a dark, dark world [open]

мυтт
Hunter

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a dark, dark world [open] Apr 23, 2012 18:21:25 GMT -5

Post by мυтт on Apr 23, 2012 18:21:25 GMT -5

Doing. Thinking. Speaking. Hearing. Misc.

I am numb. If one were to have overheard me in passing, it would be the official end of my life in District 11. Quite literally. From the depths of my thought, a name arises. Mary Witaker. I hadn't spoken to her more than twice, but I was aware that she was a gossip, and a suck-up. Mary Witaker was always scrambling for approval, no matter who she was speaking with. That was likely the reason she had turned in the farmers who were talking negatively about the Capitol, and had been hung amongst them by the unforgiving Peacekeepers. I was eight when I passed by her body on the way to the schoolhouse. If the girl who has just arrived decides, eventually, to turn me into the Peacekeepers, we could have another deadly incident on our hands. This time, involving me. I can imagine the children, young and innocent, going by my body on the way to school. They would shield their eyes, glance back momentarily, and then slap their palms over their faces with regret that they ever looked at my dead body in the first place. I know from experience. Mary's dead face still appears in my nightmares on the occasion.

I like Harmony. I do not have an opinion on Ivy, but Harmony, I like her. I have seen her in town enough to know of her nature, and I approve. Yet having heard me speak such stupidity, she will probably find me immature. Or ungrateful, if she is a victim of the Capitol's lies, if she truly believes in all that they have done for us. Or, if she thinks like me...

[/i] In that case, who knows what she will think of me. Apparently, she hasn't completely decided to ignore me, for I can hear her talk even as I wonder what she will think of me. "Azalea, are you alright?" If she had not said my name, I wouldn't have thought she was talking to me. Faintly, I am aware of my position on the floor. I look her in the eyes and rise.

"Yes, Harmony, I'm fine now. Just a little shock at all I'd said, that's all." I give her a weak smile. "It isn't something you just go around blurting out." I lower my tone cautiously, wondering if I should say her name, if I should dig back up the memory with my statement. I say it after a pause, quietly as the whispers of the wind. "I wouldn't want to end up like Mary Witaker." I side-glance at Ivy. She would be the only one to tell a Peacekeeper. I mouth a silent pleading toward her, a single word, followed by another. 'Don't. Please.' I think of Leilani seeing my body hanging in town, secretly relieved that I was gone. I think of Sir, smiling faintly at the fact that I was gone. I think of the schoolchildren, the residents, all who might pass me with my glassy eyes hanging over them ominously, a warning against speaking out on the Capitol. And then I shudder. No, I wouldn't want to end up like Mary Witaker.

"I am awake this early because it is the only time to have interesting conversations." Harmony is replying to Ivy now, in a wry tone. She turns to look at her, and I step backwards, giving them both room. I myself also desire a little space. I still can't fully process what I have just said. "Now I trust that you will maintain strictest confidence in what you have heard. After all, we all don't want another Mary, do we?" Oh, thank goodness for Harmony. She has been able to voice clearly why Ivy might want to remain quiet about this particular encounter. I owe her one. I grin widely this time, and nod at Ivy. I hope she gets the message. I certainly wouldn't want another Mary.
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Last Edit: Apr 23, 2012 18:22:50 GMT -5 by мυтт

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pianoplayer Seam Resident 32 POSTS last seen May 1, 2012 19:32:49 GMT -5	a dark, dark world [open] Apr 24, 2012 16:05:21 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by pianoplayer on Apr 24, 2012 16:05:21 GMT -5 (OOC: OK, cool, just wanted to make sure. You don't have to be sorry, and take your time )

pianoplayer
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a dark, dark world [open] Apr 28, 2012 19:20:51 GMT -5

Post by pianoplayer on Apr 28, 2012 19:20:51 GMT -5

I take another moment to watch Ivy, hoping that the meaning of my words stick with her. I have never known her to be a Mary, but you can only know so much about a person. It is all I can do to try to imagine sending her all the things I want to say to her, but can not risk speaking. It is later in the morning, and the Peacekeepers will be stirring soon. Don't say anything about what you heard to anyone. If you cannot shut your mouth, forget all that you heard. Please, please, do this small favour so we may all live a little bit longer I think to her, and then sigh. I have done what I can at the moment, and we will see what happens from there.

