All or Nothing At All [Semper]

The deep woods had been Dominic's home for about a good four years or so. Ever since he had killed his father he had relied on the forest for an escape route, not only from angry people but from himself as well. There, he could hurt no one; the closest he could ever come to murder in the deep woods was suicide, but even then, he never could come quite close to taking his own life. All he ever managed to hurt was a few trees, the ground, and himself, though he found that to be alright since not another person had been attacked.

You won't be alone in the woods this time, though.

Dominic cringed away from the voice, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. There was no way in hell that he would hurt her -- and besides, she had promised she would stop him if things got too out of control. He hoped -- prayed, rather -- that she would stay true to her word and shove an axe into him to stop him. If anything happened to Jana, especially if done by his own hands, he knew he would not be able to live with himself.

The falling snow and bitter cold air nipped at him like a pesky, silent animal, waiting for the first signs of weakness to take him down. Dominic's emerald green eyes frequently scanned the patches of white on the leaves, shivering all the while. It forced him to dig his hands further into his pockets, searching for more warmth. The longsleeve shirt he had on did help to ward off some of the chilly air, but not all of it; it still seeped down into him, cooling his core so that goosebumps rose up on his arm.

The voice had remained silent for most of the time he was fallowing Jana. How long would they last out in the woods? If worse came to worse they could kindle a fire from just sticks, but that could take hours; and in the winter weather, hours could mean the difference between life and death. Food was his other main concern: there were still squirrels running about, but as far as he knew they had no wire to set up simple snares to catch them. Other than Jana's hatchet, he didn't know if they had any weapons. They needed more resources, but the question was: where would they get them?

"Are you holding up ok? We can stop and rest if you want."

Dominic's attention perked at the sound of her voice, bringing him to a halt.

"I'm... I'm alright... we don't have to stop; not unless you'd like to."

He tried to hide the shivering in his voice, but it wasn't working for him too well. It was evident that he was suffering from the cold, but he didn't want her to know; the cold gave him something else to concentrate on. The bitter air did, however, make the cuts on his back sting some, as well as the bruises on his chest and around his eye; painful reminders of what had caused he and Jana to retreat back into the woods to begin with. If he hadn't gone after Landon in such a violent fashion, would they really be where they were right now? Would they really be in such a desperate situation to find shelter before the snow really began to fall? Hopefully they wouldn't, but what was done was done; he could not change it no matter how hard he regretted his actions.

You always have regrets because you can't make any good decisions on the spot. No wonder people don't like you.

The words were like toxin being pumped through his heart, making him cringe as though he had been hit again. He didn't want to regret this decision to go into the woods -- for just this once, he didn't want to give the voice anything to hold over his head again. Not this time.

"M-maybe if we found a f-fallen tree we could board it up wi-with pine branches, or.... or by some ch-chance that there's an abandoned house here somewhere."

Winter weather, even with the probability of frost bite, wasn't concerning him very much at the moment. As far as he knew, he had two men hot on his trail, ready to drive a stake through his head for running off with Jana. As much as the boy wasn't willing to admit it, he was terrified of Landon and Mr. Hale. Dominic knew he would be outnumbered if they both decided to gang up on him because he was "dangerous", but he would be willing to take them on despite how horribly he knew he would fail. But wouldn't attacking them just add more evidence to their concern that he was "dangerous"?

Dominic was caught off guard a little as Jana tossed him the sweater, which he caught out of instincts. The fabric was soft against his cold skin; he felt that he couldn't accept any gifts from her at the moment, especially after what he had just put her through, but the yearning for a little more warmth was overwhelming. After hesitating a good few moments, dark eyes watching the sweater in his hands as though it would come alive, he finally slipped it on, instantly thankful to have more shielding between his skin and the cold of winter.

"Thank y-you,"

He pulled his long-sleeve shirt sleeves down so that they covered his hands up to the base of his fingers, closing his hands then to keep the cuffs from riding back up.

"There has to be something out here somewhere. We just have to find it, somehow."

Dominic nodded, fallowing after her as they began to head further into the woods, the snow ever so slowly softening his footsteps. As he gazed about him, he couldn't help but think that during sometime in the past, another couple had run off into the woods, hoping for the freedom to do things their way like Jana and he were doing.

I bet that guy wasn't a schizophrenic like you.

'Is this really necessary?'

All I'm saying is that I bet those other people you're think of made it further than you and what's-her-face are going to make it.

The boy snorted. 'You just wait and see -- we'll do better than you can imagine.'

Fine by me. I've got till the end of your life to see you fail.

