Pay Phone (Marr)

The moment I go into the house, I want nothing but to lay down. Just to relax a bit more and try to get over this feeling that's consuming my stomach. So far, this is nothing but a bother for me and the sooner this feeling goes away permanently, the better. I do leave him some room on the couch to lay with me in case he wants to, but I personally wish he would. It's been such a rough week without him here and only now, between us, is that burden lifting just a little without that news that I've been holding for the last several days.

"I"m hungry. I think I'll run to the store. What can you hold down?"

His question kinda confuses me. I'm not really expecting him to say something like that, but as with every morning, the feeling of hunger just isn't there. On the other hand, something small and light usually helps get over the feeling of nausea. "Crackers or something light. I'll be good with that." Besides, that's pretty cheap to be dealing with. For some reason, I don't feel comfortable with him wanting to get me something 'special' just because of what predicament we're in.

A moment later, he comes over to me to lay with me on the couch. Since there's hardly any room, he has to conform to my body. It's actually quite nice to be laying like this with him again. So close to each other. The need for something more pressing on my mind. Will things ever be the same between us? Is it even possible to go further than kissing anymore? With his hand, I watch from the corner of my eye as he moves across my arm, exciting the goosebumps just from the touch. I shutter from it.

His lips find mine and all the other problems just melt away. The stresses just disappear with his kiss almost like it's magic. Something I need and want most definately. He still cares for me or he wouldn't be kissing me.

"I like this kind of breakfast, too." I smile at him after the kiss had broken. I can't help the routine. My hand goes up straight to his face, to lightly touch his cheek. "Mhm. Have to admit, I want seconds." I reply to him and this time, I initiate the kiss, wanting it to linger longer between us. I will for it to go longer than what he gave me. It's a craving. "...and thirds. How far... can we go?" I make a teasing remark to him, only giving him a smile. For a moment, I lay my head back down on the makeshift pillow on the arm of the couch. "I could get used to this."

My choice for breakfast isn't exactly what Matthew would want for me. Ever since that day with Jins, I've found it hard to really concentrate on real life, including food, but it's just something that I could control when my life was being put through the ringer. Now? It's not even about that anymore as my stomach won't even handle the least bit of crumbs now. Just constantly being nauseated is overwhelming. I wish he understood it, but he's not the one that's dealing with the prospect of a baby coming soon. Hopefully soon, I'll be back to normal. For now, I have to focus on what's going on now.

"I will eat, I promise. Don't worry about me, okay? I'm good. You try being pregnant and see how you feel?" I give it to him straight. Maybe he'll undestand a bit more now? It's all done with a smile though.

Resting my head against the cushioned part of the arm rest, I take in this sense of belonging with Matthew. The quiet atmostphere of this little broken down house. The whispered sounds of our kissing. I bring on a tease as I always have with him, about getting more out of him than just a quick peck on the lips. Though, the question seems to spark something for him and his hand begins to trail down my stomach and does his own form of teasing. Gentle touches is what he gives me and then the hilarity comes out with his next statement.

"I don't think that's possible, Matthew." I give him a solid nod, but we don't need to go to far and I realize that. Though the union of our lips is full on needed and wanted. It's something that pulls me out of this little stupor of stresses and just allows me to be me. Just us two here. Nothing around us to interrupt or judge.

"We should spend more time, just you and me." I nod.

"I second that opinion... " With that comment, I feel his hands moving to please, but I place my lips quickly on his, softly yet with so much meaning behind it as well. In a fluid motion, I drap my leg over him to straddle his hips as I lean in to kiss him without having to share the couch in such an awkward motion. Nothing more occurs except just lighting placing kisses on him.

"Is this enough time... or more? Or should you go get some food?" I question him. "Want me to come with you? Or... should I stay here? Though, there's nothing much for me to do. I don't have a hammer or nails. No carpet to lay. I"m pretty much useless here. Besides, my clothes are still kinda at your place... in the dryer."

Is this really enough time for the both of us? Or maybe he wants more than this? I can feel how he responds to my being on top of him. How he's reacting to me leading these movements; the kisses and how I move on him. I can't help but grin in the process because it feels so natural right now. It's almost like nothing else is going on between us and the outside world, even he has to agree. He states how there isn't enough time, but also comments on my other part of my words stating that I must be starving. Maybe... in one sense, but in another, just a hint. His facial expression tells me a lot of how he's trying to tear his mind away from the inevitable but he manages to sit up despite me straddling him. With one more well placed kiss and a my teeth barely making contact with his bottom lip, I get up as well and move elsewhere so he'll be able to get up.

"That would be great. Would love to have clothes on that fit my body. These are nice though, just saying." I compliment how he's allowed me to wear his things. Oddly enough, they still smell like him even through the rain and sitting out all night near the fire. His scent is imprinted on the clothes no matter what.

