Reaching Perfection //Kheft
Apr 23, 2012 21:24:53 GMT -5
Post by laphae8ash on Apr 23, 2012 21:24:53 GMT -5
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Hours...maybe days later we lay in our silent shivers of passion. My hands wrapping his slender arms around me as I try to sort out the events leading to me breathing so heavy with my skin against his. The tears and sweat have mingled into this beautiful display of emotion that I can't even begin to unwind. More tangled than a broken spider web I search for a place to begin.
Do I start with the details he tossed at me, trying to comfort me, trying to let me know he was real...or do I pretend that it was all just a mess of emotions that's I didn't really hear? Searching through the creases and folds of the mussed up sheets I retrieve his tablet and look at him with question marks for eyes. "Tell me more about you. Tell me why you're here with me."
Its not like he just popped into being and decided that showing up in my bed was the best idea in the world. Most Avoxes are so different from what I have heard, my father said they were all beastly and terrible and that having them around was an abomination. Brooke wasn't any of those things, he was gentle and caring and soft and...he was what I wanted.
I wanted him next to me, in my bed, over and over. I wanted his comfort and his ability to to pull this side of me out around all the time...but that's not something I can have. I rested back against him waiting to hear his story, but before he could I felt my words bubbling out again.
"You know, I'm not as awful as you think. I'm not just some silly rich girl who feels bad when she breaks her nail. I have feelings and needs, that I can't even put words to without the fear my mom is going to hid me away again." I bit my lip but I can't stop now that I've started. I need to let go of this bitterness that keeps eating at me. For some reason I just want him to understand.
"If anything, at all, is not exactly how it should be my mother refuses to acknowledge me, my father calls me a failure. I'm treated like the word will collapse if I come home with a hair out of place or a scuff on my shoe. Because someone will have seen me and know there is a chink in the armor." I take a deep breath and look at my finger the microscopic jagged edges of the hardly noticeable nick from the other day making my stomach do flips. "I wouldn't have been allowed out of the house if he saw this. Its a flaw, it means I'm worthless."
My jaw clenches and I look up to the man holding me in his arms, what would my father say if he saw me now. Dirty whore. Stupid Harlot. He'd throw me out by my hair leaving me with nothing, letting me beg on the streets. I shiver at the thoughts, and even then I'm resistant to let Brooke go. I kiss the crook of his neck letting out a sigh. I've already jumped in feet first, why should I worry now.
Closing my eyes I force myself to relax and enjoy the moment. Letting him adjust himself I wonder aloud, "If you miss it so much there, what did you do to get yourself here? You must love the person you gave it all up for." Its almost funny, here I sit with luxuries beyond most peoples wildest dreams, yet there's not a person in the world who would give up anything for me.