This Is The Bad Place {39ers/Blades/DJ Quest ft. Shy Guy)

The words that Carmen lets fly from her mouth hit me in a way that stings like a wasp, and when you get stung by a wasp, it hurts, but it also makes you angry. That's exactly how I felt right then. She told me not to pretend I had a good reason. How could Carmen, out of everyone in my alliance, not think that I had a good reason for attacking Denali? Denali was the one who'd hurt her in the bloodbath, for Ripred's sake! The only reason that Carmen had experienced any form of physical injury in the fight for supplies at the cornucopia was because of Denali, and now she didn't even seem to care that I was trying to punish the girl for hurting her!

"If you don't think attacking the person who attacked my friend, also known as YOU, Carmen, is a good enough reason to fight, then I'm not sure what is," I explained to her. My grasp on my weapon tightened. If she didn't want me fighting her battles for her, then she should start trying to fight them on her own.

I was ready to swing my machete in the direction of another tribute again, likely Denali (despite Carmen not seeming to care what my reason for doing so was) but I stopped as soon as I saw the terror that unfolded before me in a split second. Before I could stop it, and before I could even think of what to do, Faux's head was smashed in by the weapon that the boy from two was wielding. It was a crudely made, spiked weapon that didn't even look like the now-killer who possessed it could properly hold it, given how small he was in stature.

There was a bit of irony in the last words that I heard Faux speak. "I'll be okay," he had said. How much more wrong could he have been? I'd never known Faux to be wrong about something until then. He was such a smart young man, and he'd reminded me a bit of my eldest brother. Now, though, Faux was gone.

"Faux!" I screamed. Bursting into tears, I felt so much more than just anger flowing through my body right then. There was sadness, despair, regret, guilt, and so many other emotions, all mixing inside of me, and I had absolutely no idea as to what I was meant to do. I wanted to run and I wanted to hide, but at the same time, I wanted to fight back. I wanted to attack the boy from two and slice his neck apart for killing Faux.

Why did I feel so much violence and anger while I was in this place? The Games had changed me far too much, and they'd barely even begun. This was the very first death, signified by the boom of a cannon, yet I was ready to cause another. Back home, I'd always been a pacifist. Jory would hate who I was as a person, now. I doubt he would even want me to come home at this point, with how different I was becoming.

The rainbow mouse ear hat that I wore on my head, I ripped away and threw to the ground in anger. Fiona was clearly distraught, too, telling Carmen to get me and go. The thing was, I didn't want to be near either of them now. I didn't want to be near any of them. I didn't want to have the risk of being the reason one of my friends died again. Now that it had happened once, I'd be doing everything in my power to do it again.

As the girl from Six departed- in a very rude fashion, might I add- things just felt like they were speeding up all too much. When Faux's body first fell, things were like they were moving in slow-motion. Now, everything felt like it was in fast-forward.

Laughter is booming from Lexandriy and I want to yell at her to stop, but I can't get any more words to surface from my throat.

Before I know what's really going on, the fast-paced chaos has Denali screaming at me, too.

"Because you’re such a sweetheart!" her voice is full of rage. "Ooo, yeah, big man! Swinging that sword around and telling the girl who watched her brother’s brain ooze out his eyeball last Games how she hasn’t felt enough pain yet! Because what?! I bumped into some girl you’ve known for one whole day?!"

I'd known Carmen for more than a day, as Denali had stated, but I wasn't going to argue. Not with Faux having just died. She was in such a rage that I wouldn't have been surprised if she put one of those weapons through my neck in half a second. I wasn't that stupid, even if it may have seemed like it at the time. "You know who deserves to feel pain, Oliver?!" Now her blade's at my throat and my mind begins to panic. I was going to die. I knew it. This was going to be it.

"Not you either."

What?

She moves the weapon away from my throat and I take a quick step away from her, catching my breath at the same time.

Lex's laughter had stopped at this point, and she was pulling Denali away. They were letting me live, but for what reason?

I was beyond confused in that very moment. Did she just say I didn't deserve pain? Had those two girls just shown me mercy? Did I even deserve to be shown mercy after I was so reckless, endangering my friends like that, risking their lives and letting one of them die because of my own stupidity?

Surely I didn't deserve to be shown mercy. Regardless, however, it happened. I'd been spared, at least for now.

I look to Carmen, then to Fiona, then to Faux's killer, and finally to Faux's lifeless body. I speak to Faux, even though he's dead and gone.

"I'm sorry, Faux. This is my fault. It shouldn't have been you who died."

Then, I looked to the boy from Two. The murderer. My friend's murderer.

"You!" I snap. "Get yourself the hell out of here, alright?" I point my machete at him in a way of a threat, but I don't think I could have actually gotten myself to attack him. I'm not sure why, but I don't think I could have done it, despite wanting to sever his head from his body just a few moments before. My mind was jumping from one place to another, not completely sure of what I wanted to do and what I didn't want to do, or what I should do and what I shouldn't do.

"Shy, was it?" I ask. "Be like your namesake and stay away from me."

I lowered my machete, took one last glance at my allies and started to head away from the terrible scene.

I stopped in my tracks when I was next to Carmen, however, saying one last thing to her.

"I only bring harm to everyone. I can't stay. I don't belong with you and Fiona. You two need to fight without me." I clenched my fist at my side and then looked her in the eyes. "Move on and forget me. Forget Oliver Wren."

Then, I ran off into the woods.

As I ran away, I hastily unbuttoned the top button of my shirt and threw my rainbow bow tie to the side, letting it fall to the ground far behind me. Did I even deserve to continue to wear this rainbow cape?

I contemplated discarding that, too, but I didn't do it.

Maybe if I was wearing something that gave me the vague appearance of a hero, I wouldn't be such a villain after all of the chaos that I had caused to happen today. One could hope, right?

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1297 words
table by Kaplan
art credit: xrhize on DeviantArt