Silveя Liиiиg [Sunny]

He glared at Hopper, his eyes flashing angrily. He dared not speak, he knew that he would snap, harsh words dripping from his lips. They would cut into the sick boy; they would rip him and strip away every emotional shield he had built up. Tiberius was a seasoned fighter, he had fought and witnessed many fights, and he had fought fights with words as well as feet, hands and fists. And a boy of Hopper’s standing was not a boy you wanted to upset if you wanted him to understand and listen. But Tiberius was not stupid and he knew being kind, allowing his tone to soften, to become sweet and tender, the boy needed the cruel truth, understanding and help. Tiberius gave him a cold hard look, as he mumbled away, his eyes shifting from his own, flickering to the carpet, everywhere except for Tiberius cold, cool gaze. In any other situation he would have found the open display of vulnerability and weakness amusing. He would have felt contempt curl his lips and superiority make him hold himself higher, but not now.

Now he only felt disgust and anger at the boy. Here Tiberius was trying to help and he wanted to hear nothing, here the boy condemned his words as carelessly as he would fuck his own brother. Tiberius knew of love, Tiberius knew of the want of a person, he knew how it ached in your chest to think of them, to see yourself smile and never saw it returned. He had faced days where he had wanted to just run up to Shadow and kiss him with all the passion of a burning fire, but he had will power, he had strength and the desire to not want to end their friendship. He had seen boys declare their love to girls; friendships that they had builded for years and years were destroyed with three silly words that could never be taken back.

Tiberius knew the stupidity of telling others that you love them, more so your own family, that would end you, that would destroy you. It took strength to keep it in with you. Besides, love was never a one way thing, true love the love that grew between two people, the love that made one person cry when the other did. It was not something that was given to one person. Love was meant for two people and if the other person did not feel the same way as you did it was not true love. You cannot force yourself upon a person; you cannot bend them and change them to be in love with you. Hopper was ignorant and stubborn; he was being stupid, blinded by his own wants and desires. And Tiberius knew everything that was running through his head, he knew exactly how it felt to love someone, but know they did not love you back.

No one should have to do what Hopper did, and Tiberius was not going to let him do it again. Not only was it vile and disgusting it was wrong, to do what Hopper did was wrong and it was rape. The words sprung to his mind and he stared blankly at Hopper, the word, the single word and yet from what Hopper had told him it was true. Distaste filled him, but he hurriedly hid it behind expressionless eyes. If he wanted to help the sick boy it would do him no good showing him how he truly felt.

Hopper spoke. The words flying from his lips with hidden desperation that Tiberius could feel, he felt it the way he felt clothes on his skin, a voice in his ear. He knew how to read people, he knew how they worked, and he knew that Hopper was desperate. And yet Hopper talked and yet Hopper tells Tiberius he would to it all again. He has the nerve to speak so disgustingly. Tiberius closes his eyes. Disappointment, anger and disbelief mingled together in him, he fought it back, not wanting it to hinder his voice when he spoke. He would not let Hopper see his true feelings. Fighting to keep his emotions bottled up in him he opened his eyes to the boy that would not look at him. He was a thin small thing, because underneath the lean muscles there was this hollow shell of a boy that had no strength or will power. He was weak, it was obvious, it clung to him, the false love he felt was there and Tiberius did not want it there. He wondered if Hopper had even heard a thing he had said.

The boy said that a second chance would not work and yet here he was, Tiberius had given him his second chance, he was offering him a hand, a helping hand to pick him up and fix him. But he brushed it away with the careless manner of a person who said they wanted to stop, but deep down they only spoke it because they knew that if they said it people would feel for them. But really Hopper did not want to stop and for that Tiberius only felt disgust towards the victor’s brother. And yet it was pity and the want to stop what he was seeing that made him stay. He was not going to let Hopper leave this house until he could tell Tiberius that he would not go back out there and try to screw one of his brothers.

