.::[[A New Beginning]]::. {The Uprising}

This is not going at all as I had planned it to go. I mean, sure we’re all “rebels”, but I didn’t expect them to all be bitter and violent towards each other. At the very least, I hoped that they would realize their common goals and get along with each other because of it. This is what I get for overestimating people. Maybe my expectations were too high- wait, why am I thinking “maybe”? My expectations were clearly too high for these people. It occurs to me that we need several more older members, because clearly the majority of this bunch doesn’t have any impulse control whatsoever. Not that I’m one to talk. I’ve been trained all of my life to control myself, and right now all I want to do is to yell at them all and order them to get their act together, just as I had always been told the moment I stepped out of line. Then again, I guess I turned out just fine. Maybe these kids need to be yelled at. It’s a dangerous thing to be pulling out a knife the moment someone ticks you off.

I have to mentally kick myself for being so arrogant. It’s quite difficult to not think that you’re better than everyone around you when you’ve been told how special you are your entire life. My parents were fond of me- or to put it more accurately, they were fond of the idea that I would some day win the Games and become some great shining star to everyone around- and they never hesitated to tell me whenever I wasn’t training. Training was different, but that was because my dad acted like some sort of drill sergeant whenever I did something wrong or wasn’t working hard enough. Then it was always “Run faster, dammit!”, or “You can do better than that!” (he had his inspirational moments), or the occasional offensive “You’re a miserable excuse for a Career.” At first I took that last insult to heart and it would always upset me, but after a while I stopped caring. When someone you know dies, you really don’t want to run off to a place where death is almost imminent unless you’re the smartest and the strongest. And luck helps too.

The sudden revelation that I shouldn’t feel as if I’m better than all of these people quenches my overwhelming urge to yell at them, but I can’t help but be angry at myself for even thinking this way. I am a leader, and what kind of leader am I if I act high and mighty above all of them? Truthfully, I am not above them. I may have been trained for such a role, but I’m just a normal person like all of the rest of them. It’s possible that had I been in their position several years ago, I would have pulled a knife out as well. I might have even taken it farther, I might have hurt someone..

No, no.. I would not have hurt anyone. I could be on my death bed with a knife to my throat while awaiting torture, but I still probably wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone. I can’t hurt anyone, though I’m never going to tell the Uprising this. I’ll teach them how to fight and become stronger and I’ll give orders and be as helpful as possible, but I will never kill. I will never be able to bring myself to do so. Death.. I have never in my life met a person who clearly deserves to die. People make mistakes, but do they really deserve to die? God, I’m such a hypocrite. I’m the leader of the Uprising, with a goal of bringing down the Capitol. Surely we can’t bring them down without a substantial number of deaths..

The thought sends shivers down my spine, but I shut it out immediately and glance towards the people in front of me. In the time that it has taken me to fully recover my thoughts and make up my mind to be gentle with these younger people, the Vice President has already taken charge of the situation and (hopefully) she was able to put an end to it. Nothing has gone as planned, but maybe, just maybe, we can all get back on track and actually converse with each other.. without knives and glaring faces. The situation occurred in the other side of the room, but as I walk over to investigate, I hear Jean Miles’ voice ring clearly towards the troublemakers.

"If you think you're going to defeat the Capitol this way, you're all dead wrong. If we act like this, we're dead. We'll be strung up, our heads decapitated and hung over the side of the City Circle, just to prove that the Capitol is stronger than us. So do you want that? The Capitol, they're a beast. A Huge, Powerful, Ugly Beast, just like those Hell-like alligator things in the arena right now. You're going to need to be level-headed, and not fight. You heard me bitches. No fucking fighting. That's just what the Capitol expects of us, to be a disorganized bunch of mangy fools. So our goal is simple: To prove them wrong, and make them suffer. So if you can't do that without getting into a squabble over a sip of water, you're going to have a bullet through your brain faster than you can say 'Fuck'."

I can’t help but start clapping for her speech, even though I don’t quite approve of the swearing. My parents were at least half-normal when it came to rules such as that, and they always frowned upon me whenever I let a swear word out that I had learned from the other kids at school. Seeing as I have no such control over her, I’ll just have to deal with it and get used to it. This is a group consisting of mostly teenagers, what else should I expect from them?

Shrugging the thought away, I stand over the group of angry-looking teenagers with raised eyebrows at them. Jean covered the majority of what I would have probably said (plus a bit of cursing), but I would still like to know what happened. I’m just about to interrupt when one the older, dark-haired girl storms out of the room with the a furious look on her face. I watch her go until she’s completely out of sight, wondering silently if she will ever come back. I decide that it’s not likely and turn back to the small group of teens.

