Long Days [Jack Lexington]

Iris sat there talking to the two year old with the ever growing vocabulary about what she thought was important in the world, while her mind whirled about who she had thought she had seen over at the other table not far from them. If it was him, he could probably see them and that would just kill her. She didn’t want him here, while he should have to face the little girl he shouldn’t be here at all. It was easier to tell her daughter that her daddy was too busy with work to come and see her to spend time with her that he was off in some far off place working for the better of the districts. If he was here she couldn’t keep that illusion alive. She let her daughter chatter on about what not while she scribbled in one of the coloring books that she had brought with. While her daughter talked about what not she looked back over at where she thought she saw Nick. His hair was longer and now he had a beard but that was definitely him. He hadn’t changed much in the two years since she had last seen him, but he had also changed so much.

Questions ran through her mind and she was completely not paying attention to her daughter now. She wondered why he had come back and why he had decided after two years to come back to see them—if he was even here to see them, which she doubted. She didn’t think he would ever come back to see them, why would he care. She rubbed her eyes some as her daughter leaned across the table and poked her shoulder. ”Mommy why is that man looking at us?”

Iris looked at him and thought about yelling at him to leave her alone. She wanted to ask him why he just showed up here after all this time and he wanted to act as though nothing had happened. Well a lot had happened and she wasn’t happy about it. She didn’t want him here and she wanted him to know it. She closed her eyes for a moment wishing he would leave them alone and get away. She was perfectly content with her daughter and without him. She ran her fingers through her hair as Charlotte walked over to see the man that her mommy was talking to.

She was looking at him with big beautiful eyes that looked at not nearly as many people with that much interest. She thought he was interesting and wondered why her mommy was talking to him and didn’t seem to like him. Her mommy picked her up and set her on her lap holding her close before telling her to say hi to the man. She waved at him and said in a quiet voice, ”Hi”

Iris didn’t like him being but Charlotte was having a blast. She loved whenever she got all the attention she wanted and craved. Being at daycare all the time she never really got one on one attention so she spent all day with other two year olds demanding the same amount of attention as her. She was the one that was the least demanding though so she was often lost in the crowd of the other people. She didn’t mind sometimes but other times she just wanted someone to pay attention to her so when he asked her how old she was she held up two fingers ”This many”

Iris looked at him when he asked her this. She should have expected it but how was she expected to answer that? She ran her fingers through her hair while Charlotte looked at the cakes a little bit away. "Yes she is yours" She said quietly not wanting to admit it. Another thing she didn't want to admit is that while she was still putting money away every month it was getting harder and harder to find the extra and she was about to get a pay cut. She didn't want to tell Nick that she needed him here, because honestly she didn't trust him here, for all she knew he was still out sleeping around and getting other girls pregnant and that wouldn't be okay.

She finally figured out how to answer the other question he asked, "We are doing okay for now" That was all she said, she didn't want to elaborate more on it because then it would become apparent that they wouldn't be okay very soon. She looked at him just looked at him not sure what to say to him or do about the hyper active two year old. She pulled herself together in her mind before saying "Thank you" She was actually happy he had come back even if it was only for a few hours, that was okay with her. He got to see his daughter and that they were doing fine and that should ease his mind into leaving them alone. She handed him a slip of paper with their address on it and grabbed her food that had been wrapped up for them before calling Charlotte over who waved goodbye to him.

"Bye Nick" She said. She didn't want to stay there any longer and get into any deep conversations about how much her life had changed because he walked out on them. She didn't want to get into it. With that thought she walked with Charlotte out of the restaurant leaving him there to decide his next move since she already knew hers.

That night she waited to see if he would come to the door but he never did. She figured he would. She went to bed and got ready for the next morning she was going to take Charlotte to the grocery store and then the sitter for just an hour to herself to go out and do something she wanted to do. She knew she shouldn't be wasting the money for the extra time at the sitter but she knew better then to allow herself to get too overwhelmed by her life and she was really feeling it from her confrontation with her ex the night before. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

In the morning she woke up and got Charlotte ready to go out for the day. They went to the grocery store and bought food that she had the money and coupons to buy. She didn't want to have to deal with going over her budget because she had already spent over her monthly budget to pay for the baby sitter that night. After the grocery store she went to the park with her daughter and around dinner time she went and brought her home and made her dinner. They ate and waited for the babysitter who arrived shortly after. She was just in simple jeans and a jacket and was just going to walk to see what she could find. She had already pushed Nick out of her mind, why would he still be here, he saw them, saw they were okay and he should know that she didn't need him, even though she did. She needed him more then ever right now, she would never admit to needing anyone though.

She kissed her head and told her to have fun with the sitter before walking to the front door and grabbing her bag, she would probably end up going to the library and studying some book she picked up. She dropped out of school not long after she got pregnant and took every spare second to go and study things she didn't get to learn in school. She called goodbye one last time before opening the door bag over her shoulder to find Nick standing at her door. Her eyes widened in surprise before she raised an eyebrow at him and stepped out pulling the door closed behind her. She looked at him curiously. "Can I help you?" She asked him politely. She couldn't say that she hated him even after all he had done. Even after he had walked out on her and her baby. She looked at him she still wanted to yell and scream at him and most of all cry when she saw him but she wasn't going to it wasn't her thing to do that to him. She was going to keep her cool. "I figured you had already left to go back to wherever." She said stepping around him and going down the stairs.

Iris looked at him as he hit the ground and she rolled her eyes some at him. He started to say he had just been around the neighborhood which she knew was a bunch of shit but she let him keep right on talking while he sat there on the ground. She wasn't about to stop him. He finally told the truth though that he was going to come by and.. but then he stopped. She wondered what he possibly could have been thinking when he decided just to drop by her house and not do anything just stand there on her doorstep. She was worried about what her neighbors, including her landlady would think if they had seen him just standing there for who knows how long before she had come out and found him. She heard him mention something about a boyfriend? Did he think she was seeing someone?

"Yes you can walk with me and no I don't have a boyfriend" She told him honestly. She didn't know where she was going yet but she figured he would want to talk about Charlotte and what they were suppose to do. She wondered why he was still here and if he was staying. In the district she wouldn't mind but if he stayed in this town it would obviously be to get close to Charlotte and she wasn't sure if she wanted him to get close to her. After all he could run out on them again if he got scared or nervous about something or another and she didn't want her daughter to feel the pain that she felt on loosing him. She ran her fingers through her hair for probably the second time not that she was keeping count. She started to walk down the street waiting for him to catch up.