It Can Only Get Better (Axel)

Anna Banana
Capitol Resident

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Making things happen one day at a time

It Can Only Get Better (Axel) Jun 17, 2013 21:22:40 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Jun 17, 2013 21:22:40 GMT -5

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I could tell immediately that Maybe didn't like the arraingment that I had proposed, but it was harder to decide if that was because the alcohol was affecting her or because she really didn't like the idea. In turn even I began to wonder if it was a good idea, just another wonderful side affect of drinking I guess, you began to second guess yourself. What had formerly seemed like a brilliant plan that could rival something designed by the most brilliant minds in Panem seemed stupid and shallow now. Funny how things worked like that, even funnier that I could so easily read Maybe's emotions now, just a simple look at her face was enough to tell me that my plan didn't appeal to her. She was losing it though, so any chance at a real conversation was slowly slipping away. Ever the mother figure, and ever sober, Maybe had finally succumbed to the power of the drink, at least it was only fits of giggles though.

Or at least it was only giggles for the next five minutes, that quickly turned into her leaning into me as if to kiss me, and then drawing quickly away to jump up and dance about the room. There was something endearing about her childlike bliss though, a welcome change from her well kept guise of seriousness and strict discipline. She danced alone, skipping around to the beat of her own heart, without a care in the world, that was until she reached me again and she took my hand pulling me up beside her. I honestly didn't feel the desire to join her until I was there beside her, dancing around in complete bliss, a feeling that wasn't usually something I felt unless drugged. Maybe it had something to do with the gentle kiss that she placed on my lips, creating a haze that clung to every sensible thought in my mind and blocking it out.

That had to be why I barely heard what she was saying, something about enjoying each others company, but that didn't make any sense considering we always enjoyed each others company even before our feelings had been revealed. Was she referring to my plan to keep us a secret? I had no idea, all I could think of was how much stupid I had been to not realize my feelings for Jesse before now. The nervous pitter patter of my heart seemed so loud as our dancing slowed, and the sound of our footsteps no longer bounced off the walls around us. Giving Jesse's hand a gentle squeeze I pulled her along towards the large bed that sat against the wall. It wasn't much, it was the musty old remains of the bed that was once used by the master of this house and his wife, but it was one of the only beds that was still largely in one piece.

I pulled her along with me until we reached the bed, and for a few uncomfortable seconds I just looked at the bed wondering what exactly I was thinking. Nothing that made any sense actually, a tangle of emotions all ending with an image of me sleeping in the bed beside Jesse. It was something the two of us had done so many times, so why did it seem to scare me now that our feelings for each other were out. Never the less I proceeded with the one thought that was in my head, and I crawled onto the sheets pulling Jesse up with me. Despite their poor condition they were still soft to the touch, and I found it easy to just lay back, gently pushing Jesse down beside me. "I...I mean we...we can take advantage of no one being here you know...there is no sense in letting this room go to waste. Why don't we just, test it out and see if it's worth fixing."

I inched a little closer to Jesse, my heart rate accelerating as the space between us closed. Our shoulders brushed lightly against each other, and I felt a blush creeping across my face. There was something different about this, but my confused mind was incapable of placing exactly what it was. The insatiable desire to be closer to her, the desire to kiss her, it all seemed so feral and yet...pure in its own way. It was like every feeling I had for Jesse previously had been magnified since we had kissed, and I couldn't help but wonder if the feelings boiling over in my chest were the same feelings within her bosom.

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It Can Only Get Better (Axel) Jun 18, 2013 14:24:24 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Jun 18, 2013 14:24:24 GMT -5

Jesse Schellden

A quiet hum escaped through Maybe's lips to fill the room, some fort of music for the two girls spinning as if in the Capitol. Even when Maybe was younger a care-free moment rarely arrived. Now all she wanted to do was continue twirling and giggling, with only a light tune guiding them. Plus the feeling of Mary Ellen's hands intertwined with Jesse's was like nothing else, for just a few moments nothing else mattered. For once she understood why everyone escaped into drinking or drugs, to receive this careless feeling not very common in District Twelve. It was more then just that for Jesse though, because it was the company she was with. Maybe it was best to keep this a secret, how would the family react to such happiness.

