benson sharpe | three [fin]

It's an unspoken rule in the house.

You don't talk about the countless of secrets hidden in the dark rooms of the Sharpe Manor. Locked away beneath the shadows of night; stars glittering out against the soft walls where awards reside against the shelves. Sharpe. Contrasting lines of film spread out against the walls, framed into perfect stills of Panem's heroes and heroines. Smiles plastered onto face of the dozens of individuals who became the perfect image of what's after the horror. Benedict Sharpe's name engraved into plaques of renown; a storyteller in his prime. A perfect crime to be snuck underneath all the chaos of a nation destined to struggle. Only, these weren't the secrets hidden beneath the shadows.

Every night, it happens the same way. The sounds of footsteps along marbled tiles, a sound of drunken laughs and happy giggles. It ends the same every time, clothes left along the hall where another cleans them up every morning. A poor choice given the familial portrait hanging above the entryway in the Sharpe Manor. A husband, a wife, and their four children. The world doesn't quite know the secrets behind their pretty faces; even Benson Sharpe couldn't tell where the lines crossed. Love doesn't sit in the walls of his home. There's never been any love. Her guiding hand having retracted after the first I do's sent through the mantle.

Born to see his parents, relentlessly finding another body to entertain their hunger, their ambition, and their fun. He never blames them. It's not his life. What more could he do? Always just a child who's had to rely on himself for everything. The rich only get richer; a dance between watching the light fade from his mother's beautiful eyes and the gray hairs starting to set into his father's beard. Ironic given the films his father creates and the emotions his mother portrays. Faker than their identities, he's seen the way fame changes.

Secrets.

A secret of his own set into the walls of their home; he's no different than the people meant to raise him. Benedict Sharpe's second youngest son. A name meant to show he belongs to his parents; Benson, the son of Ben. Priscilla Sharpe's second youngest son. A perfect image of her beauty with his father's mind. Despite everything, Benson carried their same ambition, their same desire to find someone, and their love of artistry. Not quite the same way as his parents, but he's dabbled in their fields. Smiled for a camera or two. Filmed a scene or two.

I never want to be unsatisfied like them.

Words whispered to himself; a dancing of a vision in his head. Unable to discern the reality from the fantasy; he just wanted to be loved. Loved in a way that his parents had never found, that his siblings don't talk about. "Lover boy," whispered by his older brother. Always directed towards him. Always carrying a heart stitched to his own, wondering if they'll stitch together correctly this time.

A first love doesn't die. The warning given by his mother; she whispered it the day he went to school as a gangly preteen. Teeth covered in braces, a smile too big and too innocent to understand what his mother had spoken in the morning chill. The smell of sweet autumn leaves dancing along the air; a girl with beautiful red hair tied up staring with friendly eyes. Freckles dancing along her cheeks, Benson had sworn his heart stopped on that street corner. Aria. A girl who'd smiled his way on the first day of school. Love at first sight. Sworn it on the tip of his tongue that night when his brother asked about school.

Too young to understand why his heart hurt. Palms sweating with nerves as he stepped up to her doorstep for a study session with a bouquet of flowers; too expensive of a gift. Flowers haven't bloomed in Three since before the dark days, but he'd splurged with his mother's permission. Her laugh echoing along his ears. "My sweet Benson, in love after one glance." Aria's pretty eyes having smiled brighter at the sight, smelling the aroma. It'd been easy. Two preteens growing up, learning that the world was much bigger than they'd thought.

Evenings spent playing silly games as children, smiling down from the remaining trees they've climbed. Trips out to the junkyard to help her collect robotic parts for the robotic competitions. Small films his father had set up for them to watch and giggle over. Everything had been a simple ease. Too many whispered secrets sent through one another's ears; sounds left along the hollows of his ears. Too many days he spends reminiscing of the ease that came with those days. A kiss spent at his first dance of the year, having struck up the nerve to ask her to dance. The first of a few.

