perry! d2 fin

calla
RP Tutor

2,122 POSTS

Pronouns: she/they
last seen Apr 27, 2024 19:59:46 GMT -5

just a litle creacher

perry! d2 fin Sept 17, 2020 23:26:36 GMT -5

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Post by calla on Sept 17, 2020 23:26:36 GMT -5

peregrine 'perry' gauthier

in case you haven’t noticed, i’m weird. i’m a weirdo.
i don’t “fit in” and i don’t WANT to fit in. have you ever
seen me without this stupid hat on? that’s weird.

/ you can hate her but she do be do be do ba
sixteen / f / career
ur local high class cryptid
cass

Last Edit: May 27, 2023 22:36:48 GMT -5 by calla

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calla
RP Tutor

2,122 POSTS

Pronouns: she/they
last seen Apr 27, 2024 19:59:46 GMT -5

just a litle creacher

perry! d2 fin Sept 19, 2020 23:34:23 GMT -5

Quote

Post by calla on Sept 19, 2020 23:34:23 GMT -5

Welcome one, welcome all, to the best damn career guide you're ever gonna find. Not to toot my own horn, but I've got 4 little rules for you here (nothing too bad don't worry) handpicked by yours truly and formulated to give you the best chance of success. But don't get cocky! Even I can't fix scrubs.

So, without further ado:

PERRY'S ULTIMATE GUIDE TO CAREER TRAINING
(100% FOOLPROOF!!)

1. WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER

Look, this should be a given, but there's so many hard-asses here in Two, I'm gonna start with this one. It's pretty important. And yeah, yeah, I know that everyone thinks there's "honour" and "chivalry" in a fair fight, but I'm pretty sure anyone with a brain can recognize that bending the rules just a teensy bit is a much better alternative to getting a sword through your skull.

There's a reason the first rule of fight club is not to talk about fight club - if everyone knew how to fight dirty, there'd be no more advantage to it!

2. CONNECTIONS!! CONNECTIONS!! CONNECTIONS!!

If you found this, and if you're reading this, you're probably sitting all by yourself under the stairs while the other kids are out playing, right?

Ha, loser!

Nooooo, come back! I don't mean it, swear on my granddaddy.

But listen kiddo, if you want to get anywhere in this world, you're gonna need some allies. Go out there and get some buddies in your corner, not a lot mind you, backstabbers are everywhere, but just enough to tip the scales in your favour - start with a smile! And if you're not good with that sorta thing you can just try out my method: sit beside them at lunch everyday and when they start looking at you funny, reach over and steal half their food. Works every time.

That's how I met Laura, and we're thick as thieves now.

See, that's real important too. You've gotta find that one person that isn't stupid like the rest of 'em. And then you've gotta hold on tight. Don't lose them like you lost your sense of self worth in the sixth grade.

Kidding! I'm kidding.

Also, while you're at it, find yourself an enemy too. Nothing gets you quite as far in the public eye as a rivalry does.

3. KNOW YOUR LIMITS (AND THEN CHUCK 'EM)

If you're good at hucking axes, huck away! If punching someone smack dab in the face is more your style, then you better start wrapping those hands. Either way, once you find what you're good at, make sure you master the hell out of it.

And then move on!

You need to broaden your horizons. Screw the system. Become a jack of all trades. How many times have you seen a tribute spend all their time training with a sword only to never even touch one in the arena?

C'mon, I'm right and you know it.

And yeah, I know stepping out of your shell is scary, I was a kid too, but you gotta have a little faith! Staying in your comfort zone is lame anyhow.

The other thing I should probably mention here is don't burn yourself out. You're not doing yourself any favours if you're trying to train while you're all dead on your feet. In fact, it's probably just going to make you worse.

If being a career is your only personality trait?? Yeah, we're gonna have to work on that.

Go take a nap or something! Relax! Jeez! Go to a spa. Go catch a frog. Go perform a cultic ritual in the sewers. Climb up on the roof and do some shrooms if that's your cup of tea. Whatever floats your boat, dude. Just do it!!

4. PICK THE RIGHT STAGE NAME

I've left this one for last because it's obviously the most important.

I'm sure you've noticed by now that all the best careers, all the best victors, have some pretty wicked names. That's what'll help you stand out and get scouted by the big schools. Work that creative brain! Jazz up that resume! And don't be afraid of rhyming.

Take some advice from the greats - Cricket Antoinette is a way cooler name than River Destin. I mean, who wants a victor named after a puddle?? Not me!

It's like how Mom named me and my siblings after different birds, all three of us - Robin and Wren and Peregrine. I really got the short stick there, huh? Like, Peregrine?? The fuck is that?

Whatever though, they don't got shit on me, I'm the coolest in the family. Evidently.

And you can be too! It isn't that hard honestly, it's just something you're born with. We're special you and I, normal people scare us. So what if we've got pet toads and double blackout curtains and we keep cutting our own hair even though it looks fucking god-awful every time? We're unique, baby! Own it!

(And change your name to show it.)

...

So yeah, that's all you really need to know. I might come back and add to this later. Probably won't, though. I'm a busy bee these days, and I've got better things to do than go out of my way to help out a little twerp like you.

Anyways, if you see me in the halls, don't talk to me. Make sure you burn this when you're done too. I ain't giving away trade secrets to everybody in Two.

Good luck!

Last Edit: May 27, 2023 22:38:07 GMT -5 by calla

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calla RP Tutor 2,122 POSTS Pronouns: she/they last seen Apr 27, 2024 19:59:46 GMT -5 just a litle creacher	perry! d2 fin Sept 19, 2020 23:37:24 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by calla on Sept 19, 2020 23:37:24 GMT -5 dabs ripred_bot
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ᴥ Head RP Tutor 4,548 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Apr 27, 2024 17:40:22 GMT -5 oof	perry! d2 fin Sept 20, 2020 17:17:26 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ᴥ on Sept 20, 2020 17:17:26 GMT -5 this is such a fun mix of humor and your usual breathtaking style! and the advice kinda slaps ngl accepted!!
	Last Edit: Sept 20, 2020 17:17:53 GMT -5 by ᴥ the m o o n controls the t i d e, it could cause you to d r o w n