”Well, you better make yourself comfortable, because you are not leaving my house until you can tell me that you will never screw one of your brothers again.” A harsh smirk flickered across his lips, he had kept people here before, people who owed him money, but who were reluctant to tell him where they kept it. Tiberius knew how to do this, so if he said Hopper would stay here, weakened, sick Hopper would stay here. “Before you say another word you will listen to me. Hopper love is not what you feel for Klaus. Do you want to know why?” He paused, “love is between two people, love does not come unbidden to one person where the other feels nothing. And you cannot say I know nothing, I was in love with a boy, I loved him so much that I killed for him. But he did not love me back. I ached everyday of my life knowing that I loved him, but he did not feel the same to me.”

“It was then that I knew that it was not real. Tell me Hopper Goravich: How can leave be between one person and the person they love? Is love not meant to be a thing where both feel the same? There is no such thing as you loving Klaus You cannot love him because he does not feel the same way. Therefore it is not real. It took me three years to accept that, I did it by myself. I still hurt and yearn for him, but you Hopper Goravich will get over this crazy idea, you will never think of your siblings in that way again and if you do I will be there. Because when I had no one I needed someone. Now you have me here to help you and there is not a god damn thing you can do about it to change it.”

He took a deep breath, folding his arms stubbornly across his chest he eyed Mr. Goravich and ghost of a grin flickered across his face, he could not yet see what he found funny, but there was something about this that made him just want to laugh, but he bit it back. He knew it would not help.

Tiberius still loved Shadow. He was positive he would love the dangerous young boy for a very long time. He knew that love could simply not fade, but he would also look at himself every morning and remind himself that it wasn’t real love. He would stare blankly into his reflections eyes, telling himself, repeating it over and over again until he was sure he would not think for a second that day about the boy. The only thing was that he could never do it. Up in the mansion where he lived he saw Shadow every single day, hell the two of them worked together, making drugs and selling them. Only a few weeks ago had Tiberius started going away and doing it himself. He knew Shadow would hate him for it, but he could not bear to look at Shadow and the silly boy he flirted with every single day.

”I don’t want to sell anything today, because-“

”Tiberius.”

”that stupid brat is coming with us, you said-“

”Tiberius, listen.”

”What, Shadow?”

”He is coming. He is joining our business soon, he needs to know how to do it.”

”Well then I’m not coming with you.”

”Tiberius-“

”Save it Shadow.”

It was like a song in his head, non-stop and repeating, over and over again. He heard it every time he thought of the shaggy, brown haired boy he loved. He thought of it every time he wanted to kill the other boy, the boy he didn’t even know, and the boy he had not even learnt the name of and yet he hated him more then he had ever hated a person in his life. Yet Shadow had been so persistent, so wanting, and Tiberius couldn’t refuse him, so instead he had cracked it and walked out. He could remember Shadow calling his name and it bit into his chest with every step he took.

He wanted more than anything to turn around and tell Shadow everything to spill his fear and pain, to whisper “I love you.” But he couldn’t, not now and not ever.

”Do you still love him?” The words leap from Hopper’s lips and hit me like a slap in the face. I take a weary step backwards and away from him as if moving will make him forget, make it never come true, make it hurt less than it did. “Yes, I do, but I can’t and I will stop, because I have to, just like you do.” He replied. His words where edged with frost and he was almost shocked at the ice that seemed to cling from them, he wasn’t being very polite.

A snort escapes his lips as Hopper keeps talking, his hand moves to the drugs that had nearly well killed him, he takes them out and your eyes follow as he swings them, pointing to them. He was using the things as an excuse, the reason why he had done everything bad, but then it was always the same. People need something other then themselves to blame for their problems, no real person ever has the courage to blame them self for there own mistake, Hopper, in that way was no different from any other person.

"Here I was thinking you were different. You sure proved me wrong with a few words." He bite back more ruse words. Nothing was going to happen if Tiberius kept teasing and bullying the boy, he knew that. Yet he also knew that this boy needed the real truth, he needed to be told straight out that something was wrong with him, that he was ignorant, arrogant and stupid.

"Whenever you are around me never make excuses. The reason you took those drugs is because you could, it is because you wanted to. There is no other reason why, people lie and make shit up about that stuff because they can't blame themselves. You took drugs because you wanted to. You fucked your brother because you could." He would have none of it. People like Hopper did not take lightly to Tiberius, but if he was going to help him he would do it the right way.