"Hmm, well I doubt anyone wants to end up like Mary. If that happened, then we wouldn't get to celebrate when the Games end for good. " I say, turning my focus to Azalea, a smile reforming as I catch the one on her face. The real smile. And that is the good thing, the shard of hope. I know what everyone thinks; that the Hunger Games will keep going until the end of time, and that nothing the Districts do will stop them. I know some people would think me a tad foolish for being an optimist. I do not care what those people think of me though.

The way I see it, with all the sad things that happen these days, there has got to be a little room for the good things, and for hope. Because what would be the point of living if we were all miserable and thinking about the sad things? We might as well just get the nooses ready if that's how things were. That's why there are good things. For some it's a full stomach, a wedding, a moment with loved ones, or just a peaceful morning stroll. The bad things just make the good things even more wonderful. It's the same with hope. We work, we starve, we send our children off to die. But with all that there is a desire, an unspoken promise that things will get better. Mine is that there will come a time when all of Panem will have full bellies and warm houses and that the Hunger Games will end.

"You're right when you say that people typically don't go blurting that kind of stuff out. But I wouldn't worry about it. It's better to say the truth than lying about things like that." I say, momentarily pausing to figure out what to say next. Do I ask? Hmm, I don't know if it is too rash of me, considering it is my first time talking to her. Ahh...yes, I could not see any harm in that request, if it gives us a chance to keep talking. "I am glad that you are alright though. I am wondering though, would you like to continue this conversation over breakfast?" I ask, feeling a bit unsure how Azalea would react. I don't mean to be hasty, it is just that I would rather keep talking somewhere mildy more discreet that out in the field. By now Mom and Dad will be up and out of the house working, and before we have to go to work, I would like to keep talking with Azalea.

"I mean, if you have already eaten, or have somewhere to be, I understand..." I say quickly, not wishing to make her feel like she has to do anything, and then mentally snap out of my nervousness. "But if you are able to, it would be nice" I finish, my unease vanishing and smile widening.

мυтт
Hunter

[M:-150]

91 POSTS
last seen Jul 4, 2012 17:05:21 GMT -5

a dark, dark world [open] Apr 29, 2012 9:01:21 GMT -5

Post by мυтт on Apr 29, 2012 9:01:21 GMT -5

Doing. Thinking. Speaking. Hearing. Misc.

I take one more side glance at Ivy, without my own consent. We haven't spoken more than a handful of times. We are not friends. If anything, we are acquaintances, bonded by the fate of all those born to our District. Still, she wouldn't tell this to the Peacekeepers. If not for respect of mine, out of fear for her own life. I am done pleading, finished begging. I merely fix her with a hard stare. The silent warnings and implied consequences all rush through my body, translated in my dark eyes. Between us all, silence hangs in there air. Promptly, it is broken. "Hmm, well I doubt anyone wants to end up like Mary. If that happened, then we wouldn't get to celebrate when the Games end for good. " And that is that. I banish all thought of Mary Witaker from my mind, push her presence deep with all the other fears that come back to haunt me in my nightmares. Harmony focuses her attention of me after speaking. She smiles back at me, and a pang of longing strikes my abdomen. I would actually like to be friends with this girl; too bad I don't know how. I don't know the first thing about friendship, let alone how to make a new friend. Shyly, I let myself grin at her, too.

For once, I am out of my comfort zone. This sensation is entirely new to me. I want to talk to Harmony; it would be quite a relief to pour out all my feelings and share laughter with another person. I stop my musings at once. No. Friends are a weakness. Even as I think it, I can feel my body contradicting my beliefs by turning to face her fully. I ponder what she has just said. Does Harmony really believe in the end of the Hunger Games? I almost smirk; she is an optimist. That might be good. She could be the happiness to my grief. "That is if they end at all," I remind her cautiously. How foolish that I am guarding my opinion from this girl who has just heard me truly express my disgust for the Capitol. I half-smile again, hoping to soften my words with my facial expression.

I wonder what I would be like as an optimist. A completely different girl, for starters. The kind who does her homework, chatters in class, has friends. I would be like Harmony; I wouldn't be able to pull it off, though. "Hope," I say aloud. The word tastes foreign on my tongue. I wet my lips and say it again, louder. "Hope." This time, I sound confident as opposed to anxious. I relax visibly. Given my past, there has been little room for hope in my life. I have come to believe that the worst always happens, and when it doesn't, you should prepare for it to come. It is an unhealthy way of living. Perhaps, if I allowed myself to entertain the notion of hope, I could be a happier all around person. I bite my lip to hide my expression, not wanting Harmony to think that I am insane or unlikable. At this point, she likely already thinks badly of me.