It wasn't until he loosened his grip on his sleeves that he realized he had been clenching his fists tightly. If only the voice would leave him alone; if only he could have some peace; if only he could be like any other sane person. All these if only's, but never "I am" or "I have". Other than the few minutes of stability and silence Jana had given him when he first realized there was still possibly hope for him, there hadn't been a single quite moment since. Maybe fate would have it that Jana and he wouldn't make it; maybe the winter would be so harsh that they both froze to death. If that were true, though, at least he would die next to the one person he ever could really trust.

His eyes, squinting against the thick falling snow, locked onto what he thought looked like a dark silhouette of a square with a pointed top. Bewildered, Dominic stood still, uncertain of what he was really seeing.

"Is that... a house?"

He asked no one in particular, tilting his head slightly as if he could get a better view of the stationary shadow. He began to venture towards the silhouette, beginning to see what it really was: a typical lumberjack's cabin. There was no light or sound coming from it.

You've got to be kidding.

"No, I'm not."

He turned to look at Jana, though he couldn't even muster up a weak smile for her. Of all places a house could be, one happened to be placed right in their path. Maybe things wouldn't end so bad after all.

"I'll go get some firewood."

How their luck had changed so quickly, Dominic hadn't the slightest idea. He felt that the house was almost a sign that maybe things would turn out alright after all; or maybe he was just getting his hopes up that Landon and Mr. Hale would leave him and Jana alone and let them be. The boy knew that karma could snap right back around and smite him, so he quickly dismissed any thoughts he had of things turning out right.

"No; you go on and get out of the snow. I'll be back in a little bit."

He shook his head slightly, forcing a weak smile to faintly draw across his lips. Jana had already done so much for him that he wanted her to be able to relax for a bit. She had been through a terrible amount of emotional pain in the past hour or so that he wanted to take some burdens off her shoulders for the time being.

Putting his hands back into his pockets, Dominic turned and headed further into the woods around the house. Ever since he had started helping his father in the woods, he had developed a sense of direction with where he was in the woods. After being shown a trail or area of a forest for the first time, he could remember said area for future references. He was sure that he wouldn't get lost, but that wasn't his concern; the growing feeling that he was being watched.

You are being watched.

Coming to a stop outside the house, Dominic's lively green eyes searched the perimeter of the old building, trying to see if there was anywhere he could put all the wood as a holding place. It would need to be an easy-access area, but everything was beginning to get covered with snow. They needed the wood to be dry, so leaving it outside wouldn't be the best idea. He doubted they had a tarp anywhere, so he would just have to bring it all inside with the hopes that there weren't any little bugs that would bite them during the night.

After a few moments of difficulty, Dominic managed to open the door to the little house and knock the snow off his boots before entering. He first took in the small chunks of wood, setting them in an organized pile in one of the empty corners, then went to get the larger pieces. Shaking the snow off of them, he took the larger bits of wood and broke them, if he could, into smaller pieces and stacked them up so they could be taken without the threat of things falling over.

Once that was taken care of, Dominic scooped up some thin branches and broken-off bark, carefully making his way over to the fire place and setting them in. Hopefully the bark would catch fire easily since it was hardly damp.

The wood you got will only last you for so long... then what will happen when everything's too wet to set alight?

Just the thought of being forced to live without a fire in the dead of winter made the boy shiver, trying to chase the voice's comment. His gaze rested on the dull wood for a moment before he turned to Jana.

"You wouldn't happen to have a lighter, would you?"

He asked, voice wavering mostly as a result of being out in the cold. The voice had unsettle his mind, there was no doubt about that; but he silently was scolding himself for not getting any more wood during his outing. I couldn't have really carried anymore, though. Emerald green eyes glanced back at the stack of timber in the corner, criticizing it. Sure, it was a fairly decent pile, but he thought he could have gotten more. Then the threat of using it all up would be less.

"I think that maybe I should go get some more dry wood..."

Dominic's tone turned his statement more into a question as he transferred his gaze to Jana, wondering what she thought about the amount of wood.

((S'alright. x3 This semester is going to be kicking my arse, so I dunno how often I'll be able to get in decent-sized replies. D: ))




"No lighter. But I have flint and my hatchet."

The boy knew how to start a fire with the two simple materials she had, but he had never really quite been able to do it. Many times in the forest, when he was younger, his father had tried to teach him the importance of starting a fire with the bare minimum of materials, but using a hatchet and flint had been his weakest point. Dominic had learned the patience required for using sticks and rocks -- many methods for both items -- though usually whenever he would venture off into the woods, he would always carry matches with him, preoccupied with too many things to be able to sit still and work at kindling a fire.

