an act of kindness [wu brothers;jb blitz]
Oct 3, 2016 14:37:49 GMT -5
Post by gamemaker kelsier on Oct 3, 2016 14:37:49 GMT -5
"We have to take care of each other, It's important."
Who just said that, I can't help thinking, as a hand wraps itself around my arm, the things that only Tobias is allowed to touch anymore because he promised me that no one would hurt me again. My eyes have lost Tobias in the crowd, his head went down beneath the sea of heads and a wave of movement take him from me. The crowd is moving and I am not moving with it, they've taken me out. No. I've taken me out.
My head floated away from me this morning, I think I lost it at sea. The last thing I remember is last night, Tobias shutting off the light. I told him I'd see him in the morning, I don't know if I did.
Tobias thinks that there is nothing left for me to protect when it comes to him but it isn't true. A person can waste their life caring for something that's too broken to piece back together well. Scars line every inch of my skin and missing teeth mar my smile. My fingers click when I clench them and I don't want him living his life in dedication to someone so irreparable.
I was remembering last night what it felt like to wish I was dead. I couldn't forget this morning I guess. I've turned to the sea in desperation many many times since I've come home but even the salt of her kiss on my skin, even the way she carries me so gentle above the waves cannot heal me. Tobias thinks that if he holds me tightly enough he can force me to stop falling apart.
But all those years, I never had another thought, a goal other than seeing my little brother again.
I have now.
I reach into my pocket, bare feet hitting hardwood as they bring me into the justice building. I remember it from when I was twelve and my teacher took us to see it before our first reaping. The vial of sand is in my pocket but Tobias is missing. I think about the mouse in my sock drawer at home. I wonder if Tobias will take care of him for me.
I'm not worried about things, I feel strangely alright about it. they shove me into a room and sunlight filters strangely through a broken pane of glass. It creates waves on the floorboards and I feel better about it. I stand in the spot of sun as they lock me in and I wonder where Tobias is, if he'll be coming to see me.
I think it's about time he let me go.
Keeping me is killing him.