It wasn't the right time to be dancing all night, and though they did for a bit, they both eventually began slowing down. A smile never left Jesse's face, but a small chuckle interrupted the silence, she just felt that it was cute they both stopped without saying anything. As silly as that is, for a drunken Maybe it was pretty entertaining. Her stomach grew butterflies though, because now that they didn't have dancing distracting them all she wanted to do was kiss Mary Ellen. The drinks were certainly began to control Jesse's mind who never before had an issue with holding herself back. The best thing to do was just to follow Mary Ellen's lead until she couldn't hold back any longer.

This was unexpected but the next location they were headed for was the bed, the butterflies going uncontrollable in Jesse's stomach once they stopped. For just a few seconds Mary Ellen hesitated, and certainly the same exact thought went through both of their heads at the same time. Even after countless number of nights sharing the same sleeping spot, why did it feel so different now? Nothing bad, just much different. The drinks were convincing Jesse she liked the idea, especially the one of sleeping snuggled into Mary Ellen's arms. She looked over at her for approval, some kind of sign she didn't feel like this entire thing was wrong or a mistake. Then of course, Jesse followed her onto the bed to get cozy.

There was this new feeling that came along with laying besides Mary Ellen, a giddy feeling like her heart was going to explode in a good way. The way she takes a little bit of control without even realizing it, that happens often without anyone noticing...possibly not even Mary Ellen herself. "But lets not go to sleep yet." Jesse responded to her suggestion of testing out the bed, clearly that wasn't what she meant, but Jesse had to make sure that was clear. If Mary Ellen fell asleep on her she wouldn't be able to get the million kisses she wanted. Who knows the last time they'd have quality time away from the family.

With Mary Ellen taking away the space in between them, Jesse brought it upon herself to also remove the distances between their lips. Just feeling close to her was enough, but her kiss just made everything perfect...even better it felt right. Jesse couldn't help herself from lacing her fingers in Mary Ellen's hair, as close as they were it some how felt to bring them even closer. After everything that occurred today it was crazy to think this was where they were now, never being able to predict this before. Now though Jesse didn't know why she hadn't known already, only unknown feelings gave a hint before the kiss occurred. The kiss now though was even more unbelievable, because if it was possible Jesse would stay here the remainder of her life.

It was a difficult debate between the kissing or holding being better, because as enjoyable as the kissing was, there was something even more special about Mary Ellen's hugs. A protective guard of some sort, safe passage, roof from the storm, it was something unexplainable. Does she feel the same way when Jesse embraced her? She trailed her hand down Mary Ellen's side, feeling the outline of her ribs from not eating enough, and wrapping her arm around her lower back as if it was actually possible to pull her closer.

For a split second Jesse was distracted from the kissing, and pulled away. "You have hips." She stated a little shocked for some reason her eyes growing wide, but quickly returning to the kiss. Jesse was kissing a girl, and as confusing as it was, it all seemed right and natural. "I like um." Her words were beginning to be a little slurred, but she didn't want Mary Ellen to think that hips were a bad thing.

So Many Different Personalities

Anna Banana
Capitol Resident

[M:-4150]

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Making things happen one day at a time

It Can Only Get Better (Axel) Jun 25, 2013 21:21:40 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Jun 25, 2013 21:21:40 GMT -5

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I had inched closer to Jesse with no intent of kissing her again, rather I was hoping to just be close to her, feel her warmth against my skin, listen to her gentle heartbeat as we lay together in bed. Apparently she had different plans though, I crept a little closer to her only to have her close the remaining distance between us by turning over and pressing her lips into mine again. I couldn't complain though, her lips fit perfectly against mine, and my heart flaired whenever she kissed me. The irrepressible surge of feelings that swept through me, all the feelings that I had previously kept hidden, they were free now, I didn't have to hold them back anymore. She was full of surprises right now though, the kiss had barely begun before I felt her hand in my hair. It was a shocking feeling for me, I had not expected her to make a move like that, a kiss yes, but to have her hand in my hair...it surprised me.

It seemed like everything was moving so fast now, after we had both let our feelings be known everything was moving so quickly. It was as if all this time our feelings had been building within us until we could no longer hide them. To think it had been a momentary slip of my mind that had caused this, the simple movement of me leaning into her had brought all of this on. How could I regret this, I was living something I had believed only to be a fantasy only half an hour ago. As I had said before, it all seemed so feral, like the longing that had been within both of us was striving to get out. We could no longer kiss each other enough, or hold each other close enough to satisfy that feeling that was within either of us. I couldn't decide whether it was the alcohol that was causing me to think this way...or maybe the alcohol was only serving to make that feeling swell within me, it was hard to tell.