“Someone please explain to me what the problem is so that we can solve it. This is exactly what brought down the Uprising before. I understand that you might not all get along, but the least that you can do is try to get over it so that we can all work together, right? So tell me.”

I lean up against the wall again to hear the story and realize that the girl who had stormed out of the room so quickly had failed to remember her bag, and I pick it up curiously. It’s astonishing the number of knives that are sheathed inside of it, all different sizes and all uniquely different. There are at least 10 of them, and it strikes me that she probably used them for throwing. Wasn’t she one of the food seekers? I’m mortified at how little I know of these people. I can’t even remember the girl’s name, and now I probably never will. I really have to pay more attention. It doesn’t matter now, but at least the group will be able to benefit from her weapons. Not that I’m going to give them these knives or any other weapons until we face combat, because from what I’ve learned here today they won’t hesitate to pull these knives out on each other. Impulsive, angry teenagers and knives just aren’t a good combination.

I turn my attention back to the people in front of me and look at each of their faces, waiting for someone to speak.

”Well?”



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[[OOC: FYI, Myla left if you didn't catch that. I didn't feel like making another post for her in this thread.]]

I don’t quite like having regrets after I’ve done something, but this time around I know that I’ve done something wrong and I need to fix it. I’m not sure which bothers me more: the way that Annalise stated her comment about killing people, or the fact that it affected me so negatively. The way that she stated it made it seem as if killing was almost good, that we should all be savage and horrible just like the Capitol to kill them off. Then again, I know that it wasn’t the meaning behind her words that bothered me moments ago. Killing is essential-- although it’s nothing to take pride over, as Annalise seems to do-- but still it must be done. I’m not afraid of becoming a mindless killer. I’m afraid of killing at all. Afraid of hurting anyone; of making a mistake. Maybe I’ll be thinking differently when the time comes that I actually have to take action. It’s not as if I haven’t fought before- my parents taught me a thousand times over how to fight and defend myself- so maybe it will come naturally. I just can’t think about it when the time comes.

"But what Mr. Tucker? You can't... you can't honestly expect us to go through with this with no kill toll, do you? You must realize, the Capitol will fight fire with fire, and what are we going to do when they come knocking at our door, guns in hand, killing our ranks because we decided to do what was right. Do you think they care what we think about them? Of course not! Those people think only of themselves, and don't let anyone fool you about that."

How on earth she had any idea what was going on inside of my head when I was going to speak, I have no idea. It’s insulting how she would immediately jump to the idea that I couldn’t possibly be brave enough to kill a man, let alone the fact that she was interpreting what I was going to say. I’ve hardly spoken to her before, and now she’s jumping to conclusions as large as this? It’s ridiculous. Annalise is saying something again, and I’m just about to interrupt her when a sudden commotion stops me.

My sporadic Career instincts snap my head to the side as someone collides with me. I don’t have any time to react as the figure bumps into me and sends supplies sprawling all over the floor. I almost let out a yell of surprise, but I seem to have been biting my lower lip anxiously and this restrains me. My eyes widen slightly at the abundance of random supplies on the floor: pencils, pens, journals, all of it scattered wildly around the room as the other surprised figure drops them. I don’t hesitate to pick all of the supplies up just as I hear someone address me.

”..Mr...Mr. Tucker! I'm so...so sorry...I..." I raise my eyes to meet the gaze of the extremely nervous girl, but I’m barely able to catch a glimpse of her before even more excitement arises. I step back quickly as Annalise charges toward the girl, kicking her over and bringing a knife to her throat.

Are these people so oblivious to the idea of peace? Only moments ago Jean made a speech about getting along, and now one of the older members is bringing a knife to a poor girl’s throat? Violence is apparently always the answer.

I clear my throat and stare down at both of them, more calm now that I’ve been able to grasp the situation.

”What was it that you said about killing our ranks? It would be much appreciated if you didn’t harm our Weapon Tech, Annalise” I raise my eyebrows at her and then stare down at the poor girl who was unfortunate enough to be attacked by her. She looks scared and embarrassed, her pretty face an obvious shade of red. The poor thing, she obviously didn’t mean anything by it, and yet she was blatantly hurt by a member who should at least have some control over herself.

I glance at Annalise for a moment before I hold a hand out to help the younger one. ”Are you alright?” I ask, making sure to be calm so as to not frighten her any more than she already is.

Poor girl.