Or not. "You're right when you say that people typically don't go blurting that kind of stuff out. But I wouldn't worry about it. It's better to say the truth than lying about things like that." Again, she talks. It occurs to me that we are having a conversation, and a musical bit of laughter bursts out of me. "I suppose it is, Harmony."

[/b] How appropriate. My laugh sounds like music and her name is Harmony. I resist the urge to chortle. This is a feeling so unusual to me, so light and carefree. I look at her face, and notice that she seems to be considering something. Before I can ask what's on her mind, she talks again. To me. I shake my head in disbelief. This is, in my opinion, positively incredible.

"I am glad that you are alright though. I am wondering though, would you like to continue this conversation over breakfast?" I am surprised, caught off guard. Never has anyone before asked me to breakfast. How are these things done? I am worried all of a sudden. One wrong move and she could hate me. Yet I sense Harmony is not that kind of person. If so, she would not be standing here and talking with an outcast like me. It is true that we can no longer stay in the trees. Although we wouldn't have to work for a few hours, Leilani would undoubtedly be headed outside by now, with Sir directly ahead of her, as usual. And if that was happening, the Peacekeepers would also arrive soon. They did not appreciate children scampering in the orchards, though we ourselves are hardly children. I toss my hands up in the air. I would be cruel to refuse, and ignorant to decline her offer. Companionship is good for the soul. And what have I got to lose?[/i]

"I mean, if you have already eaten, or have somewhere to be, I understand..." Harmony speaks quickly, as if not to pressure me into saying yes. I would have said yes regardless, truthfully. I wait. She isn't finished, I can tell. Besides, the last thing I would want to do is interrupt. "But if you are able to, it would be nice." Now she is finished, and much more comfortably than previously. I see her smile widen, and in reply, so does my own. "I would absolutely love to." I beam at her, and quickly recall my manners, prepared to thank her for the invitation formally. Rather, with my voice sounding considerably younger, I stumble over my wording and say something else instead. "I'm glad that you want to hang out with me." The sentence is barely audible, but the gratitude shines in my eyes.

Oh, this should be fun.
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мυтт Hunter [M:-150] 91 POSTS last seen Jul 4, 2012 17:05:21 GMT -5	a dark, dark world [open] Apr 29, 2012 9:02:42 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by мυтт on Apr 29, 2012 9:02:42 GMT -5 [ OOC: Yes, that's understandable. c: thanks! You're super nice. The same goes for you; take your time replying. xD ]
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pianoplayer
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a dark, dark world [open] May 1, 2012 18:37:25 GMT -5

Post by pianoplayer on May 1, 2012 18:37:25 GMT -5

(OOC: Aw shucks, thanks. You're pretty nice too you know

)

I am not the overpeppy girl who acts like a cheerleader the moment something goes right, but when Azalea said yes, and actually look like she wanted to go, I was fist pumping the air. In my mind of course, because how crazy would it look for me to randomly start doing that?!

"Well that makes two of us glad for some company." I tell her, both of us smiling now. I'm sure I look like a grinning fool, but I really could care less at this point. I mean, I know the girls around here well enough, but I don't really know them well enough for us to be good friends, or confidentes. There was Basil, but, well that was a long time ago, or at least it feels like. But I have never had a friend who is a girl, and I can't help but be a little jubilant.

Unfortunately, responsibility hits me like a brick in the head, and a small wrench falls into the plan. It's a tiny thing, but even tiny things can clog and ruin a plan. Oh well, might as well check with her; this is something I can just procrastinate until later. And she won't say anything to anyone about it, hmm? She wouldn't be one to do that, I don't think.

"Great, but before I can bring you over for Breakfast, I just remembered I have an errand to run- I have to check something along the edge of the orchards, you know where there's that patch of trees between the orchards and the neighbouring plot? I promise it will be quick, I just promised my parents I'd get it done this morning." I tell her, taking another breath before continuing. "It won't be long, but do you mind tagging along?" I watch her face for the expression, hoping that the happiness won't fade out of it.

