Ray Baitwell - d4 - FIN

My body is a temple. Maybe others don't notice (or maybe they do when I'm not paying attention) but I make sure to stay in shape. Hours of work in the gym have sculpted my muscles, much like every other Career around Panem. I am taller than most of my training partners though. I'm 6'3" and weigh more than most as well, my body fat content being almost as low as humanly possible. Eating right has helped me produce so much muscle on my bones. Learning to feed myself was almost it's own sort of training. From swallowing down raw eggs, and making nasty protein shakes for myself, and of course, eating fish after fish after fish, I've learned exactly what to eat and when to keep myself healthy. And I've become a pretty good cook if I don't say so myself.

My younger siblings are much like me in that way at least. My sister has blue-green eyes depending on the light and Reef and I have the same blue eyes with the occasional speckle of blue. Gotta thank my mom for that good grace upon me. We all have darker hair, but mine is by far the darkest. Most kids around District 4 have naturally sun-bleached hair, and even if they have darker hair when they are younger, it tends to become lighter with all the time spent in the sun. But not me. My hair is a completely brown and no matter how much time I spend running on the beach, it stays the same dark color. I keep it short. Not quite as short as some of the others in career training, but short enough that it stays out of the way during a fight.

Clothes are somewhat - I guess pointless in my opinion. When I go out somewhere I make sure to dress nice, and appropriately for the occasion, but I don't usually go out. I'm either at home, working on dad's boat, or training. And every single on of those tasks doesn't require much for clothes. I'm usually without a shirt, especially when I'm training and at home I usually only have a beater and boxers on. Simple shorts for training and boat work are all I really need for clothing. But Reapings and special games presentations always require cleaning up nice, so I make sure to keep a decent wardrobe.

I'm dedicated. To my family, to my training. It's all I really care about. Some people worry about the petty things, like what to wear or what there crush is doing, but that's not me. The only notable interactions I have are with with my family. No one else ever payed attention to me until Reef got himself arrested. There was no way for anyone to pay attention to me - I am too busy for anyone around District 4. Between working for my dad and training there is nothing else that I do. Sure there is the occasional meeting with a future sponsor or some one I happen to meet at the gym, but those things are necessary. I don't go on unnecessary dates - I only have time for those that help me gain thing. Knowledge, possibly money, anything that might help me in the future. But otherwise I'm just too busy for real dates with pretty girls who know nothing about me and only want to talk about Reef and how terrible it is to have an Avox for a brother.

But I don't mind too much about that. Yes, it makes me wonder if I should do what he did and get my own sort of fame for having my tongue cut out but I don't think that is the kind of thing I am yearning for. The void that I need filled can't be filled with the sort of 'pity fame' but only with glorious fame. The kind of fame only a victor gets. And I know that if I push myself hard enough now, it will be that much easier to achieve my life long goal later. There are always the obvious obstacles, such as school getting in the way of training, or Reef admirers interrupting me at the gym or during a run or other family gatherings that we have occasionally, but nothing can stop me. My eyes are on the victor crown and I intend to be wearing it by the time the next victory tour comes around. I know it's the only thing that will ever complete me, that will ever make me feel completely whole.

The only other thing that I find to be slightly entertaining is cooking, but that is part of my training in my opinion so I'm not sure if that counts as another interest of mine. I don't mind working on my dad's boat, but usually that requires being around Reef which is probably one of my least favorite things. So I usually stick to my training - long and hard all day. I know people talk about me, say I'm a little insane for caring so much about becoming a victor, some find me a bit cocky, thinking I even have a chance at becoming a victor, but I ignore the whispers I hear about me as best I can. I know it's only because they are jealous of me and my dedication to such an impossible goal. So I don't mind the things I hear. They only push me harder, only want me to prove everyone wrong that much more.

I was born the eldest child of the Baitwell family and fully understand what kind of responsibilities that requires. I'm supposed to represent my parents and their strength, supposed to be the best during training, better than any of the other kids, and I make sure I don't let them down. And it really is amazing how destiny works its way into your life. I was destined to shine. Destined to put an unforgettable mark on District 4. Destined for all kinds of greatness. Even as a child I knew I could be that kid. That kid that changed everything about a sport. I could not only win the Hunger Games, I could easily be remembered as one of the greatest victors Panem had ever seen. And I was determined to get there - to be Reaped, to be recognized, to win the Hunger Games. And so, from a very young age, I made sure to begin training. And not just for protection or 'just in case' like many others do, but because I wanted to.

