Death Beckons [Crusader vs Patricia Day 8]

{ p a t r i c i a v a l f i e r n o}

thank you, i'll say goodbye soon
though it's the end of the world
don't blame yourself

First chance she got, she ran. Knew she would. I knew Galaxy was a fucking rat in the dark waiting for an opportunity to slip away. I was careless, weak. Asa would have been ruthless enough to put her away regardless of what she was saying. When I set my sights on her, I thought that's the attitude I would have followed, but-... But I'm weak. Weaker than I thought.

And now she's gone.

Happened so fast that I couldn't grab her and remind her of our plan to work together. Doubt she had any intention of following through with that. Heh. Her and I really are alike. At this stage of the Games, trust is a luxury.

Alone again. Alone in the dark, in the damp, in the cold. Alone with the memories of Barnabas' screams and Pearl's green face on the walls and Asa's death stare. Memories repressed but not repressed so much that they don't surface and jump me when I least expect it. Churning, turning in my gut. I want to be sick. I am the last survivor of our group, alone, alone, alone. That word drives into my head, pounding away. Cast iron fact. They're all stone cold dead. I look at my hands, the only things that are real, and I wonder how much more blood will be on them by the end of this. Not nearly enough, I feel.

Galaxy is a coward, and I was fucking stupid to let my guard down. She never had any intentions of staying by my side and helping me take down that monster of a boy from Eleven, or the agile boy from Eight. She only wants to get away and hide, whilst the rest of us hack the shit out of eachother, leaving her the last one standing. Smart, yes, but so fucking weak. Weak in different way to me. I know how to kill and how necessary it is now. I'm not held back by some old concept of morality or humanity.

I stay by the lake, waiting. Deep booms of another cave collapse still echo through the cavern, and I wonder if any Tributes were killed. Any sound of a cannon would have been lost in the blast. I sigh heavily, lurching over and staring at the ground. I want it to open up and swallow me, like it did to Cha. What a peaceful way to die.

I can't sit here and wait to die. My sister is at home, watching and waiting for me to return to her. She would be so proud that I have come this far. So happy that I have lived for this long. Well, that's relative. It's not like living this long has been pleasant. Quality of life over quantity of life. What's the point in living if you're not really living at all. Surviving. Suffering. Prolonging. It's not for myself, but for her. To return to her. The only person left in my life that I give a damn about. The only person I fight for is her.

I get lost in my own thoughts, so much so that I suffer for it again. Metal strikes me in the mid-section, and I cry out. I can't see what's going on, the movement is too quick to focus on. A shadow in the haze of green darts forward, so I dive out the way and scramble on all fours towards my gear. Stupid, stupid girl. Lost focus, now you're gonna die. Can't die, not now. Gotta live, gotta fight. Pearl's voice screams in my head telling my to get my weapon. Rose's voice shouts for me to watch out for the attacker. I catch them in the corner of my eye. Galaxy? No, too big. Crusader, it has to be Crusader.

I grab my sword and scramble, feet pushing away from where I was and into space. I turn on my heel and see his looming figure advancing. I have met this behemoth of a Tribute before, even attacked him midst the chaos of a feast, but now I am alone with no backup and no advantage. It is him and me.

"Did you kill Pearl, you piece of shit?" I ask, walking backwards, my hands shaking. Fear, that's new. No it isn't. Showing fear is new. Always been afraid, always masked it. Hid it. Not now. Now I am exposed, like I'm bare fleshed and naked.
"ANSWER ME!"

Oh, fuck this shit.


[Patricia Valfierno attacks Crusader Rhodes, Bone Sword]
eCZ4J__7sword
[Shallow Cut on Left Shoulder -- 3.5 damage]

and if it's true
i will surround you
and give life to a world
that's our own

word count: 742, graphics: rook
theme: goodbye to a world by porter robinson

{ p a t r i c i a v a l f i e r n o}

thank you, i'll say goodbye soon
though it's the end of the world
don't blame yourself

Answer me you piece of shit. I deserve answers. I know it wasn't Galaxy, she doesn't have it in her to kill someone as dangerous as Pearl. Could be the other boy, could be Crusader. I need to know, before I die. I need to give her some sort of justice. She was my friend, my only friend in here. If someone killed her, I need to kill them. This isn't about self defence, kill or be killed, or any of that shit. This is about me.

"I did kill her. What am I supposed to do though? Allow myself to be killed? Doubt you'd be angry if I was the dead one. Grow up. I've lost people as well." He snarls, the brute that he is. He did. He killed her. He murdered my friend and tries to justify it in front of me. To me. I'll kill him, I'll rip his throat out.