There was little time to have that personal debate within my mind though. I felt Jesse's hand tracing down my side, a trail of goosebumps forming in the wake of it, and then pulling me in as her arms settled on my lower back. She pulled away from me with a mixture of shock and delight on her face, exclaiming that I had hips, and I couldn't help but feel my heart leap within my chest when she said it. While it was a little insulting to think that before now she hadn't believed I had any, there was a stonger feeling of delight and...something else...something I couldn't explain. Her lips pressed into mine again and I could her muffled voice telling me that she liked them. That was about the last thing I could handle, what little shred of awareness that I had seemed to slip away from me, out of my grasp. My own arms wrapped around Jesse, closing the last few inches that separated us, and I rubbed her back gently.

"I'm glad that you like my hips, even if you were shocked that I had them, yours aren't that bad either." I let out a soft giggle and trail kisses along her forehead and then back down to her lips, as my hands slip underneath the hem of her shirt, running over her smooth skin. "You're...just as soft...as...as you look." I could feel beads of sweat forming along my forehead, and I couldn't tell whether it was because I was nervous or because the alcohol had finally gotten to me. I wanted to be in this bed with Jesse, I wanted her to run her hands over my skin, I wanted to feel her touch, I wanted to feel her lips against mine. I smiled lovingly at her, not bothering to hide what I was feeling from her, and pressed my lips gently into hers again.

"I've known for a long time that I had feelings for you Jesse...I had just been so afraid to say anything. I didn't want...I was afraid...if you knew what my feelings were you might be disgusted with me. I think now though...I think I can...I can say...I...I love you Jesse, I always have. Before now I was afraid to tell you, to tell myself, but now things have changed, I'm not afraid to tell you. I don't feel afraid anymore though, I've never felt more sure of anything, I've never felt more sure of...of...of my feelings before. I love you Jesse, with all my heart." I ran my fingers in small circles on her back, a tingling sensation running up my arm as I felt her smooth, soft skin, something I had never believed I would feel.

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It Can Only Get Better (Axel) Jun 30, 2013 17:30:45 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Jun 30, 2013 17:30:45 GMT -5

Jesse Schellden

Everything was happening so fast, like a bomb went off and changed all Jesse knew. Well for what was happening currently at least, but there was nothing more important than the person she was lying next to. To think only a short time before she watched Mary Ellen nervously attempt to hide the fact she attempted to kiss her. Now everything was out in the open, and they clearly couldn't get enough of it. It had to of been the alcohol because this was very unlike Jesse. Drinking wasn't what she did in the first place, but the first kiss probably wouldn't have happened without it. Or maybe it was that drinking made Jesse more open, taking away her power of control.

That had to be it; Jesse was under the power of Mary Ellen's lips, even if she was starting the kissing. How was she going to resist not showing affection while not alone? Hopefully it was the drinking and not just the grasp the beautiful girl beside her held. Currently she didn't have to worry about that, they were alone, and she still had time to kiss as much as she can. As long as Mary Ellen didn't figure out the power she held over Jesse, she couldn't use it...right? Jesse was the sober one of the household anyways, and a clear mind would probably help a lot.

It was the way Jesse perfectly fitted with Mary Ellen, and the way she held her back. Her light giggle still managed to fill the room; she enjoyed the compliment of the hips, as silly as it was. Normally that comment would be stupid, and the laugh following would confirm that, but her laugh didn't say that. Especially because she exchanged the compliment back, making Jesse not feel like an idiot for once. She was used to saying a mistake, something ridiculous that would make everyone crack up. But Mary Ellen didn't make her feel that way. "Thanks." Jesse matched Mary Ellen's giggle, a bit of pink creeping to her cheeks.

Now they were both embracing one another, soft fingers tracing down Jesse's back. Mary Ellen's touch was never truly felt until tonight, but it certainly was comforting. The flash of the most genuine smile Jesse had witnessed from her brought this warmth into her heart; all of a sudden they were on the same page of the same book like never before. She understood someone more than ever, and that was something on account Jesse had a way of understanding anyone.