Luckily, I have always had training partners. Just as I was starting school, my dad was sure to make sure to teach my to wrestle. He always boasted how only the strong survive, and if I want to be part of the strong, part of the group that survived, I needed to man up and do it fast. And I did learn. It took a bit of work, to get me into the routine of things, but my dad really was quite persistent. And then there was always my sister, Siren. Even as a 2 year old I was excited to learn I was gunna be an older brother. And it really was great. I got to teach her things as we got older, and she even taught me things. She is my best friend. Really, she is my only friend. I love her, and she is a great training partner too. It's per fect to have someone next to you during a morning run or an afternoon of spear throwing that cares about the Games. No one cares as much as I do, not even my sister, but at least I can always count on her to show up to training with me. Unlike Reef.

By the time I was 12, I could do most anything. Throw a spear, lift huge weights, shoot a bow and arrow, swing huge swords, and throw knives with great accuracy. I was the best, better than anyone my age in my little training group. Stronger, faster, smarter. Eventually, the only competition for me was my sister, and even that was a bit unfair. But when Reef got a bit older, I finally got my perfect competitor. But it was plain to see that he wasn't like me. He didn't want to be at training. He didn't want the glory of the Games. He wasn't dedicated - at all. And I hated it. He wasn't the strongest or fastest like me, but he knew everything he needed to know. I could punch and throw him to the ground, but he was smart. Much smarter than me. And it was infuriating. His smart ass comments, his being able to get out of any situation without the use of his fists or a knife - it was ridiculous. But our parents never really appreciated the mental part training, so I was still able to get all of the praise and slaps on the back. Reef never cared if he lost a fight though. he didn't want to improve. And I saw it as sick. He was given the great opportunity of Career training and he was throwing it away. He didn't even appreciate what our parents were able to get him.

When he could avoid training, he did. When he was dismissed from training early, he went home. If he had the option of taking dad's boat out to sea, he made sure he did. So, when he actually came to practice, I made sure to make his life just a little worse. Maybe if I punched a little harder or yelled a little more viciously at him he would think twice about skipping out on Career training. But he never cared. Losing didn't matter to him like it did to me. If I took a hit from a sparring partner, I stayed hours into the night making sure to find what I did wrong an dhow to counter it the next time. If I threw a spear and missed the center of the target, I threw thousands until i was sure I would never miss again. If I couldn't bench press more each day, I knew I only needed the punishment of thousands of push-ups, pull-ups, and curls to fix the problem. Yes, it hurts. Pain is required to reach any goal. Large or small, pain is what helps you push through to the finish line. Because if you deal with the pain long enough, you will finally reach your goal - and only then will the pain stop.

so I pushed and pushed and pushed myself. I could only get better. There is no such thing as perfect. And ever day required more and more work to keep improving. There was only one week I ever slipped up and missed a few days. And that was the week Reef got himself arrested. It was said that he had killed a Peacekeeper. Immediately I knew it wasn't true - that kid could barely stop shaking at the thought of holding a knife and now they were accusing him of murder. And although I hate him for causing me to slip up in my training, I knew I would miss him. He may not think like me and piss me off to no end, but he is my family - my little brother. I went back to training after the buzz died down a bit. After my parents stopped crying. But suddenly, I became popular. Everyone started walking up to me, suddenly caring about the big guy who cared about nothing but the Hunger Games. "Did Reef really kill a Peacekeeper?" "Your Ray, right? Reef's brother?" "Did they really turn him into an Avox?" With all the questions and people wanting to know me all of a sudden, my training schedule only became filled with more and more interruptions. Boys coming in to ask me how it happened, how he did it. Girls coming to ask if he was okay, and then upon actually noticing me, wonder if I was okay.

And it all got even more distracting when Reef got to come home. Turns out, just as I had suspected, it hadn't been Reef who had killed the Peacekeeper, but one of the most wanted drug dealers in the area. My parents were obsessed for a few days, swooning over him and his inability to speak. Mostly I wanted to get back to using the prick as a punching bag. He ruined all of my training because he was stupid enough to get caught sleeping next to a dead Peacekeeper. And now he was back at District 4. If I had thought he was bursting with popularity before I had been wrong. Avox boy was the new sensation of District 4 - and made me a little more well known be default because I was related to him. Now guys act like they know me, slapping me on the back, greeting me like we had been friends since childhood. Girls came up to me, giggling and asking stupid questions - and some even were idiots to think I would go on a date with them. And it was all because of Reef.

I don't want his glory. I want my own. And with everyone only talking to me and wanting to be around me so they can get to know him, I'm not sure I even want my own glory anymore. Everyone thinks they know me. That they understand. But they don't - I'm nit sure anyone will. I wish I could find that person who could get me and like to get to know me because I am a dedicated S.O.B. and loyal to everything I care about. But I'm sure I won't ever find that, especially with little Avox boy still running around. So I'm staying with the only love I have ever had. The only great thing that has been loyal to me - my training.