bury me — r&v / in every universe
Jul 14, 2024 0:17:20 GMT -5
Post by tick 12a / calla on Jul 14, 2024 0:17:20 GMT -5
Weird how the smoke makes him feel better, almost immediately.
You never notice how tight the spiral is until it starts to unspool. Everything rolls back like the tape in a cassette, little pocket of nicotine cloud stuck on the inside of his cheek, back of his throat, it lifts that weight settled over his eyes. Each hit’s like snapping a lock.
That’s probably not a good thing, Mat had said
Well, tell that to the FDA.
It’s so awkward walking back in. The lining of his jacket's filled with candy foils and he's acutely aware of Vin behind him, the girls over there, Steven glancing at the swinging door forlornly.
Roe gets it. He wants to bolt too. He keeps pretending like he wasn’t thinking about it though, keeps acting like even if Vin hadn’t followed him out, he'd still be walking back in. He wouldn't have have run. He’s better than that.
Vin went with him though.
And see, that’s the difference.
See.
They're tied with the lighter, they walked away from the table out of their own volition. Roe didn't do shit this time. Not his fault. Antigone's glaring at the sugar canister when Roe slides in beside her again. Vin's cheeks are pink from the cold.
Not his fault.
Arcadia touches them as they settle, palm on the side of their face.
And. Funny thing. Funny to stare at them both as she does it. Roe would bet his entire life savings that she doesn’t know they've touched him that exact same way. They've held his jaw even softer. Gotten his blood under their nails.
And even after that. Even still. Their fingers curled around his wrist, them pulling him, the feel of their knuckles against his chin, their fist malleable in his fist.
How would she react to that.
When Vin pours the syrup, is that a twitch in her face that he catches, or is it just a trick of the light.
It’s worse than that, he wants to tell her, you wouldn’t be able to imagine it, you can’t.
He’s almost kissed them twice now. Maybe he should bring that up. Maybe she’d cry. Actually, call it a night, maybe they’d all start crying. Maybe that's what they need.
His entire body feels like it's buzzing as the silverware starts to clatter. They've got the heat on in the dining room, and the sun coming in through the window makes it worse. The Paul Simon on the radio is just a little bit too loud. There's an awful sort of energy emanating from Roe as Antigone talks about the band, as Vin looks away, as Arcadia covers for them.
Their parents love me, she says.
And sometimes he wonders if Mrs. Forrester ever ended up asking about that nice young man who picked Vin up for Youth that one Halloween. What is he up to. He was so charming.
That’s the night he gave Vin his lighter. It’s almost like an anniversary.
Maybe Vin had to tell her that he was suddenly called away on missionary work and now he’s running a group in Utah. Land of the doomsday preppers.
“Lying’s a sin, you know.”
He says it very seriously. Astutely. Arcadia’s not such a perfect princess after all. He says that too. Shoves an entire half of a pancake into his mouth.
And then, more casual, “Your mom seemed to like me.” He says, running the fork tines back through the syrup.
Maybe he should reintroduce himself. He'll wear that Crüe shirt, the one with the cover of the first album, the close up shot of Vince Neil's crotch in laced up leathers.
Yeah, Utah didn't really work out. They've got a crazy number of devil-worshippers over there, they're all listening to Joan Jett, it's nuts, way too much for the Evangelist public sphere to handle. By the way, is Vin home. He needs to kiss them.
What's the worst that could happen.
Arcadia's brother. A June wedding. Christ’s sake. "Didn't think that kind of union was legal in Indiana."
“Roe.”
That’s Antigone. Sharp, disapproving. There's a beat, and then she's picking back up to Halloween, complaining to Arcadia that Roe lost part of her Madonna costume when he disappeared.
And he's real tired of hearing about that, actually.
If the entire world just forgot about that night, it would be fine. It would be great. Mateo's down a great job of moving on, so why the hell is it such a big deal for everyone else.
Antigone's got her chin in her hand now, and she's saying that Roe promised he would teach her how to play the bass that night, and that he still hasn't paid up. It's been four months. But she thinks it would be romantic. His arms wrapped around her like that, helping her set her fingers on the frets. She leans over to bump his shoulder. He won't look up from the plate.
Would she cry too, if Roe told everyone how badly he had wanted to kiss Vin. Not even once. Not even twice. Multiple times.
“Didn’t lose it.”
She turns to look at him.
”The belt. I didn’t lose it, it’s in Lansdale.”
He cuts into the pancake again. The knife makes a horrible screeching sound on the plate.
Antigone sounds baffled, she looks to Arcadia, then back at Roe, “You went to Lansdale?”
A slice again. Roe doesn’t say anything, just makes a noise of agreement.
”Why?”
To cheat on you. To try and walk off the tequila. To try and stop thinking about the damn angel wings.
The fork slams down. Knife follows. ”Why do you care?”
“You’re the one who brought it up.”
Arcadia's head swivels like she's watching a tennis match.
Terrible, terrible energy. Roe throws back the volley and they keep going at it until the lady in the booth behind them actually turns around to see what the fuss is.