The sweet smile was followed by a more in depth explanation of Mary Ellen's feelings. It had to be the nicest thing anyone has ever shared with Jesse. After everything with her family, she expected for noone to care for her this much. That was why Jesse had such a soft heart for caring about anyone and everyone, to avoid having it back. The last thing she wanted was to feel happy to have everything taken away from her. But Mary Ellen was different, the only thing that could possibly take her from Jesse's grasp was the Capitol...and even them would have to suffer with a fight. Her eyes never left Mary Ellen's as she admitted her thoughts.

A light blush filled in Jesse's face, the alcohol preventing it from being tomato red. There was also this feeling in her heart, like Mary Ellen was holding it herself. "I love you to." Jesse whispered with a smile appearing on her face. A strain of hair covered Mary Ellen's beautiful eyes, and Jesse removed her hand from Mary Ellen's hip for a second to brush it behind her ear. Her eyes were so capturing, and it'd be a shame to hide even one. Certainly Jesse could include her version of how she felt before, but suddenly she was taken out of her drunken vision.

Just a bit too low, a small touch of Jesse's unwanted mark on her lower back toke away all the liquor in her system. Maybe Mary Ellen knew about the stain there, the horrible words and claim, but if not she wasn't ready to share that. Not with all the happy feelings, at least Jesse herself hasn't been this happy in a while. Quickly she changed her expression, being too distracted at first to contain it to stay happy.

The drunk feeling was still sort of there, but it felt like she pulled off casually turning around before Mary Ellen had a chance to feel more. Jesse pulled herself close again, her lower back completely against Mary Ellen's stomach as if it was protecting her. At least the feeling of her hands in Jesse's was just as special. Right under her rosy cheek was where Jesse secured them, her hands still intertwined with them.

So Many Different Personalities

Anna Banana
Capitol Resident

[M:-4150]

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Making things happen one day at a time

It Can Only Get Better (Axel) Jul 6, 2013 21:45:42 GMT -5

Post by Anna Banana on Jul 6, 2013 21:45:42 GMT -5

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How many people could boast what I do, how many people could boast that they have found the person that makes them happy. In truth I had found her a long time ago, but it had taken this long for me to realize just how much she meant to me, that she was the one person in my life that I loved and cared about. I have always been a selfish girl, the feelings of other people never seemed to get in the way of any decisions I ever made. The same couldn't be said for Jesse though, I had always felt a pang of guilt when she caught me drinking or using drugs, and vowed to be a better person. Of course things like that were always easier said than done, and I was about as bad an addict as you can get. Years and years of the stuff weren't easily going to be cast aside...no matter how much I loved the person who wanted me to stop.

When I had started doing it all it was simply a way for me to ease the pain and suffering that I had to go through. Glancing briefly at the two medical bracelets on my wrist I wondered if had those blue and red bands not been on my arm...would I have been any different? As much as I would like to say I would have been I...honestly don't believe I would have been...medical problems or not my life was still terrible. I was faced with disappointment and abuse when I was younger, not to mention the abandonment, it was my own families fault that I had gotten the diseases I had, left to fend for myself. Had I gotten the care and medicine necessary at the time I contracted them I wouldn't be in this position. Of course if I had all the care I needed, if I hadn't gotten the diseases, if I hadn't run away...I would never have met Jesse and I never would have found happiness.

Right now I had reached a level of happiness I felt I could never reach, a moment of pure ecstasy, something that could never be duplicated ever again. To have Jesse tucked against me as she was now, it was something...and I'll be honest...I had never envisioned in my wildest dreams. This isn't to say in the slightest that I didn't want it or love it, but it seemed to surreal to have her here with me now. Professing my love to her, it took a lot of guts to do it, finally admitting that I had feelings for her, that I had loved her. Of course who was to say if it was my feeling at all that had played a part in that, or if the alcohol that was running through my blood stream had affected me...either way I had told her...and we were together now. This could all be nothing more than drunken banter between the two of us, a pitiful joke brought on by the fog in our minds...if it was though I was going to make it last...I was going to love every second.

