//:There:is:nothing:but:chemistry:[Sarella]

"Yah...sure." I say. I take another bite of the bread and get up. I open the front door and lean out a bit, then grab a bucket and come back inside. "Vomit in this." I say, and put it next to the sink. I'm not really in the mood for leaning up vomit. I'm never in the mood for cleaning up in hte first place. I take a bite of my bread again and go back to my chair.

I only knew Jerry for about two months. That was it. But it was still time. I mumble, and even I can barely make out what I said. If I wasn't the one saying it, anyways. I know he is though. It was pretty obvious in the first place. I take a slow bite of the bread and stare at the wall, thinking about it. What did I say though? I know what I said. I don't remember Mollie, repeat it. No, remember yourself. I don't think you even said it. I did. No you didn't. You just think you did. But I did.

I stare at him like he's the one who's lost his mind. No one ever asked me who Jerrry was, they just ignored me and kept doing whatever they were doing. I stare at him a bit longer then bite my bread. There's only about two bites left, and I'm not as hungry as before. "Jerry was a boy who helped for for a little while after my dad abandoned me." I think of how to say the next part very carefully. "When the bad people took him away I-I" I don't want to finish that sentence because the answer is I went insane. I don't like that answer though, because I know I am. It'd be alright if I was unaware of it, but I recognize it when I sleep for three days stright, I recognize it when I talk to myself, I recognize it when people I know appear out of no where and talk to me.

I cover my face with my hands. I don't want to remember. I don't! I don't! "Those bad people. The ones that run around all day long hurting people! The ones I'm too scared to go outside because of! I hate them! I hate them!" I say, and then I break. I sob and sob. I try to remember what the bad people are called, but it won't surface to my mind. It frightens me, and I don't liked being scared. "They hurt him." I add between a sob. Peacekeeper. That's what they are called. A terrible name for terrible people.

More like the Keepers. Crueltykeepers. Mollie. What? Where'd they take him? I don't know. Yes you do. No. If I know you know. You don't know either then. Mollie. What? Stop that. I shove the rest of the bread in my mouth and chew, then swallow hard.

I scowl. He is not going to come back, I know it. I don't need to be told. Why should I? Mollie don't make me remind you. I don't want to be reminded. I can't remember, if I do know. I can't remember seeing it. Seeing what? You must remember if you remembering seeing something. But I don't! I didn't see it! What's it? Roux doesn't know how many times I've tried forgetting. It always comes back, one day or another. I might spend a mont not thinking about Jerry, then suddenly something will remind me of him and it'll be over. I'll go right back to where I began. Like seeing Roux looked like Jerry.

"I could move on if I wanted to." My mind voice says. Wait - my mind says? That doesn't sound right. My mind doesn't talk, I do. Well, maybe it does. I said that. No, you didn't say anything. I just said that, and Roux heard it, too. But I'd never say something like that. I can't move on, remember? Yes you can, you just don't want to. I want to! I can't though, you know that! That's what you think. But then that's what we both think. Mollie, you don't want to forget him and you know it. You're scared. You think he'll come back. But.. he can't come back, can he? It'd be near impossible, and would risk his life if he did. You know he wouldn't try though, so give up. Thanks for the pep talk, mind.

I need to stop with these mind conversations. They aren't helping me much. I look up at the ceiling, where the constant drip of water taps onto Roux's shoe. I should ge tthat fixed. Somehow. A rag? No, that wouldn't do. The ceiling would be soggy, and the raining going on right now would soak through the rag.