Gimme Something to Remember // [Open]

and so the sky becomes a dream
i never dreamt because i'm just too busy
waiting for nothing and wasting away
and so the sky, it watched my dreams fall to pieces right in front of me
'cause i'm just too busy waiting for nothing and wasting away

“Well, we're all going to die one day, some of us sooner rather than later. Death is the most common thing in the world and it's something... something you have to accept.”

Some part of me squirms uncomfortably at the unwanted realization that in this respect, at least, I agree with Viridian Harper. He and I know better than anyone at this table that death is something inevitable, that it swoops in and rips the most important people in your life away with icy, unforgiving fingers. Death, like Fate, is not something that can be denied, despite how many people spend their whole lives running from one or the other. But I don’t want to share anything with him, with this pampered prince of the First District who probably thinks I’m little more than dirt beneath his feet. I don’t want to share anything with any of them. Those ties would be hard to sever, and knowing their names will make it hard enough. So rather than give into the sudden urge toput a hand on his shoulder and assure him that I know all to much about the place he’s coming from, I only scowl, stabbing at my salad like it’s a doomed Tribute. “I have accepted it. Doesn’t mean I have to be so damn chipper in the face of it. You’d think you lot were going to the frickin’ carnival.”

Somewhere in the midst of the banter, the girl from Two joins us, her voice raspy and yet airy all at once as she orders alligator, grinning at the plate sat in front of her. One of my eyebrows quirks up, but I don’t break the sudden silence that settles over the table just yet. There’s something about her that screams dangerous in the most unassuming of ways, and judging by the tension in the air, I’m not the only one who feels it.

“Tastes like chicken, yeah?” I finally ask, met universally with odd looks from everyone else. “We get ‘em sometimes in Four. It’s really not bad; you guys should try it while you have the chance.”

All of the sudden I feel horribly out of place, broody and awkward in the face of Viridian’s cool self-assurance, Ashby’s mousy little voice, District Two’s off-kilter beauty. I was never one for company even before all this, and now as I look around at my table-mates all I can fathom are brief half-second visions of all of them dead, bleeding out or starving or wasting away from some hideous Gamemaker’s disease. Odd. I’d have never thought that lunch with a bunch of corpses could be so lively.

and i'd never wish for anything more than to find what i've been looking for
and i swore to myself i wouldn't lie to myself
how could i let this happen?
so i take myself aside to take the time to tell myself its alright
'cause you weren't there to dry my eyes