisterhood."

I take the hands of those closest to me so that we form a circle around the dead body.

"Okay, repeat after me: We offer this flesh in exchange for the ties that bind. Forever more, I am yours... You are mine. Sisters until the end of time."