this time wrong feels { r i g h t } // Geebs, Blitz

Your eyes drag across the girl's face as she reaches into your suit pocket. Her fingers pull at the fabric, clutching at the empty space until she realizes that's all there is. Suddenly, her eyes are on yours again, blue flames flickering up into your face threatening to burn you. Your lips part to produce an arrogant "caught you" line but she surprises you. Now, usually, you don't fall for surprises but it is so sudden that you can't help but be shocked for a moment. One moment you've caught your prey, the next your lips are caught in a dance with hers. There's something about her, the taste of her kisses that is more intoxicating than any liquor you've had. Hands fly to her waist, and the next thing you know you're pushing her back against the wall.

However just as you lose yourself in her flesh, she breaks away smiling that grin you had never seen, only felt on your own face. Blackmail. Of course, don't let yourself get distracted by some piece of skirt. She may have thought she had you cornered, but Benedict Nolan is no rat to be trapped. What was the name of that obnoxious reporter? The girl that scurried around district collecting secrets because it seems that the little writer herself was standing right in front of you.

"Well, Miss Klare is it?" a permanent smirk is painted across your mouth, and you lean in as you say her name. All personal space eliminated. The beat of your heart in your ears. The numb tingle from her lips on yours. One hand is braced against the wall beside her head, the other brushes across her neck. "Are you familiar with the phrase "enough money to make it look like an accident?"

Your fingers are replaced by your lips traveling across her neck, planting kisses from her jawline to her collarbone. When was the last time you talked business between smooches?

Your gifts against Alicia's flesh seem to have left her mute. Her wit sounds a lot different when it comes out in fractions, and you swell with pride knowing it was your lips that wiped the words from her tongue. While yours kisses serve a function in this big game the two of you are playing, it isn't a daunting task to complete. In fact, the more kisses you plant the hungrier your lips become. Arms pull you closer while her words fall on deaf ears. There is nothing in this world anymore besides Alicia's collarbone and your lips. Heat fills your fingertips and air is hard to come by until the girl yanks your head up to meet her eyes. Your eyes flicker down to the girl's throat to see it turning various shades of red. The girl starts listing your attributes and your blue eyes meet hers only to have her speech fade away and her mouth connect with yours again. It is a an easy going kiss letting you take the time to really taste this mischievous girl. Everyone's lips taste different and you could call yourself a connoisseur of such flavors yet you had never chanced upon anything like Alicia.

Benedict. You have to keep yourself together. Don't let her throw you off course. She's as good a player as you are and you must always be on your guard, there might be poison on her lips after all- if you were in her shoes you'd have done it so don't dismiss the idea.

Her comment triggered more than a grin, it made you laugh. An actual out loud guffaw. "Well, Miss Alicia, was that a threat..." an arm wraps around the girl's waist, the other about her shoulders. Suddenly, you dip the girl as if the two of you were ballroom dancing. You're playing a theoretical dance, why not make it a little more real? "or a flirtation?"

Despite the change in position, you're still very close. In fact, you're close enough to touch lips again; this time it is just the briefest of contact, a phantom kiss that leaves your lips tingling and aching to touch hers again, and again, and again....

There was something in the giggle that passed between the girl's lips that made you grin. It was different from the put on, thought out chuckles from earlier, it was genuine and you didn't experience a lot of real things in this land of factories and liars. Her voice was smooth and dangerous, and when her mouth was pressed hard against yours you felt the threat and the lust in that single touch.

That was a proper kiss, alright. There was sweat on your brow, and your cheeks were flushed from want. You have wanted a lot of things in your life, and you tend to get them. Money, power, respect, fear- they're all easy to get if you say the right word or know the right person. You had known lust before, but a few nights with random nameless girls were nothing compared to the flame that was dangerously close to consuming you. The wit that flowed so easily from your sharp tongue was no where to be found and the only thought that would form was that of hunger, of lust, of want.

"You wanna talk business?" you say, your words slurring slightly, drunk off her kisses. You pull Alicia back up to her feet, but keep a firm arm wrapped around her middle. Your body is shamelessly pressed against hers without a hair's length of space between them. "How about the business of getting you out of that pretty little dress?"

The words came out breathy and you realize how careless you've become. Your steps in this tango were falling out of line and it would take only a few sharp turns for this girl to knock you off the dance floor for good. Yet, when you looked deep within yourself, you couldn't find a reason to care.

You were drowning, but it wasn't painful. Melting into this girl was like pulling the blankets over your head in the morning trying to block out the rays of morning light that threatened to pull you out of bed. Her lips moved with yours so perfectly it was if they were molded together and separated only to be reunited in this moment. Eyelids hung low, lazily guarding your secrets which are usually stuck behind vault after vault of protection. Right now she was stripping you of your defenses one at a time with every kiss she planted against your skin. And you liked it. For once in your life it wasn't about getting money, or using somebody against their will. Yes, you enjoyed those things quite a bit but just this once it felt good to be... normal? Mundane? Human?

Her lips were on yours again, her words slipping in your ears with your mind taking more than a few seconds to process them. Business. Secrets. The way she was suddenly very eager to please the "powerful" man before her. Those words sobered your mind up faster than a bucket of cold water. Looking into the girl's eyes he saw the wall in them. It had been cracked before, giving view to the true feelings that lay beyond it, but now she was working towards something- a loose tongue.