"YOU FUCKI-"

He slices my hand clean off. My voice cuts out mid-sentence as my eyes follow my hand as it drops to the floor, still clutching my sword. Next comes searing, burning pain. I scream, my left hand grasping my wrist. It spews blood, pain shooting up my arm with every pulse. I fall to my knees, shrieking until my throat is raw. My hand. My hand is-... It's gone.

He advances again, surely to finish me off. Tears streak down my face, my breaths are desperate and shaky. Pain. Pain. Blood. Bleeding. Not here. I won't fucking die here. My left hand snatches up my sword and hacks at the monster.


[Patricia Valfierno attacks Crusader Rhodes, Bone Sword]
RFenr1m5sword
[Shallow Cut on Forehead -- 4.5 damage]

and if it's true
i will surround you
and give life to a world
that's our own

word count: 742, graphics: rook
theme: goodbye to a world by porter robinson

{ p a t r i c i a v a l f i e r n o}

thank you, i'll say goodbye soon
though it's the end of the world
don't blame yourself

My hand is gone. Oh Ripred, my hand is gone. Searing pain shoots through me. Every beat of my dying heart sends jolts of pain through my body. I see red in this blackness, only red. My body and my mind are collapsing in on themselves, pain is taking over, and will continue to do so until I am full. Full of this agony and suffering, and then I will cripple over and bleed out, and suffocate and die. I have never known pain like this. Searing, blistering pain.

And oh, what's that? Something with it. Something that I am familiar with. Oh yeah, I know that. I can tap into that. With all this hot, boiling, furious pain is a rage like thunder, bellowing and brewing, folding over and over like a snowball down a mountainside. Bursting at the seams of my skin, snapping at all my nerves and stinging my eyes. My lips are cracked and my skin is painted red, my snarl is just as feral as it always was, and this girl is broken but not defeated. Not yet.

Symbolic links are created with the “ln” command in base code. The syntax of the command is: $ ln -s
-s = This flag tells to create a symlink (if you don’t use this it will create a hard link, which we will talk about soon).

Shut your mouth, I know what a soft link is. Damn, we've been over this four or five times at least, I get it. Eh? Well, Rose can catch up at home I got better things to be learning that shit I've covered multiple times this month. When do we start the fun stuff?

Fun, fun, fun. None of this is fun you stupid girl, it's all for one purpose and that is progression. Understanding. Knowledge. Equip yourself, know what you're dealing with and progress. You and your sister will never survive in this world unless you learn that. Not just in computational environments but the real world. Listen to what I'm saying Patricia, I don't need to teach you any of this, I'm doing it out of choice.

$ ln -s /usr/bin/gedit ~/Desktop/gedit

There, easy. Created a soft link. Happy? Or do you need to give me more life lessons about how any of this translates to the real world?

It was easy. Easy peasy. Computers aren't people. Computers are predictable. They're all the same, deep down, at a base level. People are stupidly complex. Like even now, whilst my hand is severed and lying on the floor, and my wrist is continuously bleeding, all I can think about is symlinks. Cracking codes and redirecting entry codes. Maybe it's important. Maybe my mind is trailing to that because I can use it here? Or maybe my life is just flashing before my eyes as I bleed out and die.

Redirect the address, create a shortcut. Redirection. Crusader Rhodes. There's an equation here and I have to figure it out. Notice how calm he is, how composed he is. You don't get this far in the Games if you break under pressure. He ain't even breaking a sweat. I'm the polar opposite of him right now. Bleeding, crying, sweating, screaming. Redirect it, Trix.

If you don't like the hand you've been dealt, change the game.

"I k-know..." I scramble back on all fours, "T-That you've l-lost people!" I push to my knees, grabbing my sword again.
"I know all about them...!" I try to laugh but end up coughing violently, forcefully until blood is on the back of my hand. I smile at him, wearing one last mask.


[Patricia Valfierno attacks Crusader Rhodes, Bone Sword]
JXi|KYK0sword
[Shallow Cut on Right Thigh -- 3.5 damage]

and if it's true
i will surround you
and give life to a world
that's our own

word count: 600, graphics: rook
theme: goodbye to a world by porter robinson

{ p a t r i c i a v a l f i e r n o}

thank you, i'll say goodbye soon
though it's the end of the world
don't blame yourself

And maybe I did. And maybe I didn't.

But he doesn't know. And I don't know, but he doesn't know that I don't know, and for all he knows, the only person who knows, is me. I lick my lips. That's the best part of someone not knowing.

My arm stings like hell, worsening with every second of my existence. No amount of bandaging is ever going to fix this. They can prepare you for cuts and scratches, but no amount of preparation can compensate for what it's like to lose a limb. Nothing.

