Under the surface (Brody)

The first thing that baffles me is how right my guesses are, the second thing is that he actually takes the butter knife and flings it across the room so it lands on the floor with a loud metallic sound. The last thing is that instead of telling me off for calling him out and pretending to be alright, he tells me I wasn't lying. I believed I could handle the situation.
For a moment I gasp at him trying to object but then I let it go. "Maybe I did. I was wrong though."
It's not self pity speaking but the hard to swallow truth.
"Most of my life I have excelled in any physical challenge. I'm not used to being crappy at anything. I hate these kind of limits."
The short breathness forces me to do exactly what he says and put the mask back on that provides pure oxygen.
I slip the clear plastic mask that releases oxygen back over my nose and take steady but shallow breaths.
Now that I focus on it I'm starting to get a little freaked out. It's been a day since the pool and I still feel like I'm half drowning at times. It's a feeling that gives me anxiety. It's just like I said. I don't like being physically limited and when sitting up and speaking becomes a problem I get freaked out and suddenly focus on nothing but what's going on inside of me. Every little sting feels twice as bad, every drawn breath that stops half way through and doesn't provide the usual load of air makes things worse. A deep frown falls on my face as my eyes drift to the ceiling.
I'm still aware that O'Rourkes in the room and slightly embarassed but too self absorbed to care much.
As my anxiety grows the tension on my chest grows and things get worse.
I try my best to stay calm but it just won't happen, so I press out. "Get the doc."

It doesn't take long until the staff floods the room surrounding me, giving me advice and trying to calm me down. For a moment I do but my vision gets blotchy again giving away how bad I still am.
A moment later I get the right medication shot into my vein but it takes a few minutes to fully kick in.
All the while I can't think anything but 'I'm screwed. I'll never get to see the birth of my kid'.

Once the episode is over I'm on the verge of breaking down again. I wish I could tell O'Rourke about my kid on the way, I wish I could admit to him just how weak I really feel but I'm not one to give up. If I let him know he might drop me and I will loose my only chance at accomplishing my goal.

That's when the doctor sends the rest of her staff outside and gives me that evil eye again.
"You need medication to keep that at bay. Have you experienced something like this since the accident."
I'm still overwhelmed with fear and self pity but I give her a subtle nod.
"If you want my opinion what you just is mostly the scar tissue. There's no fluid left. Even if you go to a local hospital there's not much they'll be able to do for you. They can cut that part out but that's not going to improve anything."

She gives O'Rourke a meaningful look. Maybe she's been treating him before. I don't know.
"You know what that means. Do anything you can to graduate. Put your signature on anything they're offering you. Become property of Panem. Then you'll have access to Capitol medicine. You'll be as good as new."

With that she claps my on the bare shoulder and gives my trainer a nod. "Your job."
Then something that looks remotely like a smile crosses her lips.
"I'll get you something that'll get you through the next two weeks."

With that she hangs her stethoscope around her shoulders again and leaves a completely overwhelmed and baffled recruit behind.
What the hell did she just say? My mouth almost drops open before my face freezes.

OOC: Plan in place, right?