"You are the only person to blame for your mistakes, for your choices, there is nothing that can change that."

The air seemed to grow colder with each sentence that they spoke. The warmth was drained from the very air they breathed as their icy replies and cold eyes took in one another. He wasn’t exactly sure what was happening anymore, words seemed to just be spilling from each of their lips, cruel words and he was positive that if they didn’t stop this soon one of them –knowing just how curious and strange their pasts were- was going to say something that they wouldn’t be able to unsay. Tiberius was not ready for anything of that kind. He wanted to resolve this; he wanted to forget everything he had said. He knew he had said too much, he had pointed out too many things. Most of those things would have been better left for another day. Another time, when there wasn’t one of them lying on the couch having almost died from a drug over dose. Drugs that belonged to him.

Besides, Hopper had said way too much. He had told Tiberius things that Tiberius was positive that no one in his family even knew, that no one knew, in fact. Things that you shouldn’t just tell to some stranger you had known for only a few hours. This conversation had had too many confessions and too many offers. Tiberius was a reluctant person, he didn’t help people, and he only did his job and preferred to stay in the shadows, away from other people’s attention. Yet, he had already suggested more and offered –well not really offered- up his home to Hopper. These kind of suggestions where never done lightly, with normal people, normal people talked and discussed, they didn’t bully and tease and basically force some random stranger to stay at your house. Ha. It wasn’t even his house; he had taken it from a dead customer.

This day had turned so weird and so incredibly fast Tiberius knew he would have to shut up soon. He needed to walk away before he said something, or made an offer that was far too ridiculous. He had already given away a lot of information, too much information.

Hopper speaks again, but Tiberius is taken aback by the harsh tone. He takes a surprised step backwards, I if trying to get away from the demanding tone, and the cruel edge that curved to each word that he spoke. ”I came to you asking for drugs because I wanted to kill myself with them. I hadn’t meant to do it in front of you, but that was my intent. I still want to but I don’t think I’m going to get very far with that now since you’re trapping me here because apparently I’m giving excuses when all I’m doing is telling you the truth!” The bag of drugs reappears, in Hopper’s grasp and Tiberius reflects bitterly that maybe he should have taken the drugs from him before, just in case he wanted to finish what he had started.

On instinct he takes a step forward, ready to snatch the drugs away from Hopper. Ready to grab them before he can end his life, as he had already tried to. Tiberius, in all honesty truly despised those who tried to end their own lives. Suicidal people, to him, where simply trying to find the easy escape. To him, they had no courage and they only wanted to end their lives because they didn’t want to face their wrongs, they wanted to run from them and try and hide them. They were cowards in his eyes, people who were scared, people who only thought of themselves. In that way they were selfish. They wanted to end their lives, but they never seemed to think of the consequences that doing that would have. He eyed the bag of drugs uncertainly, his stomach churned at the thought of Hopper wanting to kill himself again.

Suddenly Tiberius no longer wanted to be there. He presses his lips together into a thin line, annoyed and angered at the boy who sat before him. There never seemed to be an end to his problems and there never seemed to be an end to his need to spill them all. Tiberius had never had so many things suddenly told to him, secrets, of the darkest kind and it was taking its toll on him. He was shocked and appalled, stunned and had the strange want to sit down and help Hopper. It was as though he was some little child that just needed someone to help him and Tiberius felt the urge and the need to be that person. But of course he held himself backwards, he wasn’t that kind of person and yet he had already offered to help Hopper, he had already offered ‘his’ home and his own help.

”I didn’t mean that. Er – yes, I-I did mean all that, but… I didn’t mean to be angry about it.” A lingering sigh escapes Tiberius’ lips. “It’s alright Hopper, it is my fault too. I’m saying things that don’t need to be said. If you want to I can show you a bedroom for you to stay in?” He turned to indicate the stairs that lead up to the next floor, but before he did the drug packet catches his attention, without hesitating he walks forward and snags the bag from Hopper’s grasp. “I don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore.” A sly grin spreads across his face, daring Hopper to challenge him.