rendezvous times two (pthalo)

It was another one of those days where Julian’s parents had said enough was enough and there would be no training that afternoon. They were so worried about him, especially now that his nightly breakdowns had worsened again. Every night they could hear Julian sobbing and screaming in his fitful, restless sleeps. The visions of Midas’s death haunted him even more as Julian fell further into his cruel and ruthless shell of himself.

The no training days didn’t affect him anymore though; Julian was clever enough to find a way around that. He simply tagged along with his cousin Clarity to her more public training center and would benefit from group activities for the day. At the moment he was exhibiting his skills with his favorite weapon—the whip. While it was not bladed like his choice weapon at home, it was still impossible to challenge the fiery blonde when he had any form of the weapon on hand.

The large boy he was sparring with wielded two knives and was bobbing and weaving around Julian’s whiplashes to attempt to land a mark on his target. However every time the boy made any notion forward, he was sent back hissing with a loud crack from Julian’s whip as it left small gashes where it met the boy’s skin. Julian rolled his eyes, growing bored of this game and with two quick flicks of his wrist, the whip cracked down on each of the boy’s hands so fast it was nothing but a blur as the two knives dropped to the ground with a clanking sound. Before the boy even realized what was occurring, Julian was upon him with a foot in his chest, sending him flying back and hard into the ground.

Clarity stood watching with her arms folded and smirked, “What are you going to do if the gamemakers don’t place a whip in the arena, Julian?”

Julian coiled the whip and held it by his side as he turned to face his cousin. The two definitely looked related, with their blonde locks, large eyes and pouty lips. They looked like a pair of District 1 dolls, so out of place in this district of gunsmiths and peacekeepers. “You know as well as I do, Clarity, that I’m just as deadly with or without a whip.”

Clarity began some sort of smart retort, however she was quickly interrupted by a deep voice addressing her cousin. She turned and was shocked to see Brigham Holden approaching Julian.

Julian was shocked himself for a moment, wondering what on earth this guy he had both punched and then kicked into a puddle of mud just weeks prior could possibly want with him. His bright blue eyes flickered to the lengthy bundle of cloth in Brigham’s hand.

”I-I have the sword now, if you want it.”

Julian shook his head and blinked, taken aback; he could feel the eyes of nearly everyone in the large room on him and his guest now. “What…?” Julian began putting the pieces together in his head and couldn’t help but start laughing. He rolled his eyes as he unfurled his whip with a loud crack. “Fine, if you want me to have this stupid thing so bad, I’ll take it.” Julian lashed out his arm to release the wrath of his whip once more. This time however, rather than marking a victim, it wrapped tightly around the clothed sword. With a hard yank, Julian pulled the weapon from Brigham’s grip and caught it with his free hand. “You can go now.” He turned to go place this prized sword by his bag of belongings.

Julian had already turned to walk away; Brigham had been dismissed. Didn’t he realize that was his cue to leave? He turned to address this little situation, but hir right hand girl was already on the task. Clarity, though there was always rivalry between the two, was very protective of her cousin. Though she despised Midas for coming in between the two, she too worried for her cousin since his lover’s death. She had seen the change in him, and while it brought him closer to her own level of cruelty, she knew it wasn’t truly Julian. However she stood by his side through it all regardless, and she was certainly not about to allow some foolish boy, particularly with a reputation like Brigham’s, come anywhere near Julian’s fragile heart. She moved between the two boys and cocked her hips the side with attitude as she placed her hands on her side.

“Too intimidated to address me? How typical, Holden. You never were good for much other than a good screw. Now please tell me just why you are here to see my cousin? You’re going to have to go through me first, and if you think you’re going to pull any of you’re usual tricks on him… you’ll regret ev-“

“Clarity, enough!” Julian said, adding a crack of his whip for emphasis. “I can handle myself.” He took in a deep breath and stepped beside Clarity, cocking his hip in a similar fashion and holding his whip at his side. “Why are you really here, Brigham? Surely it wasn’t just to give me that silly sword?”

It took a moment for Brigham’s words to set in with Julian, and suddenly the void he had created where his emotions once resided was flooding once more as Brigham’s confession hit him like a tidal wave. Julian’s body gave a physical jolt as the waves broke throughout his mind. Why would Brigham even say something like that? The first emotion to register was flattery; no boy had said anything quite so genuine to him since Midas died. Secondly, he was weighed down with guilt; Guilt for his lost lover Midas, guilt for his previous actions towards Brigham and guilt for the way he would have to react now. Julian was not in any state to entertain anyone with an idea of romance. Lastly anger and frustration spread through him like wildfire. He hated himself for who he had become, hated Midas for leaving him this way and hate anyone for being stupid enough to be drawn to someone like this shell of Julian.

“Julian, are you ok?” Clarity said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Concern showed through her eyes as she looked at her cousin. He was the only person she truly cared for in her life. She turned hastily onto Brigham. “You should go! Now!”

The room was spinning fast around the blonde boy. He tried to muster a response to Brigham, but no words could find his tongue. Everyone and everything had turned into a blur. Without a word, he stumbled over to his belongings and made his way out of the gym, ignoring the calls of his cousin who stood dumbfounded in the same spot.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” Clarity scoured at Brigham. “Don’t you know about Midas? Haven’t you heard about what happened to Julian after his death? You better stay away from him Brigham Holdem. I won’t let you make him another notch on your bedside! And so help me if you try,” She brought a knife from a nearby weapons rack to Brigham’s throat, “You will wish you were in the arena with me so the gamemakers would moderate my brutality! Now get out of this gym before I go forward with that offer now!” Clarity stormed off to a room in the back with a label for “girls only” on the door.

***

Julian had made his way to an alley just beside the gym. He was dry heaving as his body attempted to purge all of these emotions he had been trying so hard to block. He slid back against the brick wall and held himself as he wept. The Julian who had just lost the boy he loved had returned and he was helplessly lost, frightened and alone again.