Digging up bones (open)

I've got off the peacekeepers train, still in the uniform of a peacekeeper captain. My contact says my identity is still good to get me past most security, so I should be careful not to attract attention here in the Capitol. Back in my old home.

I'm able to stroll right out of the train yards without worry, I'm just one more peacekeeper among the hundreds walking around here. All I have to do is merge with the line of keepers slowly making their way out of the train compound and into the streets.

And they haven't changed much. Still vivid in rich colours and changing tides of decoration. Massive TV screens in the streets play the on going hunger games. And when I focus on the screens, I see the reaped victims. The tributes, they're in a winter wasteland. Poor kids. Winter alone in the forest is on of the hardest seasons to survive in.
I makes me wonder what human being with any sort of morality would create those wretched... wait, I forgot. Capitol has no morals. They're just cattle and shepherds that feast on the blood of the districts, blood of their slaves.
What was I thinking in coming back here?

I wanted to go home, that's what I was thinking.

I take to the streets in a patrol-looking style of walk. I pass through crowds of these capitolites, giggling with each other, discussing everything from their current fashion to their favorite death so far in the games. It's sickening. But, I must ignore it. Just walk on and phase out their conversations.

But with each step I take around this city, with ever breath of air I inhale, my memory floods with recollections of my small youth. Not to much though, I only remember as far back as about four years old. But I come to a street corner, I remember tripping on it. Crying until my dad kissed it better. Until my mother hugged me so tightly, so lovingly. Whatever happened to those days?
I ruined them, that's what. I saw my first hunger games, and I ruined it all. It's my fault I never saw my dad again. My fault my mother hated me. My fault that everything that I suffered happened. Thinking back, I would change it all. Kept my stomach and held my tongue when I saw the games, but then again... would I?
The people I've met, things I've learned.
The lives I've changed, the lives I destroyed...

Would I have changed it? Had I the chance?

No. It turned how this way for a reason.

I turn away from this street corner and walk down the street. People see my uniform and part ways for me. It's nice to have respect, but for all the wrong reasons. But I keep walking, searching really, until I come to a single building. A single home. My home.
The lights are out and there's nothing happening inside that I can see. I climb up the door stoop and grab the door handle, turning it. I open the door and give it a push. I don't know what to expect until I see inside.
The house is empty. Abandoned. There's nothing in here. I sweep the house and nobody is here. Figures as much that my mother is gone, who would carry on in a home after losing everything?

I step out of the home and take a seat on the door step. I can't help the disappointed and sad expression on my face. I just watch the passing crowds of capitolites, too uncaring to bother with me.