Unfortunately, Benson Sharpe was his father's son. Braces having straightened out his teeth, a perfect smile and the year starting to remove his lankiness and setting into his body. Aria had been all he'd wanted. Sworn he would marry her, except he was young. Too young to understand where the ease had disappeared. A world rocked by the smooth and ever more interesting Pixel. Short blond hair, bright eyes, and a sense of style that he's only seen a handful of people pull off. "You could do so much better than her, Sharpe." Words shoved towards him as her eyes glare at him, face in his space. Lockers pressed against his back, he couldn't feel his heart. Breath stopped as he stared in awe.

Aria had screamed at him. Heartbreak too much. Their words thrown across the end of a evening caught up in personal space. A whisper of a different name, she'd pushed him off the couch. Sent Benson spiraling off, lost on how he'd messed up. "Don't you get it!" The shaking of his head is involuntary as he stares at her with wide eyes. "Of course you don't... why would you? Why her?" Tears in her eyes, he can remember the way he used to stare at those irises and spin worlds of a future with her, but there's no glimmer anymore. Instead, he can only feel his voice stuttering, desperate for an answer. "She means nothing to me. I-I promise! I just... I dunno, she's cool." It ends there. A first love slammed behind a door, tear filled night where he stared at the ceilings wondering if he could figured out the puzzle of his own mind.

Pixel's the next, a sort of secret shared between them. A story of two rivals in class finding places between the stairwell where Aria still lingers; her eyes never quite leaving his memories. A fade vision disappearing behind frustrating lips. Pixel's all fire; a rivalry between their desire to being top of the class. It's a secret hidden between sheets and his first year of high school where he can hear her telling him to shut up. Perhaps he was always a lover first, a man who wanted to be someone better, but he never could quite get it right. Their whirlwind of a relationship lasts only for a couple of months. Pixel's interests having found a senior who's got awards for sprinting. It ends in a dull extinguishing of a flame, but Benson finds out he doesn't mind. Their futures were never meant to be tied together.

Names seem to be added to his notches; whispers of secrets set through his room where he can still hear Luna who'd taught him how to ask for what he wants. Many nights spent between buildings, laughing over the manatomy of life. Luna finds Stella and it's over just like that. Serena is next; almost loving his family's money too much. She pushes him and pushes him to continue to give. It's a fury of frustration, but he's too young to know when to break things off. It ends in a flurry of screams in the middle of the school, she slaps him in front of the whole school. Benson Sharpe becomes known as the heartbreaker of the freshman class. A title he lives by for the next few months, dating and dumping girls who don't bring back that spark he's been missing.

At the end of the year is the first time he discovers a new spark; something he never expected. Taking up a project with his father, he meets Sebastian Crowe. Otherwise known as Buzz, his first romance outside of school. It's a summer of filming a promotional video for the new event for the Capitol. Buzz is everything he always dreamed of being in school. Masculine in a way that makes him feel protected, Benson can only smile around him. Dumbfounded by the feeling, they spend that summer in one another's space. Laughter and games spread out between them, Benson could remember the way his heart had sputtered up at the pats on his shoulder. The gentle fingers reaching out to pull him to some cool rubble somewhere by the outskirts of Three. Everything comes to a head with the final party of the promotional video.

Lost in the mixture of two glasses of whatever's taken the punch bowl, he watches Buzz who's got dark short hair and dark eyes staring at him across the way. Arms tensed in a way that Ben can tell is desire. Desperate to reach out to him and so Ben moves. Ever so calm and ever so confident, fingers splayed on biceps as he speaks out to Buzz. "C'mon. Dance with me." It spurs from the swaying of hips and a low light room, eventually the heat gets to them. Buzz seems to stare at him with those curious eyes, a storm brewing behind them. Lips meet on the dance floor and a spur of fear sets in them both. Struck by lightning, they separate as if shocked by the other's presence.

Confusion setting in as Ben chases down Buzz, heading towards the upstairs where Buzz keeps him at a distance. A conversation that lasts for too long spread between them. Emotions splayed out in the small ghosts of touches until there's nothing left, but admission. Everything heats up; the morning is left with clothes thrown about and the two of them in bed. Marks along their bodies, a headache shared between them. All of this lasts for only a couple more weeks. Secrets spread out along the quickness of discovery. Understanding himself, Ben becomes comfortable in his skin. Buzz still lingers around the edges of his vision when it ends. A boy who couldn't handle the pressure. Benson understood, but it'd hurt. Enough tears spent for the summer to end and the next year to begin.