мυтт
Hunter

[M:-150]

91 POSTS
last seen Jul 4, 2012 17:05:21 GMT -5

a dark, dark world [open] May 18, 2012 18:01:10 GMT -5

Post by мυтт on May 18, 2012 18:01:10 GMT -5

Doing. Thinking. Speaking. Hearing. Misc.

I was quite shocked at myself, honestly. First off, this way of conversing, with someone outside of my family unit or who was not a district regulator or school instructor? It was a foreign concept to me. It seemed easy enough from afar - open mouth, speak, close, wait for a reply. Yet when I tried making small talk, it emerged from my lips sounding stiff and awkward. My replies were uncomfortable and topics of discussion usually forbidden, as they showed some method of defiance to the Capitol. Slowly, after the death of my parents, I grew even stranger to my peers. But had I always been strange? And so they quickly learned to steer clear of me, which I was indifferent towards. It made no difference to me if they wanted to talk or not. I would just keep my mouth shut from then on, right? I did so easily. It was no problem. Or so I had thought.

The isolation had severely damaged my social skills, but it now seemed as if I was recovering from all my time in the dark. I looked at the delighted look on Harmony's face and realize that it is likely mirrored with my own expression. I stretched my face into a grin. How astonishing, that she is talking to me. I suddenly feared that this was a joke, that rather than have breakfast together, she would explode with laughter and leave me alone, with the declaration that it was all for show, her pretending to want my company. But no. She was too nice for such a crude act, I could tell already. Harmony would never do such a thing. A wave of shyness hit me like a rock, but in less than a moment I recovered. Sure, I was uneasy. It had been so long since I had been in the presence of someone who may be a potential friend. A potential friend. I think we were already on the way to a steady, friendly relationship.

"Well that makes two of us glad for some company." Yes, it did. I laugh softly, and the sound surprises me just a little. I pause and try to recall the last time I had laughed. My brain aches trying to resurface the memory; it does not arise. I'm not shocked at that. There hasn't exactly been much cause for laughter in my life these past few years. "It does,"

[/b] I reply quietly, and nod several times, mulling over the statement in my mind and agreeing. "Oh yes,"[/color] I admit openly, "I'm very glad for your company."[/color] With less pride, I speak again, my gaze downcast. "It's been so long since I've had a friend."[/b] The voice I use is nearly a whisper, but not yet at that low level. I brighten again, comforting myself with the thought that at least now I had Harmony. Kind of.

"Great, but before I can bring you over for Breakfast, I just remembered I have an errand to run- I have to check something along the edge of the orchards, you know where there's that patch of trees between the orchards and the neighbouring plot? I promise it will be quick, I just promised my parents I'd get it done this morning." Harmony says in response to my previous statement. I spoke just before she did, anyway; our statements nearly overlapped. I ought to talk to her first, though, before she replies to me. Again, though, her mouth is moving, and I quickly decide to pay attention to her words. "It won't be long, but do you mind tagging along?" I see her studying my face with caution, as if fearful that I won't agree to it. Why would I not? I give her a crooked little beam, content to follow her anywhere, so long as I had her company.

"Of course I wouldn't mind tagging along! Take all the time you need, Harmony," I add, not sure how to go about these things. "I enjoy going there, anyways."[/b] I lick my lips in hesitation, and then proceed. "I mean, sometimes-- no, most of the time-- in the morning, I go there by myself when I'm walking. But earlier in the morning, not ever as late as this. The Peacekeepers should be coming soon, anyway!"[/b] I say nervously, with a side-glance to my left. Yes, I am always out earlier than this. That's probably why I never see Harmony there. I am tempted to invite Harmony to my house after breakfast, but may be required to do field work instead. Anyways, that is too forward for us. I ought to take it slowly regardless. I haven't checked my requirements list to see if I have completed the necessary number of hours out in the orchards this week. Even though I probably have. I look eagerly at Harmony, facing her with expectation showing clearly in my facial expression."Well, let's go!"
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мυтт Hunter [M:-150] 91 POSTS last seen Jul 4, 2012 17:05:21 GMT -5	a dark, dark world [open] May 18, 2012 18:02:03 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by мυтт on May 18, 2012 18:02:03 GMT -5 [ OOC: Lol, thank you. And again, sorry for the super late reply. I've been extremely busy. D: ]
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