Dominic stepped back, allowing room for Jana to tend to the small pile of wood in the fire place. Sitting back on the floor, his emerald green eyes watched her as she leaned over, skillfully using her hatchet and flint to coax a small flame from the tinder. Tilting his head ever so slightly, the boy noticed the way her red hair fell around her face, giving her a rugged yet beautiful look, in his opinion. The urge to reach over and place a few of her red locks behind her ear swelled up in him and his hand lifted a few inches from his lap but stopped, slowly going back down. Would she find it strange if he did that to her? His feelings for her were slowly but steadily growing; Jana Hale was the only person outside of his small family to ever have not seen him as a psychologically screwed up outcast, and he really liked that about her.

It's too bad you're both going to die out here. You don't have much fire wood and anything that was dry outside is going to be soaking wet. You don't have any food, either; no fire and no wood. You're going to watch her slowly die.

A sudden jolt of panic struck his core as the thought crept into his mind. Neither of them really did have any food and their fire wood supply would quickly run down; it was also the dead of winter, so the majority of the animals would be hibernating or simply hiding from the raw cold. A stinging pain stabbed at his back around the glass gashes, but the fear he had quickly dulled down the pain. Slouching forward a little, his distant eyes dropped their gaze down to the ground. As far as Dominic knew, they had no medicine, either. If starvation or the cold didn't get them, infection certainly would. Though his eye and chest required no attention, he was certain that his back had been mutilated by some sort of bacteria from the damp alley. It hardly mattered, though; in the big scheme of things, what was a little infection compared to a life time?

"We're going to die here.... aren't we?"

He hadn't meant to sound pessimistic, but the hidden tone in his voice was doleful. Emerald green eyes raised to look at the red-headed girl, wanting to know if she thought the same outcome of their current situation. It seemed the entire world was against them, so he knew the odds were not in their favor -- only time would tell, if they didn't die before then.

Dominic was used to death; he had seen his mother's pale corpse, taken his own father's life by accident, and all the few unintended murders between then and where he was now. He never meant to kill anyone, but there was just something fascinating about the way a corpse was. Their face seemed very peaceful... mouth in a soft line, facial muscles relaxed underneath the cooling skin, and eyes just staring blankly out into nothingness, every trace of light taken away as though they were black holes. For nearly an hour, the boy would sit next to the corpse, emerald green eyes examining this eerie serenity that only dead people seemed to be able to acquire. 'When I die, will I be as peaceful as them?' He doubted it; though when you die, your mind stops working, right? 'Maybe the voice'll be gone... maybe everyone has a voice like mine, and when they die it makes them happy because they can't hear it anymore.' The idea appealed to Dominic the way a young child might react to a puppy. It was then that he came to accept death for much more than it originally is worth -- welcomed it, even -- and was ready to embrace it whenever it came to have his turn as a quiet peace.

But as he sat before the fire with Jana, he didn't want to die. The same serenity he had seen before, he saw it in Jana. The light was still in her eyes, but it was the kind that just reassured you of anything and everything -- or so he felt, anyway. Dominic was beginning to believe that she had this desirable peace inside of her, peeking out in the glow of her eyes and the warmth of her smile at times. But if the tranquility were to fully appear, would that mean that Jana would be dead...? A cold chill ran over him as the possibility entered his mind. 'No, no, Jana doesn't have a voi--'

Stop lying to yourself, dumb ass. You just said that everyone has a voice, and you're damn right they do. Only thing is, they can control theirs -- and you can't, you pathetic cretin.

'B-..... they.....'

Dominic raised his emerald green eyes' gaze to look at Jana, examining her as closely as he had done to the corpses. There seemed to only be faint signs of distress present on her facial features, but it just didn't seem like enough to really prove that she had a voice the same as his. 'Maybe.... maybe her voice is a calm one...' It seemed the only possible answer. She never argued with herself, never went mental at the sight of blood, never freaked out and had an emotional breakdown in the midst of a large group, never attacked someone spontaneously; and the more he thought it through, the more he came to believe it to be true.

Upon Jana's request, the boy twisted around so that his back was facing her, snapping out of his spider-webbing thoughts. To allow her better access to the broken glass embedded in his skin, he took off the sweater and set it aside, then went on to take off his blood-stained shirt, setting it down next to the sweater heap. The winter air that managed to get past the fire's heat caused a few goosebumps to rise along his arms, but other than that, he felt quite fine. Physically speaking, of course. He hardly felt the pain in his back or eye anymore. Quite possibly a bad thing.

You have no self control, obviously. Everyone else can keep their voice in line, but you can't. You never could, and you never will be able to. And killing yourself won't ever get rid of me. No matter where you go or what you do, I'll always be here...