Don't Judge me [Toast]

Izabella could felt the wind blowing through her hair as she ran down the streets pulling Austin after her. She didn’t really have a destination, just somewhere isolated and quiet. She could hear the sounds of laughing children and for once in her life she wasn’t jealous of them, she was one of them. Playing and running around in the streets and getting dirty, something she had never experienced before. She loved it. She could felt the sun beating down on her and her brown hair whipped out behind her, she also loved the feel of using her legs for something other than walking. Her heart pounded in her chest and her breath started to come out raggedly and it was a life she had always wanted. Izabella glad it that she was experiencing this moment with Austin and she a broad smile came over her face. A she looked back at Austin she could see him smiling back playfully. To her this was a dream, something that would never have come true but it was true she hoped. She never wanted this to end and she never wanted Austin to leave which was pretty self-fish.

Izabella could hear the sound of waves crashing as they got closer to the beach and the smell of salt was heavy in the air. She started to slow her pace to a walk and she gasped for breath. She felt a bit dizzy and out of air as she jogged along the path. But she believed nothing would destroy this very moment and everything she has ever wanted was happening right here. Her body stilled hummed with adrenaline and excitement but all she could think about how much her parents had deprived her of this her whole life. She didn’t want to go back home and face their wrath but she knew that something like this couldn’t last a life time. Izabella looked down at their entwined fingers and pushed all other thoughts aside, only thinking about how happy she was and that she need nothing more than this to satisfy her. She was about to say something when Austin came to a halt and quickly said, "Hey.. Can we stop for a bit? My eye is kind of uhhm.. it's hurting again, sorry." He sound embarrassed and shy about this but Izabella didn’t think any lower of him, being punched in the face would hurt right. Suddenly the image of the girl lying on the floor crying out for Izabella to stop hitting her came flashing into her mind. A flood of guilt filled her mind and she tried to push those horrible memories away, she wouldn’t let those ruin this almost perfect day.

The sound of crunching sand filled their ears as they walked towards the beach everything was quiet except for the sounds of the waves crashing down onto the shore. She could feel Austin was tense and wanted to tell her something so she stopped and looked him in the eyes but he looked away nervously. Izabella waited for him to say something but it seemed he had to work up the courage before anything was said. She had a feeling that whatever he was about to tell he never had done that much before. Izabella was patient and didn’t rush him, they had all the time in the world. He took deep breath and he told her quietly, "Hey.. Izabella? I don't really know how to say this, I've never been in this kind of situation but... I like you. Like, I like you a lot. You're amazing."

Izabella gasped and she could see a slight blush spread over his cheeks as she said those words. All she could think about was that someone actually liked her for who she was not for what she looked like and could offer. She tried to put a sentence together in her mind as her heart started to race and she could feel a smile twitch the corner of her mouth. “Austin,” She said quietly as she grabbed his other had and looked him in the eye, “I really like you to, your brilliant and caring and everything.” She felt nervous and afraid as she really didn’t know how to reply, she’s never been in this situation. Izabella knew how to flit and get boys to make eyes at her as she walked by. But never in her life has someone told her that the really liked her. In that moment she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. His body felt warm and solid against hers and she could feel the muscles that cover his body. “Thank you so much,” She whispered in his ear as they stood in the tight embrace.

Izabella felt Austin’s arms wrap around her waist and she leaned her head against his chest hearing the sound of his heart which was beating rapidly, this made her smile. Inside she felt like a small child and this was something new for her, something she never experienced. She was always jealous of the teenage couples she saw flouncing around the street as she always had wanted to experience what it was like to be liked (or loved). They always had a goofy smile on their face and seemed to smile all he time. Now here on the beach where she and Austin stood together she could finally get that chance to experience that dream she had always wanted. If this is what it was like, peace and being yourself, then she would want it any day. Izabella didn’t want that moment to end, she could live in it for the rest of her life and drown in the feelings of happiness, excitement and that small warmth that ran through her body. She let out a sigh of content and was lost in her thoughts of happiness and life.