We leave the run down house and walk into town. As self conscious as I should be wearing his things, I dont' even pay attention. I enjoy walking nearer to him now, not being left back at the house and not around the drama that we had last night. So, we go into our favorite cafe to order some food and after Matthew orders his food, I do as well. It's not much, but it is a filling sandwich that I order. Something similar to what I ordered the first time we came to this cafe, extra veggies on it, with little meat. "We can take it along if you wish." I tell him as he gives me the option. I just want to be able to get my clothes from his place and book it.

From beside us, the voice draws my eyes to look first as I notice that Matthew must know this kid that comes up to talk to him. I wait for the sandwich from the lady to fix it and as him and that new guy talk, I can't help but wonder why he's joining the career program. I also wonder why Matthew is so keen to just blurt out that he's going for a peacekeeper. The woman hands me the sandwich and before I know it, I'm being wisked away by my guy. Just as soon as we leave the place, I pull my hand from his just to walk beside him. If anyone was to see him and I holding hands then it would't be good if they knew he was becoming a peacekeeper. I also have to be aware that soon enough, we wont' even be able to hang out once I'm further along. Those fears sends a cold chill down my back and ends up in my stomach just thinking about it. Hiding this predicament won't be easy.

"I'm not letting you get kicked out, Matthew." I simply state. I'm being careful for his sake in all of this. I want him to prosper as much as he can. Even if that means that we have to appear that we're only friends. But how long have people known about us? Have we ever really been more than just... friends to the people around us?

I take bite after bite as we walk. Most of the time, my eyes do casualy linger on him. My mind whirling with thoughts and scenarios. Where are we safest to act upon our own feelings? When will I actually have to be put behind the scenes? Just calm down, Kya. You're over reacting... it's too soon to be thinking about all that.

"Is your dad going to be out of the house right now?" I ask out of curiosity as we get near to his place. I can see his front steps the closer we get and I actually slow down in my steps. I have no clue what's about to happen. If we may get lucky and his father be out of the house doing something just to avoid any more run ins with his son, at least for the weekend. "Think you should see if the coast is clear before I go as well?" What will happen if we walk into the den of the wolf? Will we be just a sacrifice to his anger?

Pulling my hand away from his holds so many meanings. Things that I can only verbalize enough to say that I don't want to be the reason that he loses his dream of finishing this peacekeeper thing. I've already altered his plans enough by what's happened between us. So, I make it my duty to try to keep him as much into his studies as possible. No matter the sacrifices. You're suppose to do that for the ones you love, right? As much as I'm afraid for him to be seen with someone that could end his starting career into the academy, he doesn't let me do that. He reaches for my hand and I'm not at will to let him go. This is something he wants then I won't fight it. I don't want to feel like the one to hold him back or keep him from what he wants. A smile plays on my lips though, as I feel his fingers tighten around mine and my arms grow goosebumps to this sensation. Another statement has me shrugging.

"It don't to me either. I suppose any chance of me following in Jeran's footsteps is a no go now." I state for the simple fact that I'll have a little one to care for. That also makes me wonder how Vy does it with Brooklyn. Doesn't she miss her?

We continue to walk, with a few sips of coffee to warm me from the inside out on the walk. The cooler weather is welcomed. Just as soon as we get closer to his place, I can tell how he notices my being uneasy now. What can I really say though to make sense to him? I've never had to deal with unpleasant fathers until the last few months. Before I met Matthew and participated in the games, life was seemingly perfect. Things have just changed...

He stops. Just out of the blue, he stops and looks at me to answer my questions of staying behind until the coast is clear. With my father, there's no arguments. With his, I can tell how much it hurt Matthew for his father to be mad at him. He tries to let me know that his father's opinion doesn't matter, but something he says just doesn't sit well with me. I know it's nothing bad, but when he said 'you belong to me', sends my mind whirling into another direction. At least for a moment, a horrific memory seems to jolt my senses.

His hand reaches out to take him and he asks if I am ready. I nod to him. Then we travel the distance up the stairs and into the house. Eerily quiet hallways greet us. No sounds in the entire house and only the kitchen light is left on. For a moment, I feel relief that his father isn't sitting on the couch waitingn for our return. I also begin to wonder if his father expects us back at all? Wouldn't it be normal to sort of just 'disappear' after an issue like mine and Matthew's comes up?

"I'll go get my clothes." I state with confidence, my voice no longer weary of fear. My clothes are still in the dryer, cold from the hours that they were left in it. With each peice, I hug it to my body and turn around to see where Matthew had went, but he's gone. Probably up in his room. Curiosity doesn't strike me at all, but instead I go to the downstairs bathroom and change back into my dry, cold clothes.

"Matthew?" I question when I exit, holding his clothes in my hand. Up the stairs, I enter his bedroom and lay his clothes down on his bed. Footsteps catch my ears first, so I"m only going to assume it's him. "Do you want me to help you study any today? Maybe go out to the park or something?"