"Dude. You don't need anyone. Where's mister heartbreaker gone?" The words of his older brother having spent too many days in his head. Too many days he'd spent changing for other people, but his brother had always been right. That year he swore to find himself fully. Swearing off love for a year had been ridiculous, but he'd gotten back into reading. Come up with a number of small films himself that he'd given to his father to submit under his father's name. That year had been all about him. Clubs for filming and photography added to his list of accomplishments. An award for photography under his grasp. Finding passion for the sport of wrestling. The number of notches on his bed growing with every day, he forgets about his fantasy of a wonderful whirlwind love and the perfect future. Two people together forever and ever. A childish dream.

Only, Axis seems to break his gaze. A boy just as strong as him, he pushes against his limits. Wrestling together, Ben can't get him out of his mind. "Pretty faces mean nothing here, Benny boy." Sprawled on his ass, he can't remember the words on his lips. All he could feel was the warm hands helping him up. The blush on his cheeks as Axis seemed to only push more and more. It's a slow fall. Days spent wrestling, hanging out at clubs, and after school meet ups at eachother's houses. Axis isn't rich like the Sharpes, but Ben didn't mind. All he cared about was the way he made him feel.

Lost in the work of some science assignment, he can't help the way he stares in awe at Axis. The first move is there, under the guise of science. Ben can't help the way his heart finally sputters to life. Lips meet in a surprise, but Axis doesn't move. Instead, he rises. Afterwards, it's a sprawling of date nights. A laughter in the air that's too easy. Memories of how it used to be with Aria filling his mind, but he finds himself forgetting everyone else. All that's there is Axis. It's a beautiful mixture of ease and excitement. School becomes enjoyable. Life seems to be easier. He forgets about the dozen of women and men his mother and father bring back searching for their love.

Only, it'd been way too easy. Everything ends in heartbreak. Whispers across the room, behind the lockers. Axis finds a girl, someone he's known for a long time. The two of them meet up behind the lockers; a kiss shared in front of the school. Word spreads to him through the populace; it ruins his heart. The first confrontation happens on the streets outside of the school. He begs for some sort of truth, some sort of comfort, but it never comes. "There's nothing between us, Ben. You don't have to worry. It was a dumb mistake." And he believes him. Pathetically, he believes every word. Only, it continues to happen in that cycle.

A kiss, a party, a secret. Strung along by pretty words and strung up kisses, Ben follows and follows. Loses himself in the pain, lets his heart ache with pain. It ends in a blowout. Axis ditches him at a party, only for Ben to go upstairs to find him with her. A fight ensues. Anger blindingly so. Everything ends with a black eye and a bloodied lip. He quits the wrestling team. Finds a world that seems uniquely new after spending too long in the pain.

Junior year becomes a whirlwind of small romances. Kyle; too needy. Renae, too boring. Pewter, too pretty. Heathcliff, too rich. Awards for his photography come in. His name begins to become known more across Three as his body begins to finally settle into his looks. Workouts finally leading to him feeling comfortable and confident. Too many days spent learning, growing, and living. Only, he continues to be reminded of the fact he's a kid still. Caught in the desire to wanting to make a name for himself, but also wanting to be liked by others. Kind. That's what people call him, even with the rumors of his heartbreaking tendencies.

Only a number of years spent in Panem, he learns the signs of his father's work. People growing more comfortable with the reality of the world. Media spreads and he knew how it changed people. At Eighteen, he knew there was only one more year before he could start to take over his father's legacy and be someone greater than him. Love long forgotten, but always lurking there. Every year, he's been told he's safe from this event the Capitol calls The Hunger Games. His father having been too important to the work of getting the districts to obey. Perhaps it's why he'd spent his morning with Grant underneath his sheets, a long night of happiness and a whirlwind romance starting to become more than just a fling.

Secrets hidden beneath the walls.

He was his parents' child.

The world loved to throw a wrench into his plans always.

"Benson Sharpe!"

Just like a star, the glimmer dulls.