Austin pulled back suddenly and gave her a small smile and he playfully tugged at her arms, gesturing for her to sit down on the warm beach beside him. Izabella carefully sat down on the sand beside him and folded her legs underneath her and turned expectantly towards Austin. “I'm sorry you had to witness all of that. It's just that we've only known each other for a day... I didn't want you to forget about me after that; honestly, I wouldn't have blamed you if you did. But I'm glad you didn't." He made eye with her the whole time he rambled on. Izabella let out a soft musical laugh and grabbed his hand. “Why would I want to forget about you? The boy who saved me from myself.” She hated herself for letting that anger control her and turn her into something she wasn’t and at the same time a selfish part of her was glad that it over took her otherwise she wouldn’t have met Austin. Izabella never wanted to face that uncontrollable feeling again; it scared her that something that dark lingered within her. But she guessed that some kind of wild part was in all of us, ready to be unleashed, some not as bad as others. She gave Austin’s hand a squeeze and looked away from him.

It had been one day, one day when she felt her life become something to live for she had finally found a purpose in life. To live a life full of love and friendship and it took that few hours with Austin to awaken that realization. Izabella in that moment didn’t know what her life would be like if she hadn’t met Austin. Would she still be that wild, untamed girl who was on the edge of insanity and destroying the life of another? Would Izabella be a girl who tried to defy her father and get together with any guy she could? All she knew is she didn’t want to find out. It was like she had been born into a new world, a new world with bright colors and friendship. Whatever kind of bond she had created with Austin was one she would cherish, one she would make sure never ended.

Austin’s hands on her cheeks brought her back from her thoughts and she felt her heart do a nervous flip. Izabella closed her eyes and concentrated on the warm hands that caressed her cheeks. Her heart suddenly burst with excitement and happiness as Austin pressed his lips to hers. They were warm and soft against hers and it was only Izabella and Austin that existed in the world at that moment. Slowly Austin pulled away and mumbled and an almost inaudible, "I'm sorry." His face was red with a slight blush when Izabella study him and she felt a broad smile cross her lips. “Austin,” she murmured, “you have nothing to be sorry for.” She reached out and touched his cheek softly her fingertips brushing the edge of his bruise. What happens now, she wondered to herself as she gazed into Austin’s green eyes.

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Izabella was so happy that nothing could change her mood at the moment. Right this very second she had everything she had ever wanted (well almost everything) in the world. Just getting to sense what it’s like to be loved and love someone back. She didn’t know what to expect but it was not a disappointment, the feel of a connection and getting to see someone else experience what you were experiencing, it’s so surreal. She just loved the feeling of being close to someone and having the chance to just look into their eyes and tell them all your secrets. Izabella believed that she could be herself around Austin and she didn’t have to change who she was to get his acceptance and friendship. To her this was something she would cherish and welcome anytime. She wished she had the chance to feel like this before but then again it would not have been the same without Austin. Izabella glanced at Austin and could she he wanted her attention about something. "Hey, uhm... can I ask you something? If your parents are okay with it, "Austin said and he seemed hesitant to carry on but she just looked at him expectantly, "Could I stay at your place for a bit? Until my parents decide I'm alright to take in again? I mean, I don't know how long it'll be but... There is school and everything,"

Izabella’s heart pounded in her chest as thought about how to reply. She really wanted him to have somewhere to stay and at her house really but she didn’t know if her parents would allow it. Maybe if she begged them they would say yes and then there would be no problem and Austin would have somewhere to stay. She thought it would be best if she said yes but she didn’t want to get there and have her parents rant and rave (especially her father) how no man in the district is good enough for her and how no one in this world would deserve her blah, blah, blah, blah. Izabella guessed she would just have to overcome that embarrassment and explain to them how they have to let him stay. She would have to lie to her parents and say he was just a friend. Would Austin be upset about that, would she be able to handle him being mad at her, upset for telling her parents that she was just a friend? Well there was one way to figure that out and we all knew what that was.

Austin’s next words really did surprise her, "Hey are you sure you want to be with me? I've got lots of faults, you know. I'm probably not worth anymore more of your time." He turned his head to look at her with his big green eyes and he let out a loud and long laugh that filled the air around them. Izabella felt a frown cover her face as she pinned him with a glare. “Why wouldn’t I want to be with you? How could you ask such silly questions? Austin you’re something I have wanted for a very long time.” Her face softened and she playfully poked him in the ribs. Izabella let out a soft laugh and said, “There's nothing in the world would ever make me happier then you.” She let out a small sigh and she could feel a blush burn her cheeks as she looked away, shy of what he would say to her. Izabella didn’t know how much he actually wanted her and why he would but for now she was just content with the fact he was sitting right next to her.