You Have No Power Over Me // [Day 1.5 CL/CI/LA]

[newclass=.jorggradient1]text-align:justify; background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, #FFA48F, #75B0AA, #D7BFBF, #D3CB9D, #DDB6C6);linear-gradient(top, #FFA48F, #75B0AA, #D7BFBF, #D3CB9D, #DDB6C6); -webkit-background-clip:text; color:transparent;[/newclass][attr="class","jorggradient1"] I missed, her I can’t believe that I missed her. She was starting right in front me and I missed. Well that isn’t embarrassing at all right so ever. She laughs and makes some stupid remark at the pun of my own name. “You act like it’s first time I’ve said it.” I told her as I gave a wink and turned around. Fighting on these stairs makes everything much more difficult, and I am not making it look easy. I bet I look like a fool in front of my family right now, dressed in ridiculous clothing, and unable to hit a girl. “WHY THE HELL DID THEY GIVE ME GODDAMN HEELS?!” They are incredibly uncomfortable, hard to maneuver in and even though they make my ass look great, they are highly unpractical. I feel like a drag queen fighting in a twisted version of a ball house. I turn back to Ivar and Lorenzo and Chaos’s brother talks about the fans back in Four enjoying a little man-on-man actions as he hits me in the back. Even in this twisted situation i can’t help but laugh at all of the innuendos that these people love to drop. “Again you O’Hanas act like it’s my first time.” I turn around to face them. If they want to continue this fight I’ll be more than willing to, it’s only my first day here but I am rearing to go. I hear Lorenzo make some comment about burying his friend in a closet as he grabs my arm. I’m still laughing my ass off because, let’s be real here these other tributes really need to work on their phrasing.

“You know Lor, a closet is really cramped and you can’t get into the most fun positions. I’ve had more successes burying my friend in a bed, so much more room for flexibility.” I give him a smart ass wink, and I turn my gaze back at Chaos, hopefully actually hitting her this time.

[newclass=.jorggradient1]text-align:justify; background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, #FFA48F, #75B0AA, #D7BFBF, #D3CB9D, #DDB6C6);linear-gradient(top, #FFA48F, #75B0AA, #D7BFBF, #D3CB9D, #DDB6C6); -webkit-background-clip:text; color:transparent;[/newclass][attr="class","jorggradient1"] I turn my eyes away from Ivar for only a few seconds, but that is enough to time change everything in these hallowed halls. For when I turned back unto my ally, I see him swimming in a pool of blood. My eyes widen and my shock is visible, for a second I fear that it is his own blood that he is lying in. A cannon shoots off, echoing deep within my heart. I couldn’t bear losing Ivar, knowing that I was the one who was supposed to protect him. That is when I hear the thud of a body hitting the floor. And it was sharp enough to bring me back into reality. I see the guy from District 5, Lorenzo, who seemed to have a thing against Ivar attacking him for the majority of this fight, on the ground. The source that is feeding into the lake that Ivar is swimming through. And I am shook. I had the O’Hanas’ and Lorenzo’s attention, doing my best to keep them away from Ivar, but somehow Ivar managed to break the skull of Lorenzo. I’m not even sure how he did it, still on the ground.

The light are fading from Lorenzo’s eyes, fading faster as the blood spills from his body. He just wanted to bury his friend, yet now he is the one who needs to be buried. Laying side by side with his friend, both of them are the source of the lake we now all stand in. Watching people die and kill each other on tv is one thing, but to actually witness it is something different, and knowing that your friend is the cause is something else. I know that Ivar didn’t mean to kill him, at least I hope. I turn to see his reaction and for some sick reason I am glad to see that it is mirroring my own. Shock spread across the man’s face and I stare back, unsure of what to say or what to do. I know he didn’t to, but now he was a soul on his hands. As much as I want to I’m not sure if I can help Ivar thought that, That is something that he has to do on his own.

The siblings start to have their moment, with Lightning kissing Lorenzo and Chaos grabbing everything that she needs from her own kill. I’m still trying to process why Lightning would even kiss Lorenzo when he makes a comment about why we shouldn’t be fighting and not to follow him. Thinking about how even though I was the first to swing at them in the Bloodbath, I wasn’t trying to kill them. I only wanted to keep Ivar and myself safe. Chaos follows him shortly after, stating that I could follow if I wanted some before she winks at me. Well that is another unexpected surprise. The air should be filled with somber and regret, which it very well is. However it is also filled with a twinge of fun, which I’m not sure if it is entirely appropriate at any given time in this Arena. Knowing that we all volunteered for death mainly, well-hidden behind promises of glory and answers that we will never receive.

Now it is just Ivar and I, standing among the dead.

”I didn’t want this to happen.” he states as his face hides the turmoil that must lie within. I am his ally, and quite possibly friend in this Arena, I feel that it is my job to help him out as much as I can, yet I am at a loss in this situation, for there isn’t a manual on how to help your friend with murder.

“I know buddy, I know you didn’t.” I reply, my voice deep with sorrow. I hate feeling this helpless, knowing that there isn’t anything I can do to help. I scrooch down to his level, hoping that he wouldn’t take offense to it.

“Do you what you need to do, I’ll be over there waiting.” I say to him as he slides on over to Lorenzo. I know that now probably isn’t the time but I can’t help but wonder how he managed to it in the first place. But that is a conversation for another time. I take out the portrait that Ivar was looking at earlier from the folds of my fur coat. I hope that he would appreciate it, but we will see. No one ever talks about how to comfort a murderer, yet we both are very aware that we have been taught and groomed to be one. They teach us that it shouldn’t be personal, yet everything in life is. Once he has finished with everything that he needs to do, we go on down into a different hallway, not knowing what will lie ahead. But do we ever know? Do we ever truly know where our lives will be heading? Who knows, maybe in the next fews days Ivar and I will be the ones laying cold on the ground, waiting for a hovercraft to come pick us up.

I just hope that I am not there for the day when Ivar dies. I hope that I am not the one delivering his final blow.