A Red Letter Day [Pre-Experiment Free RP]

Time was ticking away like drops of water rolling down a parched tongue -- each precious to the creature who knew that he had only a finite number left, each gone too quickly.

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
no tomorrow

no tomorrow…

He was suddenly tired, so very tired. His body had grown strong during the years in prison, but his mind wasn't accustomed to the over-burdening of so many people and their actions and their scents and voices…all converging in one confusing mass that required extensive concentration to pick apart and analyze. He felt like a horse in need of blinders to keep it from spooking at every movement in its peripheral vision.

A migraine was building with malicious intent behind his eyes, glistening in white flashes of pain across his vision. Marcellus pressed the pads of his forefingers against the skin over his temples, feeling the pulsing of blood beneath the light pressure. Oddly, the pain in his head grounded him. Pain he was used to, pain he could deal with. It was familiar, and he clung to the sensation, letting it fill his head with a primal intensity. After a moment, he felt solid enough to open his eyes again, returning their focus to his assigned task.

All around me are familiar faces
worn out places

worn out faces…

Another boy stepped into his vision. This District child was tall, matching even Marcellus' impressive stature, though he lacked some of the bulk the older man maintained. There was a careless abandon to this boy's movements, as though begging for a conflict.

”Look, if you’re not going to gouge out each other’s eyes with sticks, then just shut the hell up and stop throwing hissy fits.”

Yes, he knew this type as well. Drunk with an early taste for violence and power, it was an addiction that Marcellus had seen played out in the shady world of his youth. If any life-threatening struggles were to arise, he would bet that this boy would throw himself into them with delight. It wasn't anger or hurt that provided motivation, it was just plain, unadulterated enjoyment.

Bear Keeni. That was the boy's name. He was taller than the photograph in his file had hinted at. Vague suspicions of criminal activity were also noted in the neatly typed sheets that sterilely outlined each subject's home life and history. No real parental involvement. The boy had reason to develop into such a twisted youth. Such a waste in Marcellus' opinion. It was like looking into a mirror of the 'could have been'. What if he had never met…

No.

Long ago Marcellus had forbidden himself to entertain the morosely hypothetical. Guilt was a destructive house guest.

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad

the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had…

Take care of yourself, Marcellus. Do the job…get out…go home…

Home, to the waving oceans of verdant tree tops; their boughs forming the leafy roof for an emerald-tinted world. For freedom. He craved those open forests like an addict longs after his next fix. A simile that Marcellus was no stranger to. Even as the thought crossed into his head, he was already fingering the sleeve of his white coat. The stippling scars on his arms seemed to burn freshly despite their age, a reminder of Capitol influences, of everything he would never be able to leave behind. Even in those wilds that called out to him, even with the one person above all others that he yearned to be with, even then…the Capitol leash would never be far from his neck.

All of these children who marched around the large room and tried to pretend that this was their idea, they were only deceiving themselves. Pawns, that's all any of them were, for the Capitol government to manipulate at their pleasure. They might all die in the course of this experiment. Even he and the other scientists could well have a more permanent fate awaiting them. It was alright for him, Marcellus had long ago learned to live with the concept of death in the back pocket of his pants.

The other scientist, Craig, was still deep in discussion with the young skirt. She had tears flowing down her cheeks and arms clung to the older man. "I-I-I am scared, Craig, what if I die. What if I can't see my mom or dad again. What if..." She was certainly milking the situation for all she could get, playing the damsel in distress.

"Listen to me. I promise, you wont die."

What was he thinking? Marcellus' eyes were drawn back to the couple, narrowed critically. He couldn't - shouldn't - promise that. They all knew, every one of the scientists, that this experiment was breaking ground…each of them had been chosen for the fact that they could and would cross whatever moral lines they were directed to. Not necessarily out of desire, but because the Capitol owned them in some manner. He knew what they held over his head, what thumbscrew existed for such a young District boy?

Do the job…get out…go home…

The thought was all that held him together and focused. If he allowed possibilities to expand beyond that, Marcellus was sure that his mind would splinter into a thousand pieces. He must go home…she was waiting…so long, would she even remember him when the fates at last allowed his return?