smile like you mean it / day 4 [d/wt/e]

For a while, I don't understand what's happening or where I'm going anymore. My body is heavy, my mind is racing, my body feels like it isn't my own, but I force myself to stand. I force myself to keep going because I want to live and not die, yet death is inevitable. We all will die eventually, and I try my best to understand it'll happen, but even then, I don't know if I can hold onto it out of fear and anxiety. I look around trying to stay focused, but even then, it seems almost impossible, and maybe that's why I'm struggling.

It's frustrating in a way, but here I am fighting for my life unable to do much of anything. It's terrifying, and I would never mention that for anyone else to hear because even then, I don't want anyone to know I'm afraid, so I push the thoughts away the best that I can fight for my life. I used to think being in the hunger games would be somewhat exciting, but this is far from exciting. It's the worst feeling ever, and I don't want anyone to ever try to look at it as something else, but I know they will. It's the worst decision ever. At least I didn't volunteer for this. I was chosen.

I look at my allies and figure out what we're doing wrong. I want to know if there's a way to help them or have them help me. It's tough, and right now all I can think of is listening to them fighting. I know what I can do. I know what I'm capable of. None of them say anything to me, so I just stay quiet hoping to stay focused myself. I have to keep going, I have to fight. I wish I didn't feel so alone even I this fight where others are gathered around. It's easy enough, but even then, I just really want a friend. I want someone to talk to, to bond with. I don't want to die alone with no one to help Shadowspine.

Working amongst a team has sometimes been a flaw of Georgie’s. It’s not exactly a shining line on her resume of becoming mayor. Her only child syndrome is to blame and the lack of friendships that expand past a month. Though bond with Tortoise has a track record, perhaps she can add the friendships forged in this arena to that list too. A boy from Twelve who she accidentally stumbled upon in the darkness of the arena, the one who gave her a fright. Who still gives her a fright at the thought of his powers. The lanky looking winged reptile that was so stubborn to lead her to safety. And the unlikely career guy so hell bent on toppling some stone knight. All accidental findings not forced. That’s probably the way.

If she’s not careful, she’ll lose one.

All this time she’s been flinging knives at Florentine, like some never-ending simulation while her allies are working together. Umber is up in the sky on his wyvern, but its attacks are in the defence of Noah. Georgie watches as the flames extinguish from his spear – he doesn’t look good at all. It’s about time she learns to work with others.

”It’s been great chatting with you.” Georgie says as she pats her shoulder, wincing at the pain underneath her palm. It feels wet, there’s blood on her hand as she looks at it. ”But I got to go.”

Strawberry drops her nose to Georgie’s feet, and she climbs up her neck. The wyvern raises her head, and gravity causes Georgie to slide down to her back. The ruby pair begin their charge through the climbing trees, towards the pair of girls that are attacking Noah.

”Noah get out of the way!” Georgie calls from the back of Strawberry. The juvenile wyvern bares her teeth and pounces with all her strength. A warning growl from Strawberry whips through the branches. It’s like a victory bugle has been played prematurely but the ruby pair’s intentions are to end this. It’s what she showed the gamemakers, she’ll stomp on anyone who hurts those close to her. Georgie even pulls out the last of her knives, igniting it with the flint that drops from her hands and slips to the ground. There will be no more fire after today.

They won’t need it anyway, so long as she saves her friend.

Strawberry stands square with Esther, the victim from Three. Georgie closes her eyes, it's the wyvern that's chosen the prey. Not her. It won't be Georgie that becomes the killer. The princess never becomes the killer in these stories.

Dars.

the kid is better, but she is still not great. 

it's not too hard, to miss the high, slow arc of her burning arrows, to step cleanly away from them before they touch me. it's like playing with a child, pretending you're trying your best, when really you're growing gradually impatient. i don't want to hurt her feelings, so i make a show of it.

suddenly, it seems that georgie has grown tired of me, too. 

it's been great chatting with you, she says, abruptly. but i got to go. 

i raise an eyebrow at her, wondering if she has finally decided to do what's best and run away. the lot of them should go - what they're doing is shameful; picking on a girl who can't even see their slimy faces. she's all alone, too.

i'm about to shout something back at georgie, an offhanded retort about her still having a lot to learn, when i realise the real reason for her sudden change of heart. she climbs steadily onto the back of her dragon - but instead of coming to her senses, soaring away into the sky and leaving us behind, she coaxes the beast forward in a horrible, exaggerated gesture. 

knife and beast connect with esther's body at the same time; she is already hollow and lifeless, a shell of a person. she had no chance. 

you fucking cowards, i spit in their wake, but i don't think they hear me, because as soon as the vulnerable have fallen and they are left with the fearless, fuming shadows of andromache and me, they are gone. 

_[DARS]