leonie hope. d8.

Some people say that I take my last name too seriously. Not because of the history attached to it, no, but because of my optimism. To some, I'm the literal embodiment of a too bright sunbeam. And I don't mind it.

There's no real rhyme or reason to the way that I am - I've just always been a dreamer, and sometimes living in a dream is better than waking up to the world I live in now. I'm not as naive as some people think I must be. Okay, yeah, I may trust everyone on our first meeting, but what's wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt? It's painful to be treated like you have bad intentions right off the bat. And I don't like to hurt others. I can't even do something bad on accident without feeling terrible, let alone if I actually did it on purpose.

I don't know how the people that walk out of the arena in one piece live with themselves.

Growing up with Jayson and Svana is... interesting. They're both so different from me. I at least try to spend time with them, but I don't particularly enjoy it. Don't tell them that, though. I don't want to upset them.

I want people to feel good. If I see something that reminds me of someone, I'll bring it to them, whether they ask for it or not. When I was little, I used to catch butterflies and bring them home, although it would usually cause chaos when I freed them from my grasp (even after four different butterfly hunts throughout the house I still didn't learn to not do that). If someone cracks even the tiniest of smiles because of me, that's a win. When we're sitting around the dark of the dinner table at night, I talk about the best parts of my day in hopes that someone else will share, too. They usually don't, but... I'll keep trying.

I have to keep a positive outlook on things, or I'll be reminded of everything I don't have, like whether someone has more money, or is happier or prettier or has closer siblings or less dead family members that haunt every walkway of their homes. I can't cave into the jealousy, no matter how frequently it tugs at every inch of my skin.

Instead, I'll lean my head into someone's lap and let them count the freckles on my face, and I'll count theirs, and we'll immerse ourselves in the little moments. I'll tell them the best stories that I can come up with, and hopefully they'll be just as awestruck as I am every waking moment of my life, even if just for a moment.