So I wear this mask, because it's the only defence I have now. I told myself I was done pretending to be other people, especially in the face of death. I wanted to stare death in the eyes and let him take me as I am, without any ruses. Of course, I took one look at death and was too fucking afraid to leave this world as Patricia Valfierno. I am scared, so very scared. Crusader cracks, and this is all I have to pry leverage into that crack and split it open.

"Which of your friends..." I pant, "Which would you like to hear about first?"

He hesitates, and I go at him again. He's weakening. Emotion is his weakness. Gotta exploit it. Gotta redirect the momentum of this fight to my favor. Got to. I lean on my sword and try to push myself to my feet, even though every fibre of my being is screaming at me to lie down and pass out. I fight it, just like I'm fighting Crusader, and the Capitol, and every fucker out there who thinks they're above me.


[Patricia Valfierno attacks Crusader Rhodes, Bone Sword]
ZBG9rNrOsword
[Shallow Cut on Stomach -- 4.0 damage]

and if it's true
i will surround you
and give life to a world
that's our own

word count: 280, graphics: rook
theme: goodbye to a world by porter robinson

{ p a t r i c i a v a l f i e r n o}

thank you, i'll say goodbye soon
though it's the end of the world
don't blame yourself

He doesn't react. Good for him. Maybe I'm not fucking prying enough. Maybe I'm not agitating him enough to provoke an action other than to mindlessly attack me. It feels like there are daggers all around me, all pointing at me, and all pressing gently against my skin, slowly pushing their way inwards. No way to shake it, or escape it.

Suffocating on metal.

Choking on reality. If I am to dance with this behemoth, I need to be level with him. At the moment, I am but prey. I need to use weapons of my own. Words. In the right order, they can do more damage than any blade. Someone told me that a long time ago, but now, as I look at where my hand used to be, I find that very hard to believe. I'm a fool. What am I doing? Have I lost my mind? I'm focusing on provoking someone who has half-killed me, hoping that he will falter or become vulnerable, when really I could just be making him even more dangerous. Ripred, I don't know. I really don't know what I'm doing anymore I just-... I just do it. Instinct? Nah, more like improvisation.

Fuck, this hurts so much. Even moving my arm slightly sends waves of agony through my broken body. I'm right handed, and my right hand is gone. If I am to kill Crusader, it's going to have to be with my weaker hand. I grimace, holding the blade awkwardly whilst also trying to push myself to my feet. Every action is slow and painful, and in no way poetic. I must be a walking target in my current state. Crusader has an easy kill. All he has to do is pick me off.

Ain't no one picking me off. Not back in Five, not on the streets, not in the Arena, not now at the end of all things. I'm a sewer rat. You may think you've seen hundreds like me before, but man do I bite. Watch me bite, and scurry and survive. Like I always have before. Survive.

Man, this is fucked up. I guess toying with his emotions is the only option I haven't exhausted. Ain't no way in hell I'm going to beat him in a straight fight. Fuck, I wish Pearl was here. She would know what to do, from an expert's point of view. At the very least I'd have someone I trust watching my back. Nah, I'm alone now. I'm alone and I hate it. I need my friend back. So desperately. Maybe I'll see her soon.

Crusader comes at me again, and it's all I can do to not get hit. He grazes me, but it still hurts like hell. I scream out again, stumbling over pathetically. Nah, I ain't seeing Pearl just yet. If I'm going down, I'm taking this fucker with me.
"D-Did you not-... Not hear me?" I stagger, "Your friends are dead. All of them. I f-fucking watched them bleed out and die. Saw the fucking l-light leave their eyes."


[Patricia Valfierno attacks Crusader Rhodes, Bone Sword]
iKVnKDm5sword
[Shallow Cut on Right Hip -- 3.5 damage]

and if it's true
i will surround you
and give life to a world
that's our own

word count: pls, graphics: rook
theme: goodbye to patricia by porter robinson

{ p a t r i c i a v a l f i e r n o}

thank you, i'll say goodbye soon
though it's the end of the world
don't blame yourself

sc me baby one more time

[Patricia Valfierno attacks Crusader Rhodes, Bone Sword]
58H73A|vsword
[Shallow Cut on Back -- 4.0 damage]

who will stop this sc beast

and if it's true
i will surround you
and give life to a world
that's our own

word count: pls, graphics: rook
theme: goodbye to patricia by porter robinson

{ p a t r i c i a v a l f i e r n o}

thank you, i'll say goodbye soon
though it's the end of the world
don't blame yourself

all or nothing

[Patricia Valfierno attacks Crusader Rhodes, Bone Sword]
Pw1yOvvUsword
[Shallow Cut on Right Forearm -- 3.5 damage]

seven shallow cuts this is hacks

and if it's true
i will surround you
and give life to a world
that's our own

word count: pls, graphics: rook
theme: goodbye to patricia by porter robinson