As casual as I'm trying to be, it just isn't normal for me to worry about the footsteps that I hear because I know it's Matthew. We're the only ones herein his house and it wad to quiet for anyone to be lingering near. For a few seconds I wait to hear Matthews voice tell me that it's a good idea about studying in the park. Anywhere away from his house where his father may come gonna at anytime could occur. I place the clothes on Matthews bed before I hear the huff. It's strange to have heard cause Matthew was on a good mood so as I turn to meet with Matthew's face I catch the voice first and then the sight of his father. Immediately, I'm taken aback. In response, I step back expecting him to lunge at me for reasons I can't explain. After all, I am the one that just ruined his view on his son.

"Mr. Dunham..." I'm speechless. Caught like some little kid that had done something wrong. The look on his face screams at me to get out as soon as possible. Something in his posture tells me that I'm hated. I knew at first I was hatred by his father just because of his history with his wife and daughter. But now? I'm trying to take his son away as well, I fear he thinks. Again my stuttering vice seems to be caught if guard as I hear a sound from downstairs. Matthew is no where near. Shit... how do I talk to his father? How do I explain?

"Mr. Dunham. .. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you last night. I know you aren't fond of me... " I'm stumbling with my words because that's the only way I know how to deal with difficult situations. Maybe his father just wants me out? That, or he wants to corner me and scare the hell out of me? How do I get pass him? "I was just about to leave. I was only coming to get my things I left here last night."

The more I stare at him the more I want Matthew to appear. Since he's not, I dip my head down, turning my gaze toward the ground because I can't stand to have that disappointing look he's giving. I hasten my way over to the door subtly, excusing myself from the room. I squeeze pass the man as much as I'm able while I feel the need to apologize top him for what had been said the night previous. "...I'm sorry. " I steer clear of the guy and touch the hand rails of the stairs just in time to see Matthew coming up the stairs and a hand touching my arm. I feel cornered between these two. Now what?


Ooc: written on phone. Please excuse any errors!

The only thing I can possibly think about doing is apologizing to his father for things that doesn't even concern him. Yes, it's his son, but the situation belongs to me and MAtthew. I get a nasty comment back that burns a hole into my chest. He agrees with me. He's definately not fond of my and I don't blame him right now. It's just one more person, one more man, to add to that list that could potentially harm me, whether is't physica or mental. My mind is screaming at me to exit and I try, but he's the one that puts his hand out to block me as I try to exit. I can't even squeeze past him until he asks that question that makes my stomach flip. My family? My family don't know... but it's none of your business, now is it? I stay silent and somehow I get by just as I see Matthew coming up the stairs.

Just as I feel his hand on my arm to keep me from leaving, that's when I hear Matthew's stern voice telling him to leave me alone. His fingers disappear from my arm and I'm thrust into this dreamlike state where all of this feels just like a nightmare. Watching Matthew argue with his father over something that we've done.

How Matthew conducts himself in front of his father is that of someone with something to say. He brings himself to match his father's stature and to show him that he's not the only threat right now. I don't want to see them fight at all, though I know something is about to happen.

"...And I"m going to be a much better father to this kid... one who won't chase the mother of his children away." He's defending me against his father. I see the look in his fathers face immediately as he does this. That look of complete hurt yet anger that sweeps across his face. What Matthew just said is something I didn't think would ever surface and it somehow becomes clear what happened to his mother and sister. His father was the reason. I also put a connection between Matthew and his father because he's done it to me as well. Pushing me away is all he's ever known because of the role model he was given.

Matthew is different though. It's obvious now. A wave of comfort washes over me for only a mere second knowing that Matthew isn't going to end up like his father. I don't think that he's going to try to push me or this baby away. He's become the bigger man just by standing up to his father... then I hear it.

The sound echoes through my senses and I see his head turn from the force of the hit that his father just lashed out against his son's truthful, yet hurtful, words. I gasp. I honestly didn't think it would come to that. Argueing, maybe. But to physically hurt his son? I hear the words from Matthew then the door slamming downstairs. In the blink of an eye, it's just me and MAtthew here in the hallway as he retreats against the wall. I waste no time at all to go over to him, placing my hand ontop of his hand that is placed over the post that his father just hit. I'm speechless and safe to say, I feel my fingers shaking as I try to show Matthew that I am not leaving his side.

"I... Are you..." I'm trying to think of something to say to him to comfort him. I'm trying to come up with words that will question his well being, but I know for a fact that it would be useless. He's not alright. I can just see it by that look on his face. This was unexpected. The truth came out and left us to fend for ourselves. Certainly, his father won't disown him? Hopefully, his father will see the accurate information that was just belted out for him to hear.

"The truth hurts Matthew..." I tell him, siding with him one hundred percent. I leave my hand on top of his for as long as he will let me. I want to heal the hurt and pain he's going through, but how? "he needs time to realize that what you just said is real. He needed to know that... " My other hand has found his shoulder, forcing him to stay in front of me as I try to read his facial expressions.

"What do you want to do... I'm on your side."