Roots (Dustin and Jaimie Post-BB)
Jul 14, 2011 20:07:57 GMT -5
Post by jimmylost on Jul 14, 2011 20:07:57 GMT -5
What is day without a blessed night?
And what is peace without a blessed fight?
And what is peace without a blessed fight?
When my feel finally slowed I let them give up on me falling to the ground yet again. What did it matter now I've failed, didn't I have a plan? What was I doing deviating like this? I knew what I had to do and yet I had run. Am I really that afraid to die? Yes, yes I am. Was.
I let myself crawl under one of the scratching clumps of green that I had run to. I wasn't nearly far away enough from the bloodbath to be safe yet. I let myself stay hidden as my realization from so many days ago began playing in my head:
*
It was on the train to the capitol that it hit me. Sitting in the dining car I saw Ara, the victor of the 55th. I couldn't feel anything but sympathy for the girl. Her life before the games had been tragic, her time in the arena hell, and as a Victor she had lost the only family she never knew she had.
That was it, I saw the vision as clearly as if I where already there. Standing as victor only to see Ashes' name pulled and forced to watch her die. There was no denying the tenancy of the family members of victors winding up in the games themselves. If I won I'd be putting Ashes in danger. So my choices where now even fewer. I could maybe win and put Ashes in danger, or die and her threat of self-destruction may prove true. There really was no choice, I couldn't actively put my sister in danger, I had to die.
The decision clear I began working out details, if she knew I had given up she might make good on her promise just to spite me. So I had make it look like I was fighting. Not too hard to do in the games. But if I was overly noticed Ashes may get reaped over my memory. The bloodbath, that would have to be when I fell, that way I'd go unnoticed among the pile of bodies that would fall with me on the first day of the games.
Everything seemed to go cold with the knowledge of how short my decision had just cut my life. To save Ashes I had to die on the first day. My certainty made me feel as if I where already dead. I was nothing more then a corps sitting completely alone. Admittedly I was soon to be among 23 other corpses, they simply had yet to accept their fate as I had. Yes even the future victor was among the walking dead, looking at the victor's that shared the dining car with us those few days was enough to prove that.
I let out a sigh, surprising myself with the fact that the air leaving my lungs was frigid with death already.
*
The memory froze me completely, I was supposed to die. Worse then that my plan could have only worked if district twelve wasn't around to be remembered at all. I had allied myself with Jaimie in the hope that I would keep her in the bloodbath long enough to get us both killed. I wasn't just willing to sacrifice myself for Ashes, but anyone else that threatened her safety. I had failed though. I was still here still breathing and now Ashes was in danger.
Well I have to face reality now. I haven't gone through with plan a and considering that ended in my death I'll have to think of a plan b quick. I guess if I still die on day one that will do it, not as effective but at least it's something. Only one problem though, Jaimie, if I die and she makes it to the very end how might people remember her ally? Would that be enough to prompt the capitol into sending Ashes into the arena? I think of the twin of a tribute from two years ago being in here, too big a risk regardless. I have to find Jaimie, then we'll find ourselves some powerful tributes to end us.
I look out from my hiding place, Jaimie should have followed me out of the bloodbath, unless someone had gotten her after I fled. Hope floods me, followed directly by guilt. I can't waver though, it might not be her fault that she got me for a district partner and ally but she's going to have to live with it, and die with it. I see someone running my way, I look out from my place and see it's her. Right on cue.
I crawl out of my hiding place and give her a wave.
What is the day without a blessed night?
And what is peace without a blessed, blessed, blessed fight?
And what is peace without a blessed, blessed, blessed fight?