This is what happens, Benedict your thoughts taunted This is what happens when you let people in, when you let them become more than just players in a game. If you don't turn on them they'll turn on you. The flame of desire still flickered in your core but soon it was joined with anger, disgust, and pain. The combined power flushed your face red and, despite your carnal urges the rage won out and you pushed the girl away. She didn't deserve to be called by her name any longer. You had forgotten your ways, you had forgotten how stupid and cruel humans are.

"You and I both know what you do with secrets," it was a low growl emitting from deep within your throat. Your body cold without her pressed against it, your lips still numb from the kisses that made you feel like something more than a machine for the first time i a long time. "Take your business elsewhere."

Your name eases carefully from her mouth, but you bite down on your tongue to keep your emotions at bay. This woman is dangerous and you had already let your guard down once before. Yours eyes fall to the floor, but her skinny fingers find your wrist. The heat of her skin against yours was all you wanted but not now, not after you remembered what she was. Using a bit more force than necessary, you yanked yourself free from her hold. Your cool, calm demeanor was destroyed, burning with the flame this stupid, risky girl lit with the caress of her lips.

Then the accusations come flying at you. Your teeth are digging so far into the flesh of your cheek that the metallic tang of blood filled your mouth. You need something- you need a drink but she's gone and chugged the last bit of alcohol in the room. Control you remind yourself you are in control, Benedict.

Hands slip into your coat pocket, fumbling for your pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Lighting the damn thing proved difficult with trembling fingers, but once it caught the flame you were sucking in the smoke like a newborn gasping for its first breath. It burns your lungs but it doesn't matter because you're already on fire.

After a few failed attempts to slip your lighter into your suit pocket, you throw it at the side table where the metal hits the wood surface with a loud bang. Her words sting as they reach your eyes and you try to keep your silence. Sweaty hair falls into your eyes and no matter how many times you push it back it slides back down.

"Thinking you could sleep with a girl just to get what you wanted."

You want to move, you want to punch something, you want to rip this fucking tie off to get of this feeling that you're suffocating. Your feet start pacing back and forth and no matter how many times you fiddle with your cigarette to dump the ashes on the floor or how much your mouth burns from the smoke and the bite wounds, you can't keep it back. And then, something just cracked. As if your whole life was spent teetering on a pedestal and finally you swayed the wrong way at the wrong time.

A business man doesn't lose his temper.

"You know what?! Maybe I'm not the only one in the wrong here!"

A business man must be professional.

"At least I know what I am! And I know what I feel and I know I've never felt anything remotely like this before in my entire fucking life!"

A business man picks his words carefully.

"This is not on me! I'm not the one who sneaks around in the middle of the night trying to feed off of other people's success like some kind of parasite!"

A business man must keep his private life private.

"I have never felt so fucking angry in my whole life- I- I- I don't know what to do I don't know what to say! I'm pissed off, Alicia! I'm pissed because for some goddamn reason you think I do all of this shit because I want something! For fuck's sake, Alicia I'm not trying to take anything from you!"

A business man must always guard his interests.

"The only fucking thing I want right now is you! Is that so fucking hard to understand? You! Just... just you."

Your speech was quite a performance. By the end of it your face was drench with sweat, your tie was thrown across the room, and you regretted every last thing you had said. It was true, but it is always the truth that tastes the worst when its said. Your anger was dying out and soon it would be replaced with horror and shame at the realization at what you had done tonight. You let this girl break you. She could ruin you with this- Big Shot Gambler Loses His Mind. After working so hard to get where he was now, and at so young of an age too, Benedict knew something like this could ruin him forever. He had steered clear of cunning reporters his whole life and this one managed to get under his skin.

Without trying to gather your things that had been tossed about the room or even a final glance Alicia's way, you march out of the door. The doorknob has barely clicked into place behind you before it starts- the shame, the worry, the terror at how you had foolishly knocked down the tower you had been building and not just the tower of monetary success. The slow construction of a relationship with someone that didn't involve a paycheck. So desperate for intimacy with someone on your own level, you let it ruin you.

I have lost the game. The tango has fallen apart, the pieces knocked off the playing board. I am done for.

"They never just want me."

Alicia's tune struck a cord deep within your chest. How many people had you been intimate with? Not just sex but actual intimacy- deep talks, secrets shared, just holding another person?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Teeth clench together as you look down at the girl who seemed larger than life a few minutes earlier. The pressure of her fingers against your jacket is enough to make your throat dry. Eyes fall on the hand outstretched with your tie draped over it. The silk material was all bunched up and wrinkled. A dark shade of blue that some daughter of a co worker had complimented you on a few months ago. How empty the comment seemed now after a brief look into what real attraction could bring out in a person. Let's be honest, you had never cared for anyone but yourself, never wanted to share in someone's company before or even indulge in conversation. Everyone wanted you- your money, your name to drop, but never the real Benedict Nolan.

Long fingers were trembling as they wrapped around the girl's, crushing the tie between their hands. A thin layer of silk separated their palms. It would take just one step to trust, to believe to other person. It would take a single step to, maybe, find what everyone looks for their entire lives.


"I want you... just you," your voice was soft, hoarse from yelling earlier. You may not have realized it but you had leaned forward quite a bit, your fingers gripping Alicia's hand. Your free hand wandering up to hesitate by her face. Would she let you touch her again? Kiss her? Oh, how you wish she would.

Benedict Nolan wanting permission before taking something, that certainly was an improvement.