Sliding an arm around Jesse I pulled her closer into me, and slipped my hand under the thin fabric of her shirt, resting it on her stomach. I grazed my finger tips along the soft skin of her stomach, and then her side before pulling her tighter against me, my hands pressed firmly against her stomach. "You're really soft Jesse, I can't get enough of feeling how smooth and soft you are, it's like a new drug, I can't get enough of it." Brushing her hair behind her ear I nipped it quickly before kissing along her cheek and then the corner of her lips. "I'm not sure if I can keep this is secret, it might kill me, unable to touch you or kiss you, waiting until we're alone. I would feel alone every second I'm not with you the way I want to be, unable to show you how much I love you, only a small smile able to pass between the two of us."

I pulled her on top of me and kissed the tip of her nose, a gentle, little kiss that traveled to her lips. I was slow to pull away, insistent on feeling all the love and caring in the kiss, all the love that should have been mine so long ago. My arms wrapped tightly around her holding her as close as she could possibly be. "I love you Jesse, you've given me something that I thought I would never have...a reason to live, you've given me a reason to be happy. I didn't think I would ever find anything that made me happy again...at least not anything aside from the drugs or drink...but I have something tangible now, something...I can have forever."

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It Can Only Get Better (Axel) Jul 12, 2013 14:55:44 GMT -5

Post by Cameo {RIP Charlie} on Jul 12, 2013 14:55:44 GMT -5

Jesse Schellden

The protection of being in Mary Ellen's arms was slowly erasing the horrible burn that lingered on Jesse's back. It was a usual subtle pain that worked as a reminder, the more she thought about the mark the more it burned. But something about the warmth and comfort of Mary Ellen was taking it all away faster then Jesse was ever capable of doing. A thought like that toke a while for her to get it off of her mind, currently though she had the distraction of the beautiful girl beside her. The one girl that truly made Jesse feel wanted instead of the common needed.

Certainly Jesse did like the feeling of being needed, the one to rely on because she always kept it together...well besides her current state. She knew how to cook and clean, and always put others before herself. Jesse almost needed to be needed. Now though she was discovering the feeling of being wanted. This was no crazy night scene with drugs and loads of alcohol, though the one bottle made them very drunk, still it wasn't Mary Ellen's normal night. They were laying in bed wrapped in one another's arms, they both wanted to be here.

A smile creaped to Jesse's face at the idea of her really being Mary Ellen's new drug like she was claiming. Certainly she had to be more safe then the pills she pops in order to have fun. Though it caused a smile the thought of Mary Ellen doing pills brought an unpleasant shiver down Jesse's spine. "There's plenty." Jesse joked a little though in her mind she was very serious, if it kept Mary Ellen away from actual drugs they could lay here every night. Right now she had her eyes of her newly found love, but the idea of her accidental taking too many pills was more frightening then the reaping.

Kissing along Jesse's neck completely vanished everything bad going through her mind, once again Mary Ellen had saved her. This brought good shivers, the kind that makes all the hairs on your body stick up. Exactly something that Jesse wanted to hear followed as well, though it would now be a new obstacle to struggle with. Neither of them wanted to have to hide their feelings for each other while in public, waiting for the few hours they may occasionally receive to be alone. This was great to know that Mary Ellen felt the same way, except that two girls be with one another was never even spoken of. As crazy as the capitol is it may even be a crime.

"I know." Jesse agreed with pure concern in her voice. "I'm so scared to find out the policies." She told keeping her word-choice specific to the cause, who knows what would happen if they held hands around the town square, let alone even kissed. "But not as much as loosing you." She added feeling like Mary Ellen would over load on the drinking or something of the sort just as she often did when she loses control of something. Drinking was her alternative to control.

Suddenly Jesse was on top of Mary Ellen as her hidden power escaped arising a giggle from Jesse. She had to be right about Mary Ellen's desire for her secret control. After all it was awfully attractive. Another kiss from her sweet lips that could never last long enough even if they never stopped, and then being held once again. She couldn't tell if she enjoyed being kissed and held more, they were both so perfect. "I'll be here for as long as you are." Jesse promised feeling the sincerity from Mary Ellen's words. If that was how she felt drugs and drinking may not be a life-threatening

"Don't go leaving me either." Jesse almost demanded, lifting her head up to see Mary Ellen's beautiful eyes and make sure her statement was understood. Witnessing someone going through over-dose was right up there with being in the hunger games, and Jesse wasn't going through that with Mary Ellen. Nothing was allowed to take her away, not anymore. She rested her head once again, listening to the beat of Mary Ellen's heart, now it was her favorite sound, and as long as she could hear it everything was okay.

So Many Different Personalities