stain your blade || mer's jb 89

I am getting older and older and I still cant believe just how cruel the world is. To think, that it had been years since I had lost Dymas to these wicked games. Eleven years seems like it all passed in the blink of an eye, and even to this day, I still have nightmares about how he had taken an Axe to his own chest.

I still blame him in some ways. Because we both knew that he could have come home, but the way he went out, that was very Dymas like. I couldnt fault him for that. His terms were always way more important anyway.

But that didnt mean it stung any less.

I got lucky. I know. Never called for the reaping, and even getting my best friend back from all of. Annie had been my rock. My protector. I hated her father with every fiber of my being. Of course, I dont condone killing, but I cannot lie, i benefited from it. It is an evil I just have to live with.

Annie hasnt told too many people about what she had just went through, she doesnt trust much anymore now a days. The reapings had become some what easier for her though. She doesnt talk about it much anymore with me. I dont blame her.

Except this one is different.

Because Anarchy had decided to open his mouth and throw his name into the mix. It replayed in my mind as the reaping finished. Addison and I nearly in toe with each other. We both definitely did not see eye to eye on a lot of things, but this was important. This was our little brother after all. None of us lived together actually, now that I think about it, but we were still family.

I wonder what our actual parents would have thought about all of this.

We cross into the building and then make our way upstairs. We are stopped by Peacekeepers, but Annie is quick to dismiss them as we pass through. Arc is standing there, with their dog at the heel. I cant help but want to scream for some reason.

The rage is so out of character for me.

But then I remember that Ive lost the love of my life, and that I have lost my parents, and that I have lost everything that I knew to be home for me. Annie has been the only one that stood by my side, rescued me even. I did not owe anything to the Mer's.

I am a Morrisen.

"Blood is thicker than water." I say, knowing well that none of us actually believe that. All of us know exactly where each other stand. Addison is doing her own thing, just like myself. "We might have all taken different paths, but we still have each other." I dont know why of all times, I am choosing to be deep.

"Addison is right about that. The dog is staying here Arc." I couldnt believe I actually agreed with my own sister. It tasted just as salty as the ocean. With this salty bile bubbling up my throat, I try to contain myself. Ive lost too damn much to not care at this point.

"What was even going through your head when you opened your mouth back there?" I probably didnt deserve to know the answer, but that would not stop me from asking.

I think I am at least owed an explination.

i've been losing friends and finding peace
honestly that sounds like
a fair trade to me