Burying Memories {Yoya & Lyndis}

||Losing Jackson was the absolute most difficult thing that Bryan had ever experienced. First, his brother was ripped away from him at the reaping. Then, his brother’s life was over sooner than Bryan ever would have imagined possible. He could remember watching the screen as Jackson faced the red-haired girl from Three, just hoping, hoping that he would make it through. Unfortunately, the prayers Bryan made for his brother to live were never answered, and Jackson became another one of the fallen tributes of the Hunger Games. For many people, he’d just be another one gone. Another one out of the way so that their own family member would be able to return home. Most people probably wouldn’t even remember his name, or how he died.

Bryan wondered if his brother thought of him while he was in the Games. Surely he had plenty of things running through his mind, but did he ever think of his family? Certainly he had to have. After all, they had all always been so close with one another, that it wouldn’t have seemed right for Jackson to have forgotten them, even in his final moments. The younger boy knew that he certainly wouldn’t forget his family in his last moments. There was no way he’d ever let that happen. No, definitely not after Jackson’s terrible, unfair demise. Bryan knew that Jackson hadn’t done anything to deserve death. That was something he was certain of. His brother was a kind soul, and never had a reason to be killed by anyone. No one would even have a reason to hate the boy, as far as Bryan was concerned.

The day of Jackson’s funeral was a difficult one for Bryan Samuels. He dressed in the clothes that he’d set out the night before, as he didn’t want to have to think about what to wear on the day of. After all, his looks were the last thing on his mind when it came to seeing his brother’s unmoving body for the last time before he would be buried in the soil. The only thing that Bryan put effort into appearance-wise on the day of the funeral was making sure he had his hair combed out nicely. Out of a mix of anger and grief, however, Bryan snapped the comb he used in half as soon as he finished with his hair. He needed that release. He had needed to get the rage and sadness out of his system, and while it didn’t get rid of all of it, breaking something certainly assisted in the process.

Arriving at the location of the funeral, Bryan’s legs were shaking, and the boy’s palms were sweating profusely. He didn’t know how to calm himself down in the moment, and therefore just tried his best to remain quiet for as long as he could manage to do so. Family and friends spoke of Jackson highly as they said their goodbyes and last words about him. Bryan could certainly respect that. Jackson deserved so much better than what had happened to him. Of course, he deserved all of the kind words that were spilling out, but Bryan just wished that Jackson could have heard them while he was still alive. Did his brother know how much everyone cared about him as his life flashed before his eyes and eventually faded away?

When Bryan felt ready, he rose to his feet. He felt that he needed to speak to his brother, and about his brother, just one last time. Heading to the front of the room, people looking on in silence, he cleared his throat. Then, the fourteen year old boy spoke. It felt more necessary than ever for him to say what was on his mind. Therefore, he shared, giving his last words and final goodbyes to his dear older brother.

”Jackson,” he started. ”You were, and still are, one of the most amazing brothers anyone could ask for. It’s already really hard not having you here, and it will continue to be that way. We all really miss you, you should know. I prayed for your return alive, but my call was only half-answered. You returned, but only in a cold, lifeless state,” Bryan paused for a moment. Clearing his throat again, he continued.

”That’s not what I wanted. I wanted to see you come home, even if that meant you had to fight everyone that stood in your way. I’m sorry I didn’t step up to protect you, or to take your place. I regret that even more now, seeing you like this. I just want you to remember that I will never forget you. You’ll never leave my mind. Most of all, I want you to remember that we all love you. I love you.”

Bryan looked from person to person before looking at Jackson’s body one last time, and walking back to his seat. His eyes had begun to well with tears, but he didn’t hold them back.

and bury all the memories we made