That was mean, Vin said.
Could've been meaner.
You never notice how tight the spiral is until it starts to unspool. Everything rolls back like the tape in a cassette, little pocket of nicotine cloud stuck on the inside of his cheek, back of his throat, it lifts that weight settled over his eyes. Each hit’s like snapping a lock.
That’s probably not a good thing, Mat had said
Well, tell that to the FDA.
It’s so awkward walking back in. The lining of his jacket's filled with candy foils and he's acutely aware of Vin behind him, the girls over there, Steven glancing at the swinging door forlornly.
Roe gets it. He wants to bolt too. He keeps pretending like he wasn’t thinking about it though, keeps acting like even if Vin hadn’t followed him out, he'd still be walking back in. He wouldn't have have run. He’s better than that.
Vin went with him though.
And see, that’s the difference.
See.
They're tied with the lighter, they walked away from the table out of their own volition. Roe didn't do shit this time. Not his fault. Antigone's glaring at the sugar canister when Roe slides in beside her again. Vin's cheeks are pink from the cold.
Not his fault.
Arcadia touches them as they settle, palm on the side of their face.
And. Funny thing. Funny to stare at them both as she does it. Roe would bet his entire life savings that she doesn’t know they've touched him that exact same way. They've held his jaw even softer. Gotten his blood under their nails.
And even after that. Even still. Their fingers curled around his wrist, them pulling him, the feel of their knuckles against his chin, their fist malleable in his fist.
How would she react to that.
When Vin pours the syrup, is that a twitch in her face that he catches, or is it just a trick of the light.
It’s worse than that, he wants to tell her, you wouldn’t be able to imagine it, you can’t.
He’s almost kissed them twice now. Maybe he should bring that up. Maybe she’d cry. Actually, call it a night, maybe they’d all start crying. Maybe that's what they need.
His entire body feels like it's buzzing as the silverware starts to clatter. They've got the heat on in the dining room, and the sun coming in through the window makes it worse. The Paul Simon on the radio is just a little bit too loud. There's an awful sort of energy emanating from Roe as Antigone talks about the band, as Vin looks away, as Arcadia covers for them.
Their parents love me, she says.
And sometimes he wonders if Mrs. Forrester ever ended up asking about that nice young man who picked Vin up for Youth that one Halloween. What is he up to. He was so charming.
That’s the night he gave Vin his lighter. It’s almost like an anniversary.
Maybe Vin had to tell her that he was suddenly called away on missionary work and now he’s running a group in Utah. Land of the doomsday preppers.
“Lying’s a sin, you know.”
He says it very seriously. Astutely. Arcadia’s not such a perfect princess after all. He says that too. Shoves an entire half of a pancake into his mouth.
And then, more casual, “Your mom seemed to like me.” He says, running the fork tines back through the syrup.
Maybe he should reintroduce himself. He'll wear that Crüe shirt, the one with the cover of the first album, the close up shot of Vince Neil's crotch in laced up leathers.
Yeah, Utah didn't really work out. They've got a crazy number of devil-worshippers over there, they're all listening to Joan Jett, it's nuts, way too much for the Evangelist public sphere to handle. By the way, is Vin home. He needs to kiss them.
What's the worst that could happen.
Arcadia's brother. A June wedding. Christ’s sake. "Didn't think that kind of union was legal in Indiana."
“Roe.”
That’s Antigone. Sharp, disapproving. There's a beat, and then she's picking back up to Halloween, complaining to Arcadia that Roe lost part of her Madonna costume when he disappeared.
And he's real tired of hearing about that, actually.
If the entire world just forgot about that night, it would be fine. It would be great. Mateo's down a great job of moving on, so why the hell is it such a big deal for everyone else.
Antigone's got her chin in her hand now, and she's saying that Roe promised he would teach her how to play the bass that night, and that he still hasn't paid up. It's been four months. But she thinks it would be romantic. His arms wrapped around her like that, helping her set her fingers on the frets. She leans over to bump his shoulder. He won't look up from the plate.
Would she cry too, if Roe told everyone how badly he had wanted to kiss Vin. Not even once. Not even twice. Multiple times.
“Didn’t lose it.”
She turns to look at him.
”The belt. I didn’t lose it, it’s in Lansdale.”
He cuts into the pancake again. The knife makes a horrible screeching sound on the plate.
Antigone sounds baffled, she looks to Arcadia, then back at Roe, “You went to Lansdale?”
A slice again. Roe doesn’t say anything, just makes a noise of agreement.
”Why?”
To cheat on you. To try and walk off the tequila. To try and stop thinking about the damn angel wings.
The fork slams down. Knife follows. ”Why do you care?”
“You’re the one who brought it up.”
Arcadia's head swivels like she's watching a tennis match.
Terrible, terrible energy. Roe throws back the volley and they keep going at it until the lady in the booth behind them actually turns around to see what the fuss is.
That was mean, Vin